Thursday, December 28, 2017

Sneak out

I snuck out this morning. I told my mom where I was "running off to" so I didn't scare her but I left without her knowledge. I went to get coffee so I could get some air. It was fun

Wednesday, December 27, 2017


I've likely got more leg injuries than the rest of my family combined. The reason: my legs are uneven so I am prone to leg injuries

Nearly snuck out

I thought I was the only 1 up at this time but when I went to go get clothes 99% of my family was already up so I didn't have to "sneak out" for coffee.

Tuesday, December 26, 2017


So I usually laugh when I say my family is unlikely to come into my ward. Reason being they're not mormon and are unlikely to convert but I usually offer them to come in with me. Once I didn't since I woke my brother up having to get to church for a meeting with the bishop.

Saturday, December 23, 2017

mental torture

when i gave my talk my family came. surprisingly, they liked the service. my dad said i was his favorite speaker (because i'm his kid of course). no one in my family liked the 3rd speaker. my brother said the "charm" wore off and my dad said he spoke in monotone. i was my family's favorite speaker (obviously). my energy was great as well as my examples.


my family is packing for a vacation we're taking. we're leaving for 2 weeks tomorrow. 1st off to California and then onto Hawaii. goodbye cold weather hello healthy back.

Friday, December 22, 2017

Vanishing hitchhiker

The vanishing hitchhiker (or variations such as the ghostly hitchhiker, disappearing hitchhiker, phantom hitchhiker, or the hitchhiker) is an urban legend in which people traveling by vehicle meet with or are accompanied by a hitchhiker who subsequently vanishes without explanation, often from a moving vehicle. Vanishing hitchhikers have been reported for centuries and the story is found across the world, with many variants. The popularity and endurance of the legend has helped it spread into popular culture. Public knowledge of the term expanded greatly with the 1981 publication of Jan Harold Brunvand's book The Vanishing Hitchhiker, which helped launch public awareness of urban legends. In his book, Brunvand suggests that the story of The Vanishing Hitchhiker can be traced as far back as the 1870s and has "recognizable parallels in Korea, Tsarist Russia, among Chinese-Americans, Mormons, and Ozark mountaineers." Variations of the story: A common variation of the above involves the vanishing hitchhiker departing as would a normal passenger, having left some item in the car, or having borrowed a garment for protection against alleged cold. The vanishing hitchhiker can also leave some form of information that allegedly encourages the motorist to make subsequent contact. In such tellings, the garment borrowed is often subsequently found draped over a gravestone in a local cemetery. In this and in the instance of "imparted information", the unsuspecting motorist subsequently makes contact with the family of a deceased person and finds that their passenger fits the description of a family member killed in some unexpected way (usually a car accident) and that the driver's encounter with the vanishing hitchhiker occurred on the anniversary of their death. Other variations reverse the scenario, in that the hitchhiker meets a driver; the hitchhiker later learns that the driver is actually an apparation of a person who died earlier. Not all vanishing hitchhiker reports involved allegedly recurring ghosts. One popular variant in Hawaii involves the goddess Pele, traveling the roads incognito and rewarding kind travelers. Other variants include hitchhikers who utter prophecies (typically of pending catastrophe or other evils) before vanishing. There is a similar story which is about two travellers sitting next to each other on a train (normally a man and a woman). One of them is reading a book and the other person asks what the book is about. The first person says that it is about ghosts and they have a conversation about ghosts. Then the second person asks if the first person believes in ghosts or has he ever seen one. The first person says that in all of his life he had ever believed in or has seen a ghost. The second person then says that she doubt it and with that she vanishes. Classifications of the story: Beardsley and Hankey: The first proper study of the story of the vanishing hitchhiker was undertaken in 1942–43 by American folklorists Richard Beardsley and Rosalie Hankey, who collected as many accounts as they could and attempted to analyze them. The Beardsley-Hankey survey elicited 79 written accounts of encounters with vanishing hitchhikers, drawn from across the USA. They found: "Four distinctly different versions, distinguishable because of obvious differences in development and essence." These are described as: A. Stories where the hitch-hiker gives an address through which the motorist learns he has just given a lift to a ghost. 49 of the Beardsley-Hankey samples fell into this category, with responses from 16 states of the USA. B. Stories where the hitch-hiker is an old woman who prophesies disaster or the end of World War II; subsequent inquiries likewise reveal her to be deceased. Nine of the samples fit this description, and eight of these came from the vicinity of Chicago. Beardsley and Hankey felt that this indicated a local origin, which they dated to approximately 1933: two of the version B hitchhikers in this sample foretold disaster at the Century of Progress Exposition and another foresaw calamity "at the World's Fair". The strict topicality of these unsuccessful forecasts did not appear to thwart the appearance of further Version 'B' hitch-hikers, one of whom warned that Northerly Island, in Lake Michigan, would soon be submerged (this never happened). C. Stories where a girl is met at some place of entertainment, e.g., dance, instead of on the road; she leaves some token (often the overcoat she borrowed from the motorist) on her grave by way of corroborating the experience and her identity. The uniformity amongst separate accounts of this variant led Beardsley and Hankey to strongly doubt its folkloric authenticity. D. Stories where the hitch-hiker is later identified as a local divinity. Beardsley and Hankey were particularly interested to note one instance (location: Kingston, New York, 1941) in which the vanishing hitchhiker was subsequently identified as the late Mother Cabrini, founder of the local Sacred Heart Orphanage, who was beatified for her work. The authors felt that this was a case of Version 'B' glimpsed in transition to Version 'D'. Beardsley and Hankey concluded that Version 'A' was closest to the original form of the story, containing the essential elements of the legend. Version 'B' and 'D', they believed, were localized variations, while 'C' was supposed to have started life as a separate ghost story which at some stage became conflated with the original vanishing hitchhiker story (Version 'A'). One of their conclusions certainly seems reflected in the continuation of vanishing hitchhiker stories: The hitchhiker is, in the majority of cases, female and the lift-giver male. Beardsley and Hankey's sample contained 47 young female apparitions, 14 old lady apparitions, and 14 more of an indeterminate sort. Baughman's telling: Ernest W. Baughman's Type- and Motif-Index of the Folk Tales of England and North America (1966) delineates the basic vanishing hitchhiker as follows: "Ghost of young woman asks for ride in automobile, disappears from closed car without the driver's knowledge, after giving him an address to which she wishes to be taken. The driver asks person at the address about the rider, finds she has been dead for some time. (Often the driver finds that the ghost has made similar attempts to return, usually on the anniversary of death in automobile accident. Often, too, the ghost leaves some item such as a scarf or traveling bag in the car.)" Baughman's classification system grades this basic story as motif E332.3.3.1. Subcategories include: E332.3.3.1(a) for vanishing hitchhikers who reappear on anniversaries; E332.3.3.1(b) for vanishing hitchhikers who leave items in vehicles, unless the item is a pool of water in which case it is E332.3.3.1(c); E332.3.3.1(d) is for accounts of sinister old ladies who prophesy disasters; E332.3.3.1(e) contains accounts of phantoms who are apparently sufficiently solid to engage in activities such as eating or drinking during their journey; E332.3.3.1(f) is for phantom parents who want to be taken to the sickbed of their dying son; E332.3.3.1(g) is for hitchhikers simply requesting a lift home; E332.3.3.1(h-j) are a category reserved exclusively for vanishing nuns (a surprisingly common variant), some of whom foretell the future. Here, the phenomenon blends into religious encounters, with the next and last vanishing hitchhiker classification - E332.3.3.2 - being for encounters with divinities who take to the road as hitchhikers. The legend of St. Christopher is considered one of these, and the story of Philip the Evangelist being transported by God after encountering the Ethiopian on the road (Acts 8:26-39) is sometimes similarly interpreted. Skeptical reception: Paranormal researcher Michael Goss in his book The Evidence for Phantom Hitch-Hikers discovered that many reports of vanishing hitch-hikers turn out be based on folklore and hearsay stories. Goss also examined some cases and attributed them to hallucination of the experiencer. According to Goss most of the stories are "fabricated, folklore creations retold in new settings." Skeptical investigator Joe Nickell who investigated two alleged cases himself concluded that there is no reliable evidence for vanishing hitch-hikers. Historical examples have their origin from folklore tales and urban legends. Modern cases often involve conflicting accounts that may well be the result of exaggeration, illusion or hoaxing.

Killer in the backseat

The Killer in the Backseat (also known as High Beams) is a common, car-crime urban legend well known mostly in the United States and United Kingdom. It was first noted by folklorist Carlos Drake in 1968 in texts collected by Indiana University students. Legend goes a woman who is driving and being followed by a strange car or truck. The mysterious pursuer flashes his high beams, tailgates her, and sometimes even rams her vehicle. When she finally makes it home, she realizes that the driver was trying to warn her that there was a man (a murderer, rapist, or escaped mental patient) hiding in her back seat. Each time the man sat up to attack her, the driver behind had used his high beams to scare the killer, in which he ducks down. In some versions, the woman stops for gas, and the attendant asks her to come inside to sort out a problem with her credit card. Inside the station, he asks if she knows there's a man in her back seat. (An example of this rendition can be seen in the 1998 episode of Millennium, "The Pest House".) In another, she sees a doll on the road in the moors, stops, and then the man gets in the back. Interpretations of the story: The story is often told with a moral. The attendant is often a lumberjack, a trucker, or a scary-looking man: someone the driver mistrusts without reason. She assumes it is the attendant who wants to do her harm, when in reality it is he who saves her life. In popular culture: -The 1998 film Urban Legend begins with this scenario. -John Carpenter's 1978 film Halloween has the character Annie Brackett killed when she enters the car and the killer Michael Myers sneaks up from behind the back seat and slashes her throat. -The first segment, "Terror in Topanga," of the 1983 film Nightmares is a depiction of this legend. -An episode of the detective series Jonathan Creek, "The Coonskin Cap", begins with a version of this legend, except that instead of a killer inside the car, the pursuing driver is trying to alert the woman that there is a body tied to the back of her car. -In a 1998 episode of Millennium, "The Pest House", Frank Black chases a doctor from a mental hospital after one of its patients escapes into the back of her car and tries to kill her. When she pulls over at a gas station, the attendant saves her by taking her inside. -The 2003 Tamil film from India, Whistle, begins with this scenario. -The story is featured in the television show Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction. -The story is featured in an episode of The Simpsons when Otto tells Lisa the legend as a bedtime story. In his version, the victim is chased by another car that keeps ramming her vehicle, and she drives off the road into the woods and loses the other car. She is then killed by an axe-wielding maniac who had been hiding in her backseat. -In the 2015 episode of Scream Queens, Ghost Stories, Chanel #5 (played by Abigail Breslin) is driving and a truck starts honking at her and using his high beams. When she pulls over at a petrol station, he tells her about the Red-Devil (the murderer), lurking in her back seat but then he is stabbed by it while #5 makes her escape.


Last summer I nearly got 2 family members to come to a why I believe. My mom was like "don't be offended if they say no". I'm like "why would I be offended? This is amazing they're possibly considering it."

Thursday, December 21, 2017

The Hook

The Hook or The Hookman is an urban legend about a killer with a hook for a hand attacking a couple in a parked car. The story is thought to date from at least the mid-1950s, and gained significant attention when it was reprinted in the advice column Dear Abby in 1960. It has since become a morality archetype in popular culture, and has been referenced in various horror films. Legend goes a young couple parking at a lovers' lane. The radio plays while they make out. Suddenly, a news bulletin reports that a serial killer has just escaped from a nearby institution. The killer has a hook for one of his hands. For varying reasons, they decide to leave quickly. In the end, the killer's hook is found hanging from the door handle. Different variations include a scraping sound on the car door. Some versions start the same way, but have the couple spotting the killer, warning others, and then narrowly escaping with the killer holding onto the car's roof. In an alternate version, the couple drive through an unknown part of the country late at night and stop in the middle of the woods, because either the male has to relieve himself, or the car breaks down and the man leaves for help. While waiting for him to return, the female turns on the radio and hears the report of an escaped mental patient. She is then disturbed many times by a thumping on the roof of the car. She eventually exits and sees the escaped patient sitting on the roof, banging the male's severed head on it. Another variation has the female seeing the male's butchered body suspended upside down from a tree with his fingers scraping the roof. In other versions the man does return to the car only to see his date brutally murdered with a hook imbedded in her. The origins of the Hook legend are not entirely known, though, according to folklorist and historian Jan Harold Brunvand, the story began to circulate some time in the 1950s in the United States. According to Brunvand in The Vanishing Hitchhiker: American Urban Legends and Their Meanings, the story had become widespread amongst American teenagers by 1959, and continued to expand into the 1960s. The first known publication of the story occurred on November 8, 1960, when a reader letter telling the story was reprinted in Dear Abby, a popular advice column: Dear Abby: If you are interested in teenagers, you will print this story. I don't know whether it's true or not, but it doesn't matter because it served its purpose for me: A fellow and his date pulled into their favorite "lovers lane" to listen to the radio and do a little necking. The music was interrupted by an announcer who said there was an escaped convict in the area who had served time for rape and robbery. He was described as having a hook instead of a right hand. The couple become frightened and drove away. When the boy took his girl home, he went around to open the car door for her. Then he saw—a hook on the door handle! I will never park to make out as long as I live. I hope this does the same for other kids. —Jeanette Literary scholar Christopher Pittard traces the plot dynamics of the legend to Victorian literature, particularly the 1913 horror novel The Lodger by Marie Adelaide Belloc Lowndes. Though the two narratives have little in common, he notes that both are built upon a "threefold relationship of crime, dirt, and chance... Such a reading also implies a reconsideration of the historical trajectory of the urban legend, usually read as a product of postmodernist consumer culture." Interpretations of the story: Folklorists have interpreted the long history of this legend in many ways. Alan Dundes's Freudian interpretation explains the hook as a phallic symbol and its amputation as a symbolic castration. Swedish folklorist Bengt af Klintberg describes the story as an example of "a conflict between representatives of normal people who follow the rules of society and those who are not normal, who deviate and threaten the normal group." American folklorist Bill Ellis interpreted the maniac in The Hook as a moral custodian who interrupts the sexual experimentation of the young couple. He sees the Hookman's handicap as "his own lack of sexuality" and "the threat of the Hookman is not the normal sex drive of teenagers, but the abnormal drive of some adults to keep them apart." Influences on film: The Hook legend has most often been depicted and referenced in horror films. Its prevalence, according to film scholar Mark Kermode, is most reflected in the slasher film, functioning as a morality archetype on youth sexuality. In Meatballs, Bill Murray's character retells the Hook legend to campers around a campfire. He Knows You're Alone opens with a film within a film scene in which a young couple are attacked by a killer while in a parked car. The slasher film Final Exam opens with a scene in which a couple are attacked in a parked car, and later, a student is murdered in a university locker room with a hook.[ Campfire Tales, an anthology horror film, opens with a segment retelling the Hook legend, set in the 1950s. I Know What You Did Last Summer features a killer stalking teenagers with a hook; at the beginning of the film, the central characters recount the Hook legend around a campfire. Lovers Lane, is a slasher film featuring a killer who murders teenagers at a lovers' lane with a hook.


i'm super happy. i passed my exams, i got to "hang out" with friends the last couple days and am excited to see my family over the holidays. yay

Wednesday, December 20, 2017


I ran into a friend from church today. I helped her out and she'd "entertained" me for a half hour. Or as I call it kept me busy. She felt bad she had to "ditch me". Again I'm fine as my mom's work wasn't that far. Plus I wanted to get coffee


My hair is in a bun. Its nice since I can tie it up and its out of my face.

freaked out

what i would've done if a friend and i kissed. especially since i like his brother.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

i can't believe it

many people in my family are super interested in my religion despite me thinking it was a cult a few years ago. also many are interested in the temples as well as the baptisms for the dead. wow. i'm glad they're accepting of it somewhat but not accepting a baptism quite yet

bipolar weather

in Maryland winter and spring are often bipolar. meaning it could be "spring" 1 day and then "winter" the next.


My visiting teachers gave me cookies but accidentally dropped it off at the wrong home

Monday, December 18, 2017

california and hawaii

2 places i'm visiting over the holidays that i love. i love California since i have family over there as well as i just love the huge state. i love Hawaii because it's a tropical paradise.


i've got fear of the unknown caused by my anxiety disorder. my family has no idea suffer an anxiety disorder. it's common enough that there's a Wikipedia page dedicated to the subject. my panic this time around is my blood sugar being super high and being yelled at before i have a chance to explain myself, which explains that.

take life as it comes and work with what i got

my philosophy is I've got to take life as it comes and work with what I've got. i never intended to join the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints ever but i did. I've also got to work with what I've got. I've inherited scoliosis and diabetes from my mom. now I've got to "work" with those limitations.

gah why me?

my family is so into my religion but i don't think they'll be baptized. the reason i think they're into it is because the holy spirit is softening their hearts. yay my family is having their hearts softened. why me?


my favorite color at this point in time


i'm nearly blind without my glasses. i needed a guide dog for the first few months but i was able to get around eventually. when i was being baptized i needed a "guide dog" again since i didn't know where i'm going and i could barely see.

Sunday, December 17, 2017

hot cocoa

i'm going to make some hot cocoa. i need something warm before bed and it's tasty.


a no-no in the church i go to but something that "helps me feel the spirit". my brother and i have an interest in coffee and despite me lying to the fact that i'd stop drinking coffee on my interview I've cut down significantly. especially since it induces back pain.

sit with me

a friend sat with me despite me being comfortable sitting solo.


a friend was sad i didn't have a dance recital for my dance class despite it being intro to dance. i would've LOVED a dance recital.

double edged sword

my best/ worst quality is my loyalty. why it's awesome is because i'm willing to drop things for my friends. the reason it's bad is because i could potentially be in the middle of something when i'm dropping everything.

Saturday, December 16, 2017


so a friend asked me to have my number gotten. they asked me to have my number so we could "hang out." it's awesome but ok since i'm friends with them.

blood sugar

my blood sugar has been super high lately. likely due to my periods and the hormones associated with it. also due to my diet is why my blood sugar is high. i'm lucky it hasn't been out of control. it's been high but not super out of control.

Friday, December 15, 2017

wing it

that's what i didn't do during my talk and what i did for a speech in communications class once.

personal carrying case

during my grandpa's funeral my brothers used my bag (which is a large black tote bag) as their personal carrying case. i'm glad to be of service but it's also my bag and i should use it as i want

Thursday, December 14, 2017


someone asked if i wanted to get more involved in my religion. an unlikely someone. someone who thought my religion was cult like. my brother used to think my religion was cult like but recently got nicer about it. likely because his ex-girlfriend's grandparents are mormon


i must've done something to my family since they are now interested in my religion and i'm the only exposure to my religion they have usually.

no way

if you had told me 3 years ago i'd be giving a talk as a baptized member of the church of jesus christ of latter day saints i'd've said you were crazy

Wednesday, December 13, 2017


if my dad had called me i'd be like "daddy. everything that comes out of my mouth on my end goes thru the mike so everyone can hear me talk to you."


my home teacher says she knows what to give me for christmas


what it would've been had i had signs to help guide me during my talk. also what it would've been like if i had gotten a text from a family member during my talk. or a phone call.


i can't wait for my finals to be over with. my back hurts and i can't wait to relax.

Monday, December 11, 2017


i drank diet soda that helped my tummy since i'm sick.


i don't have school until Thursday. it's awesome since i can work on my stuff for school

Sunday, December 10, 2017

panic disorder

while i have a panic disorder i'm able to somewhat able manage it behind closed doors.


i was walking to CVS today after church and i was offered a ride. that was awesome since i was planning on walking.

made me laugh

someone made me smile this morning while i was talking with the bishop. he made me smile by mentioning getting a DJ for the party. the reason that made me smile was because the guy was mentioning stuff for little kids and i was amused.


if i'd had friends come while i was doing my talk i would've had to write on paper "go that way" with an arrow pointing to the door.

fun yet annoying

the snow was awesome yesterday but since i had to go out to a meeting it was annnoying.

Saturday, December 9, 2017

venture out

i'm going to have to venture out of the house. luckily the snow isn't sticking.


Well the snow didn't happen as planned. Oh well

Friday, December 8, 2017

Sore throat

I've got a sore throat. Not sure why. I've not been around contagious people and my allergies have been in check since October.


I heard it was supposed to snow tomorrow. Let's keep our fingers crossed that it does. More than 2 inches


i went somewhere and i was like "i've been in this city a LOT. why have i never noticed this before?"

that would be beautiful

whenever i mention about going on a mission it would usually be followed by "that would be beautiful." more like scary, crazy and silly.

Thursday, December 7, 2017


My talk was painful since I hated public speaking. Especially in front of all my friends and family. Another reason it was so painful was because everyone wanted to help me as well as giving me support. For once in my life I've wanted to be invisible but that's never going to happen. I'm glad I did it and I should have gotten extra credit for actually public speaking.

stress induced panic attacks

my panic attacks are now made worse since i'm stressed out. they won't go away till next Thursday since that's the day I've got to do everything by. not fun since i'm panicking. i'll be ok.

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

freezing winter

it's not even a week into december and i've got wear my slippers in the evening. it'll be cold soon


i offered to posthumously baptize my grand-dad, which my dad and uncle declined. it would offer him a place in Mormonism. i wasn't surprised that my family said no. oddly that was my brother's idea who thought Mormonism was a cult

Tuesday, December 5, 2017


i'm more relaxed. i'm listening to music and have eaten.

see me dance

my communications teacher wanted to see me dance. it wasn't for a while after her class ended


stress makes me upset. i don't like it so i usually cry.


coffee always calms me down. i love it. the hot liquid makes me happy just to smell it.

stressed out

i'm so stressed out it's like i'm about to have a mental break down. my grandfather died on Sunday, my finals are next week, I've got to work on a group project as well as study for my finals as well as go to a funeral all this week. also to top it off my mom is trying to get me to be more independent by being super bus crazy (meaning my mom is super bus crazy trying to get me to use the buses more, which i'm not against i'm just saying that's way too much considering what I've got on my plate).

Monday, December 4, 2017

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Parabon NanoLabs

Parabon NanoLabs, Inc. is a company based in Reston, Virginia, which provides DNA phenotyping services for law enforcement organizations. History: Parabon NanoLabs was founded in 2008 by Steven Armentrout, who is currently its chief executive. Products- Snapshot: Snapshot DNA Phenotyping Service is the name of a DNA phenotyping tool developed by Parabon NanoLabs which creates composite sketches based on DNA samples The algorithms used to make the composites are not open source, however, which has attracted criticism from members of the scientific community. Moses Schanfield, professor of forensic sciences at George Washington University, criticized the lack of any peer review, noting that there is no publicly-available performance record for the product. The United States Department of Defense provided approximately $2,000,000 in development financing for Snapshot. Keystone: Parabon NanoLabs was awarded a two-year contract by the United States Department of Defense to develop a software platform dubbed 'Keystone' for the forensic analysis of DNA evidence.

Friday, December 1, 2017


give me forensic science or sushi and i'll be happy. i'm not that hard to please.

dirty glasses

my glasses are so dirty that 1 of the only times my glasses were clean for a long period of time was my baptism


my favorite food. i love it