A missionary; A tale of undercover missionary work

One day I was walking out and someone said they’d show me around the ward the next time I was free, which happened to be my 20th birthday. I said sure. At first I was super devout. Now I’m devout but it is super fun and I’m learning about my religion. I was baptized 15 months after 1st “wandering in” in my 20th birthday. Nearly 2 years later I was confirmed, met a returned missionary (and got asked out by him) and gave a talk. My mom had come to terms with this and I’m happy about it since I’ve got a support. My brothers and dad have come around as well but not as much as my mom. Weirdly, when my paternal grandfather was on the brink of death my eldest younger brother asked me to give my grandfather’s name in the temple. I said no because I didn’t want to get in trouble. My brother begged me. I’m like fine I’ll see what I can do for it. Since my uncle was on the lawyers contact list I assumed he knew best so I asked my uncle to get permission to submit my grandfather’s name to the temple and I explained the thing the best I could but he said no thanks. I’m like ok. The day my grandfather passed away my mom dragged me to the singles ward saying I needed to be there. I’m like “ok” upset. I mentioned my brother being my youngest sibling when I said he was my “baby brother” despite him being my youngest brother being nearly 15. Before Sunday school the bishop at that ward saw me and asked what’s up with me. I walked up to him visibly angry and said in a snarky voice, “my grandfather dies today.” He hugged me and said how sorry he was. I turned and went to Sunday school. By the end of my time at the break the fast people heard my granddad passed away and checked on me. That was the 1 time I’d seen them until January due to the divorce schedule and vacation. Many of them knew I was still in town thanks to social media but no one understood where I ran off to for 5 weeks. It’s no one’s “job” per se but someone should’ve told them that I wasn’t dead or that I’d skipped town. When I reappeared in January I met Elder Bennett and Danny asked me a million questions. I was able to act as though I’d never left. The kids were happy to see me again, although many likely were thinking the same a Danny. I ditched them (I don’t SAY I ditched them to their faces and told a friend of mine that I’m happy I was MIA for 5 weeks since I didn’t want them see me cry after losing my grandfather, which I frequently did over 10 days). It shows I care about their perception of me. I needed my other ward so they could help me thru the difficult time. I’d gotten a blessing the night before I found out about my grandfather being in the hospital since I was terrified about my exams. Also I’d pretty much gotten as much of my work I could done beforehand. I was given a break and asked if people could do anything for me. I’m like no thanks and if they came before I needed them that I’d physically stick a candy cane up their nose sideways. I know that sound freakishly violent but try understanding that I lost my last grandparent. I was going thru something. I know that’s a good time for people to help but I’m like I’ll let you know if we need anything. The bishop at my main ward granted me space and said to me “If there’s anything we can do for you please let us know.” I’m like thanks and indicating I couldn’t think of anything at the present time. People at the singles ward said the same. I guess I made it clear I needed the Kentlands ward more than I needed/ wanted the singles ward people. I didn’t ask for anything. My friends cheered me up. I don’t mention my religion a lot. I once mentioned it by saying I am 1 with the book of Mormon musical ad. I don’t like mentioning it a ton because I don’t want people to think I’m weird. I’d told a bunch of people I’d mentioned being a Mormon in dance class. They all asked how it went. I’m like fine. I mentioned it since I had the musical ad. It wasn’t much. The sister missionaries said my classmates would be “inspired by my example”. That was nice. So when I gave my talk I mentioned my family. My mom wanted me to make it personalized. A conference talk I used was about Bobby the wonder dog having internal radar to home. A story that made it personalized was my story getting lost in the Kentlands as a 6th grader. Someone said that scared them since not everyone could relate to losing a dog but someone in the LDS church could likely understand losing track of a 6th grader. It was awesome when I gave the talk. When I 1st walked up everyone cheered. I was super embarrassed since I’m the only 1 who had that. Also I had to yank down the microphone twice since I’m a shorty. It was awesome since my friend tried to go hear me give it but missed the sacrament. I’d told my grandfather about the sermon. He seemed proud I’d given a sermon. 3 weeks afterwards my grandfather was in the emergency room. My brother begged me to try to give my grandfather’s name to the temple. I said no way because of my need to not get in trouble. I’m like fine to see if my uncle would consent. I was told that I’m a missionary despite not wearing a nametag. It was said that a missionary is someone who encourages having someone to have faith. My brother is baptized into another faith but he has a strong faith. I’m usually quiet on the “faith” part along with spreading the “word of god”. Occasionally when I have them in my hand I’ll give out little pass along cards with the address to the visitor’s center in Kensington? I was doing things around Germantown while texting my friends about being a missionary sans tag. I was drinking something hot since it was cold the day of my communications exam. I remember my 1st (and so far only) time I went into the temple in Kensington. I was panicky and nervous. I calmed down after a bit. The day after I was questioned how I liked it and how many times I was dunked. It’s beautiful inside if you’ve never been inside. Interestingly once inside someone asked me my name to confirm it. That was sweet that someone asked about me. Wouldn’t be the 1st but still nice. One person who came to ask me came WAY too close for comfort. I was able touch his suit he was that close. I’ve heard that was a sign of attraction. This elder showed SEVERAL signs of attraction towards me. He’s cute and VERY sweet. Several elders have had an attraction to me. It’s not surprising since I AM considered pretty. Missionaries are sweet people. Once I heard a talk (what we call sermons) about missionaries and it was funny. I told my friends from the singles ward about it. I’m wondering where we’d be without them. My mom thinks they’re nice; especially since once 1 gave me a blessing and said it was the highlight of the day. They helped me with my conversion. Several have had attractions to me. One was nervous around my mom. Another was happy I’d mentioned him to my mom. They were super nice. I didn’t like 1 at first but later on he was more relaxed so I assume: nerves. The 1 who said the blessing he gave me was the highlight of his day (his name is elder Egbert) I told him about missionaries who didn’t know I was a covert and calling them stupid. I admit that was rude but that’s also kind of funny. Elder Egbert’s companion was hilarious and made me laugh several times. I’ve heard girls are more likely able to fall in love with boys who make girls laugh. Also he’s sweet and opens the door for many people. When the sisters who baptized me left they gave me a scrapbook of everyone who came to my baptism. There were 30+ people there. The book was full of noted from people who were there (with some exceptions). All of the notes were awesome. One even was even signed love so and so. That note was my favorite since he was my favorite Elder. He was so sweet to me and nervous to meet my mom. I loved all of the notes. They were all expressing how happy they were about me deciding to get baptized. 1 of the guests I did the “do you have a brother named James” joke since his last name was Bond. The baptism was awesome since I was the 1 who didn’t have to lift a finger despite wanting to. There were small things I did like introducing the elders since I wanted to do something and they were nervous. Another was introducing someone I’d “hooked up” with my mom. That was nice. Apparently I was super chatty. What’s hilarious was after I’d gotten dunked in the font and had gotten my glasses back I’d walked over to the changing area and my mom ran in to help me. I didn’t even see her at 1st. I started unzipping my jumpsuit and then said, “oh hi mom.” We beat the person who dunked me by like 10 minutes. The returned missionary was 1 of the 1st boys to “ask me out”. That was nice. His mom came up to me and said, “This is my son.” I didn’t react for a couple minutes as I was listening to green river running red (an audio book on the green river killer aka Gary Ridgway). When I finally snapped out of it I said, “Can I help you?” I followed her arm and said hi and then hurriedly turning off my electronic devices and introduced myself to the boy. It was about a month after I’d gotten baptized. He was curious but didn’t answer any of my questions and looked like he had a pole up his butt. I’d drunken too much coffee and had to excuse myself during his talk. I heard the rest from the back while reading about Ted Bundy. He’d gotten my number behind my back and asked me out a week later. That day was fun. I was at the beaver dam rock quarry and was in the “locker room” changing into my street clothes when I got a phone call it was Bradley (the returned missionary). He told me he was going mini golfing with his family and asked if I’d like to tag along. I said no thanks since I was heading out of town, which we were. It distracted me from completing MY mission of finding a new swim suit, which I failed. I’d talked to him when I’d got back. He asked if I was going to the 4th of July breakfast and I declined since I was tired. His mom loves us together (by trying to set us up). I’m like “yay” thinking “gah.” I passed on information to Brad’s family thinking how he liked this thing Great Wolf lodge offers (he likes mini golf and Great wolf lodge offers it as well as a side attraction). When I saw his mom when I gave my talk I asked about him and how he was. He and I are friendly to each other. I loved it when he asked me out. He freaked me out but that’s also kind of flattering. I love mini golfing but I was out of town and tired when he called me to go out. People are apparently “blessed to be my friend”. It is nice to be friends with a good person. When I gave my talk I’d invited as friend to give me moral support. My friends are usually there to support me. Although I usually complained of back during the spring semester I was able to get leniency because of it but I can’t always get out of stuff because of it. What I call a blessing are the simple things. My last name being pronounced correctly is something I call a blessing since it is usually butchered to death. Leniency due to my scoliosis is another. I suffer serious scoliosis but luckily losing weight is helping me a little. Someone even SAID they were blessed to know me. I’m like same here as I was blessed to know them. The family who said that functioned as my guardians and helped me navigate socially. I’m hoping to actually go on a mission but I’m not sure. I’m scared as is my mom. She is scared to let me go off on my mission. She loves me and loves me going to church knowing this is where I feel at home. When she agreed to let me on a mission she seemed into it. She seemed into it and I was scared. Turns out she was terrified of letting me go off onto a mission. I was excited but am scared. It’s awesome since my mom is on board. When a couple times I ran into Jehovah’s witnesses and accepted literature from them. My mom thought that was funny: Mormons vs. Jehovah’s witnesses. It was. When they offered me literature I’d taken 1. Once I “ditched” the singes ward for 5 weeks. That wasn’t voluntary and for 2 weeks I was out of state. So my parents are divorced and my dad had 3 weeks so I had to go to the Kentlands ward and during that time: I had my finals, my grandfather passed away and we had his funeral (actually he passed away the 1 time in December I was in the singles ward and then I disappeared) and I left town for a couple weeks. When I “came back” to the singles ward my friend Danny was confused during Sunday school and then questioned me before sacrament meeting. I was able to “pick up right where I left off”. That was a fun meeting. I’d met a friend minutes before and then other friends coming to say hi to me. My friend Danny and I are super close. When he saw me the following day after he’d questioned me in the singles ward I was like who’s that waving at me? I wiped off my glasses (my glasses are typically dirty since super lazy and forget to clean them). After I cleaned the glasses off I’d gasped and said, “Danny.” I passed him twice. I said, “Hi.” The second time I’m, “hi I’m with my class got to run. Bye.” My mom said now that I knew where my buddy Danny was she told me to hang out (go on a “lunch date”) with him. I did after the semester was done since we were both super busy. We went to a buffet and got fish breath. We shared a song book. Danny’s a goofball but sweet. He got me to game night and saw me dance. Once a missionary saw me and noticed I was “new” and came to introduce him. I explained to him that I wasn’t new to the ward but that I’d been MIA for a few weeks. I called him cute. His companion was nice and very sweet. I told him his old companion’s new companion was cute and then called him (the 1 who introduced himself to me) cute as well. On his birthday I messaged him “happy birthday” and he said thanks. He’s nice, cute and very sweet. He was supposed to be French speaking (as his companions) and I surprised them BOTH by asking if a baguette was a stick of bread or something. That’s when someone noticed my harry potter phone case and the missionaries noticed and said yeah that’s nice. Sweethearts and cuties all in 1 are the missionaries. I loved how bold elder Bennett (the 1 who introduced himself to me) was. It takes guts to introduce you to someone. I loved that about him. His companion (Elder Hunter) was super forgetful often forgetting my headphones were not a necklace and I’m basically blind without my glasses. Elder Hunter’s nice but forgetful. Elder Goring (Elder Hunter’s companion after elder Bennett) smiled a lot. Especially when I told Elder Goring I’d mentioned him and Elder Carpenter to my mom. Sweet kids but strange as he smiled thinking “ooh yay she mentioned me.” I was repeating what Danny told me. Yes I mentioned him but only casually as a friend. Elder Goring has a slight crush on me. I could tell but we’re just friends. Once I commented on a picture he posted and he and his mom liked my comment. He’s a sweetheart (checking on me saying don’t say that when I said I hate my life unknowingly I was referring to my back killing me since I’d hurt it the day before). The sister missionaries are sweet too. The ones in the singles ward said hi to me as I left the last time. I said hi, my mom’s outside so I should scoot. Bye. The girls are usually more protected more than the guys. I heard that sisters get put in small towns where not much happens and tons of precautions are there so the girls can do their missions. A precaution is the time they need to be back, carrying pass along cards with the elder’s phone number and getting cars. They agreed tomboying around is harder to do in a skirt, which I wear ½ the time. I mentioned I’m a tomboy since I’ve got 3 brothers. I also explained how I got involved in the church. They were transferred from Silver Spring. One sister was super friendly. She constantly sharing songbooks, sitting with me (or having me sit with her). It was sweet but sometimes it was weird. She didn’t understand something’s in the USA. Once I ran into a couple elders who were canvassing my neighborhood in late May. I nearly missed them as I was running with my dog and listening to music. I noticed them and they asked if I’ve ever read the book of Mormon. I said yes and revealed I’m a Mormon convert. I got a pass along card with their number on it. I shot them a text. Later I asked if they wanted to come over. They said sure but it dropped. Something similar happened in January. I was trolling on Facebook adding someone and then they made a group with me and said who they were and started asking how to fellowship my brother. I’m like, “uh I don’t know” on repeat. I told them “I’m no mind reader. Please ask my brother these questions.” The questions weren’t bad I just didn’t have the answers. I asked people from the Kentlands ward about it and they said asking me was inspired by the Holy Spirit. I was like how? They said by being lead to the people who CAN help in situations. I’m like ok. I told some of the people from the wards I attend (I go to 2 different ones) about my scoliosis. They say I’m sorry and ask if I need anything. I’m like no since my whole family has readjusted to me having scoliosis. I’m glad people ask if they can help as needed but since I readjusted to having scoliosis I’m like no thanks we’ve got this under control. I just wish people would stop asking if I needed help in the way everyone else from the church does. Sometimes people offer to drive me home and I usually refuse unless I know/ trust the person (aka people from my main ward). I know that’s kind of hypocritical of me to ask some people for help and no other people but here’s the thing: I’ve got trust issues and I don’t like having to depend on more people than necessary. The kids at the singles ward are my friends and they’re sweet but I can’t do that to them. Why I can do it to some and not others is beyond me. I’m trying to swallow my pride and ask for help as needed. When I ask for help I do it because: I trust them and like them. I don’t ask people at the singles ward not because I don’t like them it’s because they’re going to have what I call “a running gas bill for me”. I’m also embarrassed about it since I’ve got scoliosis and have muscle spasms since it’s embarrassing about my muscle spasms since I can’t have a license… yet. They keep talking about how driving me wouldn’t be any trouble but would be a blessing. I’m like, “to each his own” but to me since I can’t drive and am embarrassed to ask anyone I’m like no way. The reason I deny them “blessings” is because I’m embarrassed and have been bullied for my muscle disorder in the past so I don’t want to be hurt again. My friends are willing to help me. There’s this 1 guy at the singles ward who refuses to call me Jackie. I’ve told him a couple times. He just calls me “sister.” I’m like that’s great but I have a name. Someone else said, “Her” when referring to me when I was upset over losing my grandfather and honoring the Sabbath day. I don’t think that sister knew my name.