Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Ah great

I'm stuck in a high schoolers body potentially for the next decade or so. It's so annoying. Especially since I'd mentioned having a birthday a couple weeks ago they thought I'd be 16-19 years old. Wow.

Monday, February 26, 2018

Sunday, February 25, 2018


i'm very silly. i'm less silly now than when i was in high school.

baggy pajamas

my clothes are baggy. that's in part due to my weight and becoming more muscular due to dancing.


i've been coughing a ton and it never seems to ease up. i'm allergic to pollen and rarely get sick but this is ridiculous.

Disappearance of Debbie Blair

Debbie Blair is a Canadian woman who disappeared in Cypress Provincial Park, West Vancouver, British Columbia, while hiking on September 29, 2016 with a group of friends. Her whereabouts are not known. The missing person investigation by the West Vancouver Police remains open and active. Meanwhile, ground and air search operations in the area which features unforgiving mountain terrain, have been suspended by the North Shore Rescue on October 2, 2016 due in part to bad weather conditions. Disappearance: Debbie Blair, age 65, went missing around noontime on a warm and sunny Thursday, September 29, 2016 while hiking with her regular Vancouver daytime hiking club along the Baden-Powel Trail toward Eagle Bluffs (1094 m elevation) in Cypress Provincial Park; one hour drive north-west of downtown Vancouver. She was last seen by the group members hiking in front of others, in the area of the Donut Rock Trail junction of the Black Mountain. She has not been seen since. Search: The search for Blair by the North Shore Rescue began on the same evening and continued until 1:30 am with nighttime temperatures hovering not far above freezing. The search resumed at 8:00 am Friday morning and continued throughout the day. Human tracks were found near Dick Creek. After yet another very cold night, there was a heavy rain on Cypress in the early hours of Saturday, October 1, 2016. The NSR search team was made up of around 50 volunteer personnel from Surrey, Lions' Bay and Coquitlam SAR, aided by West Vancouver Police and the Abbotsford Police Dog Service. Multiple helicopters equipped with Forward-Looking-Infrared (FLIR) scanners were also deployed. Search operations have been suspended on Sunday, October 2, 2016 without finding any confirmed sign of Debbie Blair. Aftermath: The North Shore Rescue and West Vancouver Police informed the public that the search for Debbie Blair would remain inactive subject to receipt of any new information. The missing person investigation however, is still open. Police requested anyone who believes they saw her since September 29, 2016 to call them. Blair is described as a Caucasian woman, 160 cm (5'4") tall, weighting approximately 59 kg (130 lbs) with short, grey hair. Several theories and counter-theories have been proposed since September 29, 2016 to explain Debbie's demise. One theory is that she was suffering from undiagnosed Alzheimer's and is hard of hearing. Another theory is that she was unprepared for a worst-case scenario, possibly wearing a T-shirt without a jacket although this has not been confirmed by her group members. It is likely that she stepped off the path for privacy in difficult terrain without leaving a bag on the trail perpendicular to where she was in order to alert a slower group walking behind her; she then failed to return to the same spot herself.

red letter day

today was a big day. i gave 2 prayers in church this morning. i'm surprised this happened since i'm usually silent during prayer.

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Theresa Knorr

i just got into learning a ton about her. she's seriously messed up. Theresa Jimmie Francine Knorr (née Cross) is an American woman convicted of torturing and murdering two of her six children while using the others to facilitate and cover up her crimes. She is currently serving two consecutive life sentences at the California Institution for Women in Chino, California. Early life: Knorr was born in Sacramento, California. She was the younger of two daughters born to Swannie Gay (née Myers) and James "Jim" Cross. Swannie Cross had a son and a daughter from a previous marriage. Jim Cross worked as an assistant cheese maker at a local dairy. He eventually saved up enough money to buy a house in Rio Linda, California. In the late 1950s he was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease which forced him to quit his job. He developed depression and reportedly took his frustrations and anger out on his family. Swannie Cross kept the family afloat financially. Theresa was reportedly very close to her mother and was devastated when she died of congestive heart failure in March 1961. Thereafter, unable to keep the family home, Jim Cross sold it. Marriages: On September 29, 1962, 16-year-old Theresa married Clifford Clyde Sanders, a man five years her senior whom she had met a few months prior. Immediately she dropped out of high school and became pregnant, and on July 16, 1963, she gave birth to her first child, Howard Clyde Sanders. The Sanders' marriage was rocky as Theresa was possessive and repeatedly accused Sanders of infidelity. The couple argued frequently and on June 22, 1964, Theresa claimed that Sanders had punched her in the face during one such argument. Theresa reported the incident to police but refused to press charges against Sanders. The assault charges were subsequently dropped. On July 6, 1964, the day after Sanders' birthday, the couple were arguing because Sanders had spent his birthday out with friends instead of at home. During the argument, Sanders informed Theresa that he was leaving her. Theresa became enraged and shot Sanders in the back with a rifle as he was walking out the door. Theresa was arrested and charged with Sanders' murder, to which she pleaded not guilty claiming she was acting in self-defense. During her trial, Theresa, who was pregnant with her second child, claimed that she had shot Sanders because he was a violent alcoholic who physically abused her. Several of Sanders' relatives testified that Sanders was not violent or abusive while the prosecution claimed that Theresa killed Sanders "maliciously" and "without provocation." Theresa's older sister also testified stating that Theresa was possessive and jealous and "would kill him (Sanders) before any other woman could have him." She was acquitted of Sanders' murder on September 22, 1964. Theresa gave birth to her second child, Sheila Gay Sanders, on March 16, 1965. After Sheila's birth, Theresa began drinking heavily. She regularly drank at the local American Legion Hall where she met Estelle Lee Thornsberry, a disabled United States Army veteran. The two began a relationship and eventually moved in together. During the relationship, Theresa would routinely leave her children with Thornsberry while she went out drinking. Thornsberry began to question Theresa when she stayed out for days at a time and ended the relationship a few months later after he discovered that she was having an affair with his best friend. Shortly after the relationship with Thornsberry ended, Theresa met and began a relationship with a United States Marine private named Robert Knorr. She soon became pregnant and the couple married on July 9, 1966. Knorr's third child, Suesan Marline Knorr, was born on September 27, 1966. The couple had three more children. Theresa and Robert Knorr's marriage began to deteriorate after Theresa began accusing her husband of having affairs. Fed up with Theresa's constant accusations, Knorr left her in June 1969 and was granted a divorce in 1970. After the divorce, Robert Knorr attempted to see his children but Theresa prevented him from doing so. Theresa Knorr would marry twice more; in 1971, she married railroad worker Ronald Pulliam. That marriage began to fall apart when Knorr began leaving her children with Pulliam while she stayed out all night drinking and partying. He divorced her in 1972 after he became convinced that she was having an extramarital affair. Her final marriage was to Sacramento Union copy editor Chester "Chet" Harris, whom she married in August 1976. Knorr's daughter Suesan grew close to Harris which made Knorr jealous. She filed for divorce from Harris in November 1976 after she reportedly found out that Harris enjoyed taking consensual nude photographs of women. Child abuse: Knorr was physically, verbally, and psychologically abusive towards her children. After her fourth divorce, her alcoholism and abusive behavior escalated, and she also gained a tremendous amount of weight and became quick-tempered and reclusive. She disconnected the home phone and would not allow the children to have visitors. Knorr and her children lived in Orangevale, California for many years before moving into a two-bedroom apartment in Sacramento; Knorr's eldest son Howard reportedly left home before the move to Sacramento. According to neighbors, the apartment was filthy and smelled of urine. Neighbors also noticed that the children, whom Knorr never let go outside, seemed fearful, nervous and high-strung. For years, Knorr abused and tortured her children in various ways including beating them, force-feeding them, burning them with cigarettes, and throwing knives at them. She made her children hold each other down while she beat and tortured them. In one instance, she held a pistol to her youngest daughter Terry's head and threatened to kill her. Knorr primarily focused her anger and abuse on Terry's older sisters, Suesan and Sheila. In an interview, Terry said her mother resented that Suesan and Sheila were maturing and blossoming into attractive young women while she faced the prospect of losing her looks as she aged. Knorr also believed that her fourth husband, Chet Harris, had turned Suesan into a witch, so Suesan received the worst of Knorr's abuse. After one severe beating, Suesan ran away from home. She was picked up by police and placed in a psychiatric hospital where she told staff that her mother abused her. Knorr denied the abuse claims and told the hospital staff that Suesan had mental issues. Authorities did not investigate the matter further and released Suesan back into her mother's custody. Knorr punished Suesan for running away by beating her while wearing a pair of leather gloves. She also forced her other children to take turns beating their sister. In the subsequent weeks, Knorr handcuffed Suesan to her bed and ordered her other children to stand watch over her. Knorr refused to let Suesan leave the house and forced her to drop out of school. Knorr also pulled her other children out of school, and most of them never advanced past the eighth grade. Suesan's death: In 1982, Knorr became convinced that Suesan was casting spells on her to cause her to gain weight. Suesan denied doing so but Knorr became angry and shot Suesan in the chest with a 22-caliber pistol. The bullet became lodged in her back, but Knorr refused to allow Suesan to seek medical attention and left her for dead in the family bathtub. Suesan survived. So Knorr began to nurse her back to health and allowed her other daughters to aid Suesan as well. Suesan eventually recovered without receiving professional medical treatment. In July 1984, Knorr and Suesan got into another argument during which Knorr stabbed her daughter in the back with a pair of scissors. Knorr again refused to allow Suesan medical treatment. A few weeks after the stabbing, Suesan, fed up with the abuse, decided to move to Alaska. Knorr agreed to let her go under the condition that Suesan allow her to remove the bullet from her back so it could not be used as evidence in the event that Suesan reported the abuse. Suesan reluctantly agreed. Knorr gave Suesan Mellaril capsules and liquor as an anesthetic which caused Suesan to pass out. While Suesan was unconscious, Knorr ordered her then 15-year-old son Robert to remove the bullet with an X-Acto knife. Suesan awoke the following day in immense pain. Over the following days, she developed septicemia and became delirious. Knorr attempted to treat her with ibuprofen and antibiotics. The treatments were ineffective and Suesan's condition continued to decline. On July 16, 1984, Knorr packed all of Suesan's belongings in trash bags and, after binding Suesan's arms and legs and placing duct tape over her mouth, ordered her sons Robert and William to put Suesan in their car. They drove her to Squaw Valley where Robert and William placed her on the side of the road on top of the bags containing her belongings. Knorr then doused Suesan and the bags in gasoline and lit the girl on fire. Suesan's still smoldering body was found the following day. An autopsy determined that she was still alive when she was lit on fire. Due to the state of the remains, a positive identification was never made and Suesan was classified as Jane Doe #4873/84. Sheila's death: Following Suesan's death, Theresa Knorr began directing the majority of her anger and abuse towards her daughter Sheila. In May 1985, Knorr forced Sheila into prostitution to support the family. Knorr did not work and received money from the state of California. Knorr was initially pleased with this arrangement due to the large amounts of money Sheila was earning and allowed Sheila to leave the house whenever she pleased. After a few weeks, Knorr became angry and accused Sheila of being pregnant and contracting a sexually transmitted disease which Knorr claimed she caught from Sheila via a toilet seat. Sheila initially denied the accusations. So Knorr beat her, hog tied her and locked her in a hot closet with no ventilation. Knorr forbade her other children to give Sheila food or water or to open the door to the closet. Terry Knorr disobeyed her mother and gave Sheila a beer. Terry Knorr later said, "She (Theresa) wanted Sheila to confess. That was mother's way. Beat them until they confess." To end the punishment, Sheila confessed to being pregnant and having an STD but Knorr would not let her out of the closet claiming that Sheila was lying. Sheila died three days later, on June 21, 1985, of dehydration and starvation. Knorr left Sheila's body in the closet for an additional three days before discovering that Sheila was dead. Once again, Knorr ordered her sons William and Robert to dispose of Sheila's body which had begun to decompose causing an odorous smell that filled the apartment. The boys placed Sheila's body in a cardboard box which they disposed of near the airport in Truckee, California. Sheila's body was discovered a few hours after it had been disposed of but was never positively identified and was classified as Jane Doe #6607-85. Even though Sheila's body had been removed from the closet, the smell of decomposition still lingered in the apartment. Knorr became concerned that the smell and physical evidence in the closet could implicate her in Sheila's death. On September 29, 1986, Knorr moved the family's belongings out of the home and ordered her youngest daughter Terry to burn down the apartment in an effort to destroy any physical evidence. During the night, Terry Knorr dumped three containers of lighter fluid on the apartment floor and set it on fire. The fire did little damage as neighbors quickly reported the fire before it spread. The closet in which Sheila died was not damaged. After Knorr's arrest, investigators were able to remove the subfloor from the closet to test it for physical evidence. After leaving the Sacramento apartment, Knorr went into hiding. Her surviving children, who were by then of legal age, severed their ties with their mother. Knorr's youngest child, 16-year-old Terry, also left her mother's care and used Sheila's identification card to pass herself off as a legal adult. The only child to remain with Knorr was Robert, Jr. who was then 19 years old. Knorr and Robert, Jr. moved to Las Vegas and attempted to keep a low profile. In November 1991, Robert Knorr, Jr. was arrested after he fatally shot a bartender in a Las Vegas bar during an attempted robbery. He was sentenced to 16 years in prison. Shortly after Robert, Jr.'s arrest, Knorr left Las Vegas and relocated to Salt Lake City. Arrests and convictions: After escaping from her mother, Terry Knorr attempted to report her sisters' murders to the Utah police but they dismissed her stories as fiction as did a therapist she visited. On October 28, 1993, Terry Knorr contacted America's Most Wanted, who asked her to contact detectives in Placer County, California (the county in which Suesan's body was found) who took her claims seriously and followed up with an investigation. The detectives linked the two Jane Does found in the area in 1984 and 1985 to Terry Knorr's detailed stories of her sisters' deaths and concluded that she was telling the truth. Knorr's son William was arrested on November 4, 1993 in Woodland, California where he had been living and working. Robert Knorr, Jr. was charged with his sisters' murders while he was serving a 16-year sentence in an Ely, Nevada prison for the 1991 murder of a Las Vegas bartender. On November 10, 1993, Theresa Knorr was arrested at her home in Salt Lake City. At the time of her arrest, Knorr was using her maiden name of "Cross" and was working as a caretaker for her landlord's 86-year-old mother. On November 15, 1993, Knorr was charged with two counts of murder, two counts of conspiracy to commit murder, and two special circumstances charges: multiple murder and murder by torture. Knorr initially pled not guilty but then made a deal with the prosecution after learning that her son Robert, Jr. agreed to testify against her in exchange for a reduced sentence. She pleaded guilty on the condition that she be spared the death penalty. On October 17, 1995, Knorr was sentenced to two consecutive life sentences. She is incarcerated at California Institution for Women in Chino, California. She will be eligible for parole in 2027. William Knorr was sentenced to probation and ordered to undergo therapy for participating in his sister Sheila's murder. In exchange for his testimony, the prosecution dropped all charges against Robert Knorr, Jr. save for one count of being an accessory-after-the-fact in relation to Sheila's murder. Robert Knorr, Jr. pleaded guilty to the charge and was sentenced to three years in prison which was served concurrently with his 16-year sentence for the unrelated 1991 murder of a Las Vegas bartender. Aftermath: Following Knorr's arrest, police decided to reopen the murder case of her sister, Rosemary Norris. Norris was found strangled at the end of a dead end road in Placer County in 1983 after she went grocery shopping in Sacramento. Police later determined that Knorr was not involved in Norris' death. After moving out of her mother's home, Terry Knorr married twice and eventually moved to Sandy, Utah, where she lived with her second husband. She worked as a grocery store cashier in the same neighborhood where her mother also lived and worked before her arrest. Theresa and Terry apparently did not know they lived in close proximity and had no contact. Terry Knorr died in Saint Joseph, Missouri in December 2011. In popular culture: The 2010 horror film The Afflicted, which is also titled Another American Crime is loosely based on the Theresa Knorr case. The film follows the real-life events through a substantially-compressed timeline. Unlike the real case, the movie ends with the youngest daughter killing her mother and one of her brothers before committing suicide. The murders were profiled on the A&E series Cold Case Files, featuring an exclusive interview with Terry Knorr Walker. The case was also profiled on the series Most Evil, Wicked Attraction and Deadly Women. Details of Knorr's crimes are mentioned in Nicole Dollanganger's song, "In The Land," off of her album Natural Born Losers in 2015.


when i "resurfaced" in the singles ward after 5 weeks of being MIA i'd explained where i was to a friend who works in a tutoring center.


i sometimes watch the amazing atheist in the LDS church and laugh at the videos. he's freaking hilarious.

cheer me up

when i lost my grand-dad last December every effort was made to try cheering me and my brothers up. i was affected especially since i'd lost all my grandparents. i was dragged to church, made to watch a Christmas devotional and read a funny LDS comic. i had frequent crying bouts and being spacy since i'd lost him. luckily i was given a break.

Friday, February 23, 2018

Disappearance of Najeeb Ahmed

Najeeb Ahmed is a missing first year M.Sc Biotechnology student of Jawaharlal Nehru University, in New Delhi, India who has been missing under suspicious circumstances since 15 October 2016 from his college campus. Disappearance: Najeeb Ahmed was a newly enrolled student at JNU and he had resided in the JNU campus for hardly one week when he disappeared. The last time that anyone has seen or heard from Najeeb is in the JNU campus. It was reported that he was being treated for depression and Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) before his disappearance, according to the prescriptions found in his hostel room. Investigation and aftermath: The Vasant Kunj Police had filed an FIR for kidnapping and wrongful confinement based on Najeeb's parents complaint. Numerous searches by Delhi Police have turned up nothing in Najeeb's disappearance. A reward of ₹100,000 (US$1,600) has been issued for any information leading to the whereabouts of Najeeb by the Delhi Police. A Special Investigating Team (SIT) of Delhi police is now investigating the case. Jawaharlal Nehru University JNU issued a 25-point bulletin on Najeeb without mentioning of brawl a night before. The JNU Teachers' Association (JNUTA) blamed the administration for their apathy and bias in handling the issue. JNUTA has also criticized the 25-points bulletin released by the university " 'selectively omitting' the fact that Ahmed was attacked during a brawl a night before". Najeeb Ahmed's mother Fatima Nafees also accused the JNU administration of insensitivity. On 23 October 2016, JNU students protested and blocked the Administration Building for 20 hours. It was reported that there was an attempt on Najeeb's life. It was also reported that Najeeb might have moved to a small town to live in anonymity. In August 2017 students and family members protested outside the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI) headquarters to protest the lack of progress in the case. The Delhi High Court also reprimanded the CBI for lodging the same status report as they had lodged previously.

Zelim Bakaev

Zelimkhan Khoussainovich Bakaevis a Russian Chechen singer. He disappeared in Chechnya on 8 August 2017, while on a brief visit to the region to attend his sister's wedding. He is widely believed to have been abducted, tortured, and murdered by the Chechen authorities as part of their systematic persecution of homosexuals. Career: Zelim Bakaev (sometimes Bakayev) was born to Khoussain and Malika Bakaev in Grozny, the capital of the Chechen Republic. Passionate about music, he began singing at a young age in Chechnya. He worked for a year and a half at the Department of Culture of the Grozny Mayor's Office, and became a one of the soloists of the song and dance ensemble "Stolitsa" (in Russian, Столица) and performed concerts in Chechnya and other North Caucasian republics. His repertoire included songs in Chechen language and in Russian. He became popular particularly in Chechnya, Ingushetia, Dagestan and eventually in Russia.[2] In 2013, he took part in the annual Vainakh Awards for upcoming artists. His big break came with singles like "Мичахь хьо лела безам", "Доьхна Дог" and "Нана" ("Nana" in English) and in collaboration with Elbika Jamaldinova hits "Не хватает тебя" (Miss You) and "Без тебя" (Without You). He also cooperated with the producer Gilany Stadnik and was managed by Leila Vakhayeva. In 2017, Bakaev applied for casting in the Russian version of Star Academy called Fabrika Zvyozd in its 10th season. The series was to start in September 2017 on the Russian television chain Muz-TV. Disappearance: On 6 August 2017, Bakaev travelled to Grozny to attend his sister's wedding. He was due back in Moscow few days later as he was scheduled to take part in a Russian musical contest on August 10. On August 8, he was reportedly arrested by Special Rapid Deployment (SOBR) security forces, this according to two eyewitnesses as they recounted to Dozhd TV. Bakaev's cellular phone was also disactivated the same day. Speculations ran that his arrest was for suspicion of being gay. Chechnyan authorities had declared an anti-LGBT campaign with many reports of persecution of homosexuals in the country. Bakaev had been previously forbidden from any public appearance in Chechnya. Bakaev's mother Malika and his aunt received a message that Bakaev had "left" Chechnya. On August 18, Malika filed a complaint for her son's disappearance with the Grozny police and on August 22 applied to the Human Rights Council demanding clarifications from them and the Chechen Interior ministry. The Chechen minister of Foreign Affairs and Information denied any involvement by the Chechen authorities in the affair. The Chechen police claimed that Bakaev had purchased a ticket for a train from Nalchik to Moscow with the departure on August 11. On September 14, the American human rights organization Human Rights First urged the US State Department to intervene with the Russian authorities about Zelim Bakaev. On 16 September 2017, the singer's mother publicly appealed to Chechen president Ramzan Kadyrov asking about her son, but on September 18, the Chechen Ministry of Internal Affairs refused to open a criminal investigation into the disappearance of Bakaev. On 24 September 2017, a suspicious video appeared allegedly taken in Germany with a look-alike claiming to be Bakaev saying he was now in Germany. But many discrepancies were apparent including forced nature of the video, Russian furniture and equipment appearing in the footage including beverages and alcoholic brands not marketed in Germany. A high-ranking diplomat from the EU mission in Russia also confirmed that Bakaev did not cross the border of any of the Schengen countries in August 2017 or later. In October 2017, the international press outlets, and primarily the LGBT media alleged the singer had died as a result of torture at the hands of the Chechen police as part of the Chechen government's anti-gay purge.


i'm frequently napping this semester. i'm tired and i'm in need of it.

Thursday, February 22, 2018

long braided hair

my hair is thick and able to hold together without a hair tie.


i couldn't write a talk (a sermon in the LDS church) without the cold case files. it's funny since i am wondering why i didn't write my talk 99% forensic science related.

Soap made from human corpses

this is gross but interesting. During the 20th century, there were various alleged instances of soap being made from human body fat. During World War I it was claimed in the British press that the Germans had a corpse factory in which they used the bodies of their own soldiers to make glycerine and soap. After the war the British government accepted that the stories were untrue. During World War II it was believed that soap was being mass-produced from the bodies of the victims of Nazi concentration camps located in German-occupied Poland. There is however, no evidence to suggest that the Nazis made soap from human fat; despite contrary claims. The Yad Vashem Memorial has stated that the Nazis did not produce soap from Jewish corpses on an industrial scale, saying that rumors that soap from human corpses was mass-produced and distributed were deliberately used by the Nazis to frighten camp inmates. Evidence was presented at the postwar Nuremberg trials that German researchers had developed a process for the production of soap from human bodies. History- 1786: In 1780, the former Holy Innocents' Cemetery in Paris was closed because of overuse. In 1786, the bodies were exhumed and the bones were moved to the Catacombs. Many bodies had incompletely decomposed and had reduced into deposits of fat. During the exhumation, this fat was collected and subsequently turned into candles and soap. World War I: The claim that Germans used the fat from human corpses to make products, including soap, was made during World War I. This appears to have originated as rumor among British soldiers and Belgians. The first recorded reference is in 1915 when Cynthia Asquith noted in her diary (16 June 1915): "We discussed the rumour that the Germans utilise even their corpses by converting them into glycerine with the by-product of soap." It became a major international story when The Times of London reported in April 1917 that the Germans had admitted rendering the bodies of their dead soldiers for fat to make soap and other products. After the war John Charteris, the former head of army intelligence, was reported to have claimed in a 1925 speech that he had invented the story. He subsequently insisted that his remarks had been misreported. The controversy led the British Foreign Secretary Sir Austen Chamberlain to officially state that the government accepted that the "corpse factory" story was untrue. The belief that the British had deliberately invented the story was later used by the Nazis. World War II: Rumours that the Nazis produced soap from the bodies of concentration camp inmates circulated widely during the war. Germany suffered a shortage of fats during World War II, and the production of soap was put under government control. The "human soap" rumours may have originated from the bars of soap being marked with the initials RIF, which was interpreted by some as Reichs-Juden-Fett ("State Jewish Fat"); in German Blackletter font the difference between I and J is only in length. RIF in fact stood for Reichsstelle für industrielle Fettversorgung ("National Center for Industrial Fat Provisioning", the German government agency responsible for wartime production and distribution of soap and washing products). RIF soap was a poor quality substitute product that contained no fat at all, human or otherwise. Rumors about the origins and meaning of "RIF" soap extended into the concentration camps themselves. Naphtali Karchmer, in his book Solitary in the Overwhelming Turbulence: Five Years as Prisoner-of-War in East Prussia, describes his years in captivity as a Jewish-Polish POW. The author writes about gray, rectangular, low-quality pieces of soap he and other POWs received with the letters "RIF" inscribed on a center depression. When one of the POWs complained about the low-foam, smooth soap, the lady of the household answered it was made of "Rein Juden Fett" (pure Jewish fat), when asked "out of human fat?", she answered "No, just Jews". A version of the story is included in The Complete Black Book of Russian Jewry, one of the earliest collections of firsthand accounts of the Holocaust, assembled by Soviet writers Ilya Ehrenburg and Vasily Grossman. The specific story is part of a report titled "The Extermination of the Jews of Lvov" attributed to I. Herts and Naftali Nakht: In another section of the Belzec camp was an enormous soap factory. The Germans picked out the fattest Jews, murdered them, and boiled them down for soap. Artur Izrailevich Rozenshtraukh—a bank clerk from Lvov, in whose words we relate this testimony—held this "Jewish soap" in his own hands. The Gestapo thugs never denied the existence of a "production process" of this kind. Whenever they wanted to intimidate a Jew, they would say to him, "We'll make soap out of you." Raul Hilberg reports such stories as circulating in Lublin as early as October 1942. The Germans themselves were aware of the stories, as SS-chief Heinrich Himmler had received a letter describing the Polish belief that Jews were being "boiled into soap" and which indicated that the Poles feared they would suffer a similar fate. Indeed, the rumours circulated so widely that some segments of the Polish population actually boycotted the purchase of soap. Joachim Neander, in a German paper presented at the 28th conference of the German Studies Association, cites the following comment by Himmler from a letter of November 20, 1942 to the head of the Gestapo, Heinrich Müller. Himmler had written to Müller due to an exposé by Rabbi Dr. Stephen Wise, which mentioned the soap rumor and had been printed in The New York Times: You have guaranteed me that at every site the corpses of these deceased Jews are either burned or buried, and that at no site anything else can happen with the corpses. Müller was to make inquiries if "abuse" had happened somewhere and report this to Himmler "on SS oath"; Himmler hence did not from the outset exclude the possibility that such had taken place. Neander goes on to state that the letter represents circumstantial evidence that it was Nazi policy to abstain from processing corpses due to their known desire to keep their mass murder as secret as possible. Danzig Anatomical Institute: During the Nuremberg Trials, Sigmund Mazur, a laboratory assistant at the Danzig Anatomical Institute (modern Gdańsk), testified that soap had been made from corpse fat at the camp, and claimed that 70 to 80 kg (155–175 lb) of fat collected from 40 bodies could produce more than 25 kg (55 lb) of soap, and that the finished soap was retained by Professor Rudolf Spanner. Eyewitnesses included British POWs who were part of the forced labor that constructed the camp, and Dr Stanisław Byczkowski, head of the Department of Toxicology at the Gdańsk School of Medicine. Holocaust survivor Thomas Blatt, who investigated the subject, found little concrete documentation and no evidence of mass production of soap from human fat, but concluded that there was evidence of experimental soap making. Testimony was given both by Nazis and by British prisoners of war about the development of an industrial process for producing soap from human bodies, the production of such soap on a small-scale basis, and the actual use of this soap by Nazi personnel at the Danzig Anatomic Institute. The prosecutor: The experiments of the Anatomical Institute in the production the soap from the corpses and tanning of human skin for industrial purposes were conducted on a wide scale. I submit a document ... to the tribunal, which consists of the testimony of Sigmund Mazur, one of the direct participants of the production of soap from the human fat, he was helper-laboratory assistant at the Danzig Anatomical institute. ... The question: Please tell us how soap was produced from the human fat at the Danzig Anatomical institute? The answer: In summer of 1943 in the yard of the Anatomical institute a two-storey stone building containing three chambers was built. This building was designed for the purpose of utilizing corpses and cooking the bones, as the professor Spanner officially declared. The laboratory was defined as the institution of taking down skeletons, burning meat and superfluous bones, but in the winter 1943-1944 he the year of the prof Spanner instructed us to collect the human fat which was not to be thrown away any more. This order was given to Reichert and Borkmann. Prof Spanner gave me the recipe for the production of soap from the human fat in February 1944. According to this recipe 5 kg (11 lb) of the human fat appertained to be mixed with 10 litres (2.2 imp gal; 2.6 US gal) of water and 500 to 1000 grams of the caustic soda. This mixture was cooked for two up to three hours, then it was allowed to cool. Then the soap rose to the surface, while water and settlings were under it. To this mixture a pinch of salt and soda was added and it was cooked again for two up to three hours. After cooling the soap was poured into a mould. In his book Russia at War 1941 to 1945, Alexander Werth reported that while visiting Gdańsk/Danzig in 1945 shortly after its liberation by the Red Army, he saw an experimental factory outside the city for making soap from human corpses. According to Werth it had been run by "a German professor called Spanner" and "was a nightmarish sight, with its vats full of human heads and torsos pickled in some liquid, and its pails full of a flakey substance—human soap". Jasenovac concentration camp: In the Independent State of Croatia, a World War II puppet state of Nazi Germany and Italy established in part of Axis-occupied Yugoslavia, in the Jasenovac concentration camp a small factory for converting human remains into soap was also established by members of the Ustasha movement. Parts of the "soap factory" still exist and can be seen in memorial zone "Donja Gradina". Postwar: The idea that "human soap" was manufactured on an industrial scale by the Nazis was first published after the war in 1946 by Zofia Nałkowska in her seminal Medallions (see Rudolf Spanner). It was not refuted for dozens of years in Polish official historiography. Alain Resnais, who treated the testimony of Holocaust survivors as fact, continued the accusation in his noted 1955 Holocaust documentary film Nuit et brouillard. Some postwar Israelis — in the army, schools, etc. — also referred disdainfully to Jewish victims of Nazism arrived to Israel with the Hebrew word סבון (sabon, "soap"). In fact, this offensive word was not linked to the rumors about the Nazi crimes and the human soap, but had the sense of "soft", "weaklings". Though evidence does exist of small-scale soap production, possibly experimental, in the camp at Stutthof concentration camp near Danzig/Gdansk, mainstream scholars of the Holocaust consider the idea that the Nazis manufactured soap on an industrial scale to be part of World War II folklore. Historian Israel Gutman has stated that "it was never done on a mass scale". In Hitler's Death Camps: The Sanity of Madness Konnilyn Feig concludes that the Nazis "did indeed use human fat for the making of soap at Stutthof", albeit in limited quantity. Holocaust historian Robert Melvin Spector writes that "her analysis seems sound, given the known fact that the S.S. used everything it could obtain from its prisoners", including hair, skin and bones. In 2006 a sample of the soap archived at the International Court of Justice in The Hague was given for analysis to Andrzej Stołyhwo, an expert in the chemistry of fats from the Gdansk University of Technology in Poland. He concluded that some of the fat in the sample tested was of human origin. The sample of soap had previously been used as evidence in the post-World War II Nuremberg trials, but at the time the technology was unavailable to determine whether the soap had been produced from human fat. The human remains used to make the soap were believed to have been brought from Bydgoszcz and Stutthof concentration camp. Today Holocaust deniers employ this controversy to criticize the veracity of the Nazi genocide. Legacy: In the wake of the second world war, Rabbi David Polish wrote a poem, speaking of the Jewish soap: And on that day it will be, and one to one they shall gather in the valley of the bones: Human ashes from the furnaces, human vapor from Auschwitz, human parchments from the library of Satan himself, human soap, human unborn fetuses still without the human image... The master of all winds will command and bring forth a peddler to the world, who will gather us one to one, who will wonder around the world, and sell us for money, like precious ornaments, and not a high price shall he request. He shall announce his wares and call: "Who wishes to buy a souvenir—a memory from my memories? Little boys made of soap, or a rare parchment from the skin of the head of one of the biggest sages of Ashkenaz?" — Rabbi David Polish The BBC documentary about the death camps found during the end of the war shows similar atrocities including shrunken prisoner heads and preserved tattoos, recorded at a display in Buchenwald before the German people from Weimar after the camp's liberation. Several burial sites in Israel include graves for "soap made of Jewish victims by the Nazis". These are probably bars of RIF soap. Following a heated discussion on the media about these graves in 2003, Yad Vashem publicized Professor Yehuda Bauer's research saying that RIF soap was not made of human fat, and that the RIF myth was probably propagated by the Nazi guards to taunt the Jews. Yad Vashem includes an image of an emotional funeral and burial of "Jewish" soap in Romania. A small bar of soap was on display at the Nazareth holocaust memorial museum in Israel, and a similar bar of soap was buried in the "holocaust cellar" live-museum in mount Zion in Jerusalem, Israel, during the museum's inception in 1958. A replica was on display there. Following Professor Yehuda Bauer of Yad Vashem publicizing his conclusion that soap was not made in industrial quantities from the bodies of Jews or other Nazi camp inmates, Tom Segev, a "new historian" and anti-establishment Israeli author, wrote in his book "The Seventh Million" about the Holocaust-Cellar soap that it was "idol worshiping in Jerusalem".


i might go to a dance on Saturday with a friend. it would be nice

Bloody Mary (folklore)

I've heard this 1 several times. Bloody Mary is a folklore legend consisting of a ghost, phantom, or spirit conjured to reveal the future. She is said to appear in a mirror when her name is called three times. The Bloody Mary apparition may be benign or malevolent, depending on historic variations of the legend. The Bloody Mary appearances are mostly "witnessed" in group participation play. Ritual: Historically, the ritual encouraged young women to walk up a flight of stairs backwards holding a candle and a hand mirror, in a darkened house. As they gazed into the mirror, they were supposed to be able to catch a view of their future husband's face. There was, however, a chance that they would see a skull (or the face of the Grim Reaper) instead, indicating that they were destined to die before they would have the chance to marry. In the ritual of today, Bloody Mary allegedly appears to individuals or groups who ritualistically invoke her name in an act of catoptromancy. This is done by repeatedly chanting her name in a mirror placed in a dimly-lit or candle-lit room. The Bloody Mary apparition allegedly appears as a corpse, a witch or ghost; can be friendly or evil; and is sometimes "seen" covered in blood. The lore surrounding the ritual states that participants may endure the apparition screaming at them, cursing them, strangling them, stealing their soul, drinking their blood, or scratching their eyes out. The modern legend of Hanako-san in Japan strongly parallels the Bloody Mary mythology. A modern addition of taunting Bloody Mary regarding her baby indicates the legendary figure's conflation with the historic figure Queen Mary I, also known as "Bloody Mary", whose life was marked by a number of miscarriages or false pregnancies and is remembered for her violent religious reforms. Phenomenon explained: Staring into a mirror in a dimly-lit room for a prolonged period can cause one to hallucinate. Facial features may appear to "melt", distort, disappear, and rotate, while other hallucinatory elements, such as animal or strange faces, may appear. Giovanni Caputo writes that this phenomenon, which he calls the "strange-face illusion", is believed to be a consequence of a "dissociative identity effect", which causes the brain's facial-recognition system to misfire in an as-yet unidentified way. Other possible explanations for the phenomenon include illusions attributed, at least partially, to the perceptual effects of Troxler's fading, and possibly self-hypnosis. In popular culture: The legend of Bloody Mary has served as inspiration for a number of movies, television shows, and video games dealing with the supernatural.


when my brother asked if i'd do a baptism for the dead for grandpa initially i said no since i wasn't sure if his sons would let me do it. i eventually caved and said i'd check. i was right. legally i caved because i wanted to do it i just needed my uncle's permission to do so since he was on the lawyers contact list.

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Knitting needles

I'm getting some for a new hobby. It's nice, relaxing and relieves stress

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

My example

So I'd mentioned being mormon in dance class a few times and a few missionaries asked if anyone asked about it and I said no they didn't. The missionaries said that everyone will be inspired by my example


i should've written and said this out loud in the mic when i gave my talk "bring in for extra credit".

pronounced correctly

yesterday in science class my last name was pronounced correctly. since graduating high school few people have pronounced it correctly. i've said it less and less and the person who said it correctly said he listened in attendance.

sleep in a tad

i slept in a bit this morning. i got 9 hours of sleep and since i took herbal tea and cold medicine i'm better. course my period likely helped me sleep like crazy.

Michael Blassie

Michael Joseph Blassie was an officer in the United States Air Force. Prior to the identification of his remains, Blassie was the unknown service member from the Vietnam War buried at the Tomb of the Unknowns and was awarded the Medal of Honor. Biography: After graduating from St. Louis University High School, Blassie entered the United States Air Force Academy, from which he graduated in 1970. He then attended Undergraduate Pilot Training, receiving his aeronautical rating as an Air Force pilot in 1971. He subsequently qualified as an A-37 Dragonfly pilot and served as a member of the 8th Special Operations Squadron, deployed to Southeast Asia. Blassie died when his A-37B Dragonfly was shot down near An Lộc in what was then South Vietnam. Vietnam Unknown: Partial skeletal remains were retrieved from the area of the crash five months after his aircraft was shot down and were initially identified by Mortuary Affairs as Blassie. The remains were reclassified as unknown when their projected age and height were judged not to match Blassie's. Blassie's remains were designated as the unknown service member from the Vietnam War by Medal of Honor recipient U.S. Marine Corps Sgt. Maj. Allan J. Kellogg Jr. during a ceremony at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii on May 17, 1984, and were transported aboard the USS Brewton to Naval Air Station Alameda. The remains were then sent to Travis Air Force Base on May 24, and arrived at Andrews Air Force Base the following day. Many Vietnam veterans, President Ronald Reagan, and First Lady Nancy Reagan visited Blassie as he lay in state in the U.S. Capitol. An Army caisson carried his coffin from the Capitol to the Memorial Amphitheater at Arlington National Cemetery on Memorial Day, May 28, 1984. President Reagan presided over the funeral and presented the Medal of Honor to the Vietnam Unknown. The President also acted as next of kin by accepting the interment flag at the end of the ceremony. DNA identification had yet to advance to its current state when Blassie's remains were repatriated, and he lay in the Tomb of the Unknowns up to 1998, with visitors paying respects but unaware of his identity. A CBS News report in January 1998 claimed the Vietnam unknown was Blassie, and articles in U.S. Veteran Dispatch in 1994 and 1996 had made the same claim, drawing on Defense Department records. After Blassie's family secured permission, the remains of Blassie were exhumed on May 14, 1998. Based on mitochondrial DNA testing, Department of Defense scientists were able to identify Blassie's remains. On June 30, 1998, the Defense Department announced that the Vietnam Unknown had been identified. On July 10, Blassie's remains were transported to his family in Saint Louis, Missouri, and were later reinterred at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery. The Medal of Honor bestowed upon him as the Vietnam Unknown was not transferred to Blassie after his remains were identified. Following the removal of Lt. Blassie's remains from the Tomb of the Unknowns, the marker at Arlington was replaced with one that read "Honoring and Keeping Faith with America's Missing Servicemen." Advances in technology, such as those that allowed the identification of Lt. Blassie, may lead to the eventual identification of all interments marked "unknown" from Vietnam.

Stoneman Douglas High School shooting

this is the news everyone's been talking about. On the afternoon of February 14, 2018, a mass shooting occurred at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, in the Miami metropolitan area. Seventeen people were killed and fifteen more were taken to hospitals, making it one of the world's deadliest school massacres. The suspected perpetrator, Nikolas Jacob Cruz, was arrested shortly afterward and confessed, according to the Broward County Sheriff's Office. He was charged with 17 counts of premeditated murder. In September 2017, the FBI learned "nikolas cruz" had posted a YouTube comment, "Im going to be a professional school shooter", but could not identify the poster. In January 2018, it got another tip, that Cruz had made a death threat, but due to an error, its Miami field office was not notified. Police and prosecutors have not yet established a motive for the rampage and are looking into "a pattern of disciplinary issues and unnerving behavior". Shooting: The shooting took place during the afternoon of February 14, 2018, at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. The suspected shooter, Nikolas Cruz, requested an Uber ride and was dropped off at the school at 2:19 p.m. EST. He was carrying a backpack and a long bag. Cruz entered the "freshman building", a three-story structure containing 30 classrooms typically occupied by about 900 students and 30 teachers. He activated a fire alarm while he was armed with an AR-15 style carbine and multiple magazines, and began shooting indiscriminately at students and teachers. He had purchased the rifle legally from a nearby Coral Springs gun store in February 2017. At approximately 2:21, near dismissal time, staff members heard gunfire and activated a "code red" lockdown. The shooting lasted six minutes, after which Cruz left his rifle on the 3rd floor of the building and left the scene by blending in with fleeing students. He walked to a Walmart, where he purchased a soda at its Subway restaurant. He then walked to a McDonald's and lingered before leaving on foot at 3:01. At about 3:40 p.m., he was stopped by a Coconut Creek police officer at 4700 Wyndham Lakes Drive in Coral Springs—two miles from the school—and taken into custody without incident. School surveillance cameras recorded Cruz as the perpetrator. Victims: Fourteen students and three staff members were killed and many others injured, including at least 15 who were taken to area hospitals. Three people remained in critical condition the next day and one the day after that. Of those killed, twelve died in the school, two just outside the school buildings, one on the street, and two at the hospital. The dead were: -Alyssa Alhadeff, 14 -Scott Beigel, 35 -Martin Duque, 14 -Nicholas Dworet, 17 -Aaron Feis, 37 -Jaime Guttenberg, 14 -Chris Hixon, 49 -Luke Hoyer, 15 -Cara Loughran, 14 -Gina Montalto, 14 -Joaquin Oliver, 17 -Alaina Petty, 14 -Meadow Pollack, 18 -Helena Ramsay, 17 -Alex Schachter, 14 -Carmen Schentrup, 16 -Peter Wang, 15 Scott Beigel, a geography teacher at the school, was shot dead after he unlocked a classroom for students to hide; some students survived because the gunman did not enter the classroom. Aaron Feis was an assistant football coach and security guard at the school; he was shot and killed as he shielded two students. Chris Hixon, the school's athletic director, was killed as he ran toward the sound of the gunfire. Fifteen-year-old Peter Wang was last seen in JROTC uniform holding open doors so others could get out more quickly. Wang was called a hero and many called to bury him with full military honors. Nikolas Cruz: The suspected shooter was identified as Nikolas Jacob Cruz, a 19-year-old former student at the school. His former math teacher said an email from the school administration had circulated among teachers. The email warned that Cruz had made threats against other students, which led the school to ban him from wearing a backpack on campus. He was later expelled for disciplinary reasons. Cruz was born on September 24, 1998, in Margate, Florida, and was adopted at age 2. His adoptive father died during Cruz's childhood. His adoptive mother died at age 68 in November 2017. Cruz had been living with relatives and friends since her death. He had previously been receiving mental health treatment, but stopped going. He was a member of the Junior Reserve Officers' Training Corps (JROTC) and had received multiple awards for outstanding academic performance. He was also a member of his school's varsity air rifle team. A former classmate said Cruz had anger management problems and often joked about guns and gun violence, including "shooting up establishments". A 2016 graduate's brother described him as "super stressed out all the time and talked about guns a lot and tried to hide his face". A current student said, "I think everyone had in their minds if anybody was going to do it, it was going to be him." A classmate assigned to work with him in sophomore year said, "He told me how he got kicked out of two private schools. He was held back twice. He had aspirations to join the military. He enjoyed hunting." Cruz also bragged about killing animals. A neighbor said Cruz's mother would call the police over to the house to try to "talk some sense" into him. Broward County Sheriff Scott Israel described Cruz's online profiles and accounts as "very, very disturbing". They contained numerous pictures and posts of him with a variety of weapons, including long knives, a shotgun, a pistol, and a BB gun. The Florida Department of Children and Families investigated Cruz in September 2016 for Snapchat posts in which he cut both his arms and said he planned to buy a gun. State investigators reported Cruz had depression, autism, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and assessed that he was not a risk. Cruz's YouTube videos included violent threats, such as "I wanna die Fighting killing s**t ton of people", threats against police officers and Antifa, and an admiration of the University of Texas tower shooting. He left a comment on another user's YouTube video on September 24, 2017, stating "I'm going to be a professional school shooter", which prompted the user to report him to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). According to FBI agent Robert Lasky, the FBI was unable to identify the commenter after conducting database reviews and checks. Police said Cruz holds "extremist" views and social media accounts believed to be linked to him contain anti-black and anti-Muslim slurs. In a private Instagram group he titled "Murica (American flag emoji) (eagle emoji) great", he advocated killing Mexicans, blacks, and gays. According to CNN, Cruz said that his hate for black people was "simply because they were black"; he referred to white women in interracial relationships as traitors, and he also expressed anti-immigration and antisemitism, the latter in respect to his biological mother. Legal proceedings: At his arraignment before Judge Kim Theresa Mollica on February 15, Cruz was charged with 17 counts of premeditated murder and ordered held without bond. If convicted of capital murder by a jury, he could face the death penalty. According to an affidavit by the Broward County Sheriff's Office, he confessed to the shooting, stating that he brought additional loaded magazines hidden in a backpack. The public defender's office said he will plead guilty if the death penalty is taken off the table. The chief public defender in Broward County said that it is not yet known if Cruz's attorneys will seek an insanity defense. Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi said she is certain prosecutors will seek the death penalty. Aftermath: First responders established a triage tent outside the school. The school district provided grief counseling to students and their families. Additionally, Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi said costs of funerals and counseling would be covered by the state. At least three counties of Florida and Virginia increased police presence at schools on February 15 in response to the shooting. The building where the shooting took place will be torn down. Cruz was placed on suicide watch in an isolation cell.

Monday, February 19, 2018


what would've looked insane is if i'd bought: harry potter bracelet, a twilight bag and star wars earrings. my mom would've been puzzled as i typically hate star wars but there are cool things from star wars.

twilight and harry potter

i bought a few things that are from different fandoms. i bought a harry potter bracelet and coffee mug and a twilight hobo bag. they'll look odd since they don't match but i love both series so who cares. i'm super excited to use both.

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Caramel apple

Caramel apples or taffy apples are created by dipping or rolling apples-on-a-stick in hot caramel, sometimes then rolling them in nuts or other small savories or confections, and allowing them to cool. Generally, they are called caramel apples when only caramel is applied and taffy apples for when there are further ingredients such as peanuts applied. Production: For high-volume production of caramel apples, a sheet of caramel can be wrapped around the apple, followed by heating the apple to melt the caramel evenly onto it. This creates a harder caramel that is easier to transport but more difficult to eat. Caramel apple production at home usually involves melting pre-purchased caramel candies for dipping or making a homemade caramel from ingredients like corn syrup, brown sugar, butter, and vanilla. Homemade caramel generally results in a softer, creamier coating. In recent years, it has become increasingly popular to decorate caramel apples for holidays like Halloween. Methods used to do this include applying sugar or salt to softened caramel, dipping cooled, hardened apples in white or milk chocolate, or painting designs onto finished caramel apples with white chocolate colored with food coloring. Classically, the preferred apples for use in caramel apples are tart, crisp apples such as Granny Smith or Fuji apples. Softer, grainy-textured apples can also be used, but are not preferred.

Tom and Jerry (drink)

A Tom and Jerry is a traditional Christmastime cocktail in the United States, devised by British journalist Pierce Egan in the 1820s. It is a variant of eggnog with brandy and rum added and served hot, usually in a mug or a bowl. Another method uses egg whites, beaten stiff, with the yolks and sugar folded back in, and optionally vanilla extract added. A few spoonfuls are added to a mug, then hot milk and rum are added, and it is topped with nutmeg. Pre-made Tom and Jerry batter, typically produced by Wisconsin and Minnesota manufacturers, is sold in regional supermarkets during the Christmas season. this looks like something i might try Onomastics: The drink's name is a reference to Egan's book, Life in London, or The Day and Night Scenes of Jerry Hawthorn Esq. and his Elegant Friend Corinthian Tom (1821), and the subsequent stage play Tom and Jerry, or Life in London (also 1821). To publicize the book and the play, Egan introduced a variation of eggnog by adding 1⁄2 US fluid ounce (15 ml) of brandy, calling it a "Tom and Jerry". The additional fortification helped popularize the drink. Two much later cartoon duos, a short-lived Tom and Jerry from Van Beuren Studios in the 1930s, and the famous cat and mouse rivalry from the 1940s through the 1960s, also bore the name, possibly as a play on words with the drink. Culture references: Tom and Jerry was a favorite of President Warren G. Harding, who served it at an annual Christmas party for his closest friends. The drink features prominently in Damon Runyon's 1932 short story "Dancing Dan's Christmas", beginning with the passage: This hot Tom and Jerry is an old time drink that is once used by one and all in this country to celebrate Christmas with, and in fact it is once so popular that many people think Christmas is invented only to furnish an excuse for hot Tom and Jerry, although of course this is by no means true. In the 1940 film Beyond Tomorrow, the characters drink Tom and Jerrys on Christmas Eve in the beginning of the film. When James Houston arrives to return Michael O'Brien's wallet, O'Brien insists that Houston "stay and have a bit of cheer with us." When O'Brien asks Houston what he'd like to drink, Houston replies, "Whatever you're having, sir." O'Brien says, "I'm having Tom and Jerry, myself" and ladles out the drink for himself, Houston, and Alan Chadwick. The central character (Steve Dangos) in An American Romance is introduced to Tom and Jerrys on his first Christmas in the steel mill town, which makes him realize how lonely he is, and he sends for his fiancée to join him there. The Tom and Jerry serves as a central plot device in Yogi Yorgesson's 1949 song and monologue "I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas". The narrator sneaks off to the local bar to have a glass of beer before his family's Christmas celebration but instead ends up consuming a dozen Tom and Jerrys, which leaves him severely hung over as the chaos of Christmas Day surrounds him. In the 1941 film The Great Mr. Nobody, a pair of characters are enjoying mugs of Tom and Jerrys in a bar on Christmas Eve and offer one to the protagonist, "Dreamy" Smith, when he arrives. A big sign by the door advertises the drink as a special Yuletide treat. The drink is also mentioned in the 1960 film The Apartment, with C.C. Baxter, preparing to loan out his apartment to his boss for a Christmas Eve sexual tryst, informing him that "the Tom and Jerry mix is in the refrigerator."


I was modest today and it was everyone saw a new version of me they've never seen before

Saturday, February 17, 2018


when i ran into my friends at the grocery store it was a blessing in disguise. i was having a bit of a bad day and i needed a boost. my mom was happy about that as well since we all had a bit of a low day so the fact i ran into some friends made up for it.

Ocean smelling hair

My hair is going to smell like the ocean for a month or so. I've got ocean breeze stuff and ocean dandruff stuff

Friday, February 16, 2018

Disappearance of Dennis Martin

Dennis Lloyd Martin is an American citizen who disappeared on June 14, 1969 in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park in Tennessee at the age of six. The search effort was the most extensive in the Park's history, involving approximately 1,400 searchers and a 56-square mile area without any major leads. Disappearance: Martin, a resident of Knoxville, Tennessee, was visiting the Great Smoky Mountains National Park along with his father, grandfather and older brother on Father's Day weekend in 1969. They hiked from Cades Cove to Russell Field and camped overnight. The next day they hiked to Spence Field near the Appalachian Trail, where they planned to spend the night. Martin disappeared at 16:30 while playing hide-and-seek with his brother and other children; he was last seen going behind a bush to hide, intending on surprising his father at another location. After being missing for about five minutes, his family became concerned and began searching for him. After several hours, they sought help from National Park Service Rangers. Investigation: Search efforts, including a separate search by the National Guard and Special Forces found no trace. Heavy rains during the first day's search hampered efforts, and heavy mist the next day. Up to 1,400 people were involved in the search effort, potentially obscuring possible clues. Footprints were found in the area, but dismissed as being Martin's. A shoe and sock were also found. More than a thousand searchers continued to look until June 26, when the search was cut back. The search was abandoned on June 29, after a last search. The search was officially closed down on September 14, 1969. Aftermath: Martin's father offered a $5,000 USD, which is the equivalent to $33,367 in 2017 reward for information. Psychics, including Jeane Dixon, offered clues, but nothing was found. A few years after, a ginseng-hunter discovered the scattered skeletal remains of a small child in Big Hollow, Tremont. He kept the find to himself until 1985 for fear of prosecution. A subsequent search turned up nothing of value. The unsuccessful search for Martin led the National Park Service to review and amend its policies on searches for missing people. Theories: Three main theories exist about what happened to Martin. -The first is that he became lost and perished from exposure or some other cause, likely during the first night. -The second is that he was attacked by a hungry bear (or, less likely, a feral pig) and carried off. -The third is that he was abducted and taken out of the park by a human. His father is a proponent of the third theory. On the afternoon that Martin disappeared, tourist Harold Key heard an "enormous, sickening scream" and shortly thereafter witnessed "a rough-looking man moving stealthily in the woods" before getting into a white car and driving away, lending credence to the latter theory. Park Rangers and the Federal Bureau of Investigation concluded that there was insufficient evidence to link the sighting to Martin's disappearance, particularly given that Key's sighting was approximately five miles away from where Martin disappeared.

Water therapy

I've been doing water therapy for 2 months now. Its awesome. I'm using it in conjunction with pain killers to help with my back, which is hurting after the dance class I took last semester. I love my back I just wish the effect was more immediate.

Funny and embarrassing

So I was video chatting with a friend a couple weeks ago and I introduced my friend I was video chatting with to my mom. In a separate room I said something that my mom chimed in and I was like "mom". It was totally embarrassing

Thursday, February 15, 2018


I mentioned to my brother I've got to be cleared to start driving lessons because of my muscle disorder. He said to talk to a doctor about epilepsy thinking that's why I've got to be tested. No I've got to be tested because of my muscle spasms that cause me to lose control of my muscles temporarily. Just or be clear I've been tested for seizures 2 times in my life and I passed both tests.

Tuesday, February 13, 2018


it's February and it's still cold. although it is still cold i'm wearing my slippers in the afternoon

Monday, February 12, 2018


My religion sometimes gives realistic examples. Like in Sunday school yesterday there was an example of a test being given and if we didn't study for it we wouldn't pass. Just like in the "final judgement" if we don't "study" we don't pass

Saturday, February 10, 2018


I took a 90 minute nap. I was super tired and I guessed I needed the nap as I passed out on the couch for it

Friday, February 9, 2018

Where is she?

When my dad moved out of his old house and I'd disappeared for a month everyone wondered where I had gone. It was made worse since no one could reach me. I came back and told everyone and they were happy. They were able to find me again.


i was on vacation in California last December and i was in a coffee shop i was asked where my parents were as i looked 16. i'm like they're at my aunt's place and it isn't too far away.

Thursday, February 8, 2018


i've gotten tons of "happy birthday" messages (since today is my birthday). my favorite was a friend waited until midnight to wish me a happy birthday. that was sweet


So when I was in Kuai I'd gone to Sacrament and asked someone where to go next I was put in a room with kids while waiting. I'd gotten my Bluetooth ear buds to work by the time I turned my head to see someone with 2 elders there saying they'll me to Sunday school. I was like, why didn't I ditch?

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Vegan cookie dough

I made vegan cookie dough and its amazing. I love it.

Loved it

I loved the fact there was a ward across the street from where I was in Hawaii. Also awesome that I went

Sunday, February 4, 2018


Its only 3 weeks into the new semester and I'm already exhausted. I'm not sure why though.

Saturday, February 3, 2018

feel horrible

when we do thing out of guilt it's often not good. like my mom buying me a dress out of guilt that i couldn't have anything from a donation bin. the 1 thing i feel guilty about is when i walked up to give my sermon i everyone cheered me going up. it was like having a light on during the night. the reason i felt bad was because no one else got it. that embarrassed me and made me feel guilt over it. i was the only 1 who used little to no scriptures (i used principles but no scriptures to "back it up") and didn't have my standard works physically with me (only my app). everyone said they liked it.

the Turpin case

this shocked me to no end. The Turpin case is a case of alleged child abuse and captivity discovered on January 14, 2018 in Perris, California, United States. David and Louise Turpin have been charged with unlawfully imprisoning their thirteen children in their home. Police found some of the children shackled to their beds with chains and padlocks in a dark, foul-smelling room. The couple allegedly shackled, beat and strangled the children, allowing them to eat once per day and shower just once per year. The victims ranged in age from 2 to 29, with seven of the thirteen children being over the age of 18 at the time of the parents' arrest. According to investigators, the victims were so malnourished that they appeared to be much younger. The oldest victim, a 29-year-old female, weighed just 82 pounds (37 kg). The couple was arrested on January 14, 2018 after one of the children escaped through a window and used a deactivated cell phone to call 9-1-1. The couple appeared in court on January 18, 2018 where they pled not guilty. They are due back in court on February 23, 2018. The case is considered "extraordinary for numerous reasons," such as the alleged abuse being done to multiple children by two parents (abuse against one child is more common) and according to Dr Bernard Gallagher, a University of Huddersfield expert in child protection, also because "you don't often get cases of children being tortured, where the abuse seems calculated." Some of the victims appeared to lack basic knowledge of the world, being unfamiliar with what medicine was. The suspects: Suspects David Allen Turpin and Louise Anna Turpin were married in 1985 in Pearisburg, Virginia when David was 23 and Louise was 16 years old. The couple eloped, angering her father, church pastor Wayne Robinette. David Turpin, according to his parents, is a computer engineer who graduated from Virginia Tech. In 1979, he graduated from Princeton High School in West Virginia. The school's 1979 yearbook listed him as the treasurer of the Bible Club, co-captain of the Chess Club, and a member of the Science Club and Acapella Choir. Louise Turpin's occupation was listed in court documents as a homemaker. The couple are adherents of the Quiverfull movement and Pentecostalism. According to David Turpin's parents, the couple kept having children because "God called on them" to have so many children. The children's homeschooling involved memorizing the Bible, and a few tried to memorize it in its entirety. David Turpin made about $140,000 per year at Northrop Grumman and had about $150,000 in assets. The Turpins declared bankruptcy in 2011, owing debt between $100,000 to $500,000. The couple rented a postal box in Burleson, Texas, from 1986 to 2003. They owned property or had lived in Rio Vista and Fort Worth, and left the area in 2010. After the Turpins moved out of the house, neighbors visited the property and found feces throughout the home, beds with ropes tied to them, several dead cats and dogs in a trailer and large piles of garbage around the property. The neighbors did not report their findings to any authorities. In the California house, their yard was unkempt with overgrown weeds prompting a code violation. Neighbors in California reported seeing the children on occasion, they would freeze and stay silent when spoken to, "they were like children whose only defense was to be invisible", they would skip around rather than walk, appeared malnourished and pale, "You knew something was off. It didn't make a lot of sense," said one neighbor. The escape and rescue of the kids: The children had been planning an escape for more than two years. On January 14, 2018, two of them left the house through a window. One returned home out of fear, but a 17-year-old daughter got away. She was in possession of a cell-phone, and, though deactivated, she was able to call 9-1-1. When police met her, she showed officers photos of conditions in the home. Deputies of the Riverside County Sheriff's Department, the local police service, then converged on the house. They found the twelve other siblings, one of whom (aged 22) was shackled to a bed with chains. The deputies suspected that an additional two had also been shackled just prior to their entry into the house. The deputies described the siblings as having a malnourished and dirty appearance and looking to be younger than their ages. They had initially assumed that all in the group were minors, but they later determined that their ages ranged from 2 to 29, with 7 being legal adults (18 or older). The Sheriff's Department said that Louise Turpin was "perplexed" when deputies entered the residence. They also said, "The parents were unable to immediately provide a logical reason why their children were restrained in the manner that they were." The six minors, ranging from ages 2 to 17, were transported to Riverside County Regional Medical Center from the sheriff's department, where they were admitted to the pediatrics unit for treatment. Corona Regional Medical Center said that the facility was treating the seven adult children, describing them as small and clearly malnourished, but stable, relieved and very friendly. Arrest and legal proceedings of the turpin parents: On January 14, 2018, David and Louise Turpin were arrested on suspicion of child endangerment and torture and held at a Riverside County jail on $9 million bail. Some sources reported that bail had been set as high as $12 million each. Police searched the Turpins' property on January 17, taking away black plastic bags of evidence. Hundreds of journals written by the children were recovered from the home. Although their admissibility in court is dubious, they are expected to provide unique insights into the experiences of victims of torture and long-term captivity. The couple was charged on January 18 with twelve counts of torture, twelve counts of false imprisonment, seven counts of abuse on a dependent adult, and six counts of child abuse. David Turpin received an additional charge of a lewd act on a child under 14 years old. If convicted on all counts, the two could be sent to prison for 94 years to life imprisonment. Upon announcing the charges against the Turpins, Riverside County District Attorney Mike Hestrin said, "The abuse and severe neglect intensified over time and intensified as they moved to California."[5] The couple pleaded not guilty to the charges. In a brief hearing on January 24, the judge accepted the prosecutors' request for a restraining order forbidding contact between the Turpin parents and their children for a period of three years. The parents are prohibited from coming within 100 yards (91 m) of any of their children or establishing electronic contact with them. Both defendants agreed to these restrictions. On June 21, Riverside County Superior Court Judge Bernard Schwartz ruled that the Turpin parents would face trial for child abuse, false imprisonment, and torture against their children. The couple face 50 charges including several counts of torture, false imprisonment and child abuse. Despite the efforts of defense attorneys to dismiss most of the charges, the judge only dropped a child endangerment charge involve the Turpin's youngest two year old child due to a lack of evidence that the toddler had been abused. Reaction of friends and extended family: On January 17, 2018, Louise Turpin's sister said that she begged for decades to see her nieces and nephews, even through Skype, but the couple would not let her. Another sister of Louise Turpin said she was concerned about the children's weights. Louise Turpin's aunt said, "With the pictures they put on Facebook, you thought they were one big happy family." David Turpin's parents said they were "surprised and shocked" at the allegations against their son and daughter-in-law. The couple's previous bankruptcy lawyer said that she met with the couple about four or five times in 2011 and described them as "just very normal." In popular culture: -Louise Turpin’s sister revealed on the Megyn Kelly Today show that the couple had experimented with different religions and with swinging. -The television series Dr. Phil, episode: “Inside the California ‘House of Horrors'”, aired: January 2018, family, neighbors, and friends speak with Dr. Phil concerning the secrets that were allegedly occurring within the home. Kidnap survivor Michelle Knight shares a message for the children.

Friday, February 2, 2018


if i played a song from the book of Mormon musical i'm pretty sure i'd be laughing at it since i know it's not 100% true.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

LaSalle Heights disaster

The LaSalle Heights disaster occurred in the early morning of March 1, 1965 in the city of LaSalle, Quebec when a gas line explosion destroyed a number of low-cost housing units. In all, 28 people lost their lives, 39 were injured and 200 left homeless. Most of the casualties were women and children because many men had left for work. The casualties might have been higher had it not been the start of the month when many men left earlier than usual to pay their monthly rent at the rental office. LaSalle Height: LaSalle Heights is a suburban residential block of low income rental units located at the corner of rue Bergevin and rue Jean Milot in LaSalle, Quebec, on the Island of Montreal. It was constructed by LaSalle Heights Inc. in 1955 and 1956 at a cost of $5,300,000. In 1955 construction was announced and the site was expected to consist of 678 units (54 three bedroom houses in rows, 422 three bedroom apartments, 136 two bedroom apartments, 50 one bedroom apartments, and 16 bachelor apartments). Rents ranged from $30 a month to $57 a month and was available to families whose monthly income ranged between four and six times their rent. The block consisted of 25 identical 'U' shaped buildings each housing 36 units of various sizes. Explosion: At approximately 8:05am a six-inch fissure emerged in a natural gas supply line in the cellar of 367 rue Bergevin, destroying units in it along with those in buildings 365, 363 and 361. Approximately 36 units were affected. The explosion left a twenty foot deep crater where the three-story apartment building had stood. Response: By 8:25am the LaSalle fire department, along with a number of naval officers from a nearby barracks descended on the site. By the afternoon, premier Jean Lesage and multiple deputies and ministers arrived to assess the damage. In the days following a foundation was created for the victims and a radio and television telethon took place. Approximately $600,000 was raised in the effort. Queen Elizabeth letter "I am most deeply distressed to learn of the tragic accident which has taken place in Ville LaSalle. Please convey my sincere sympathy to the mayor, to the injured, and the next-of-kin of those who have lost their lives. Elizabeth R." - March 3, 1965. The Central Mortgage and Housing Corporation along with the minister in charge of the Canadian government's housing program made approximately 60 vacant house available for the more than 200 left homeless from the disaster. Rent was provided free for two months. In November of that year Herbert Peard launched a lawsuit against Quebec Natural Gas Corporation. Peard lost his wife of 15 years and his three children. The $85,000 lawsuit includes a claim of $21,000 on behalf of his only remaining child Susan, who was seriously injured in the blast. On March 29, 1965 LaSalle Heights Inc. announced any or all tenants of the LaSalle Heights Housing Development was allowed to break their lease if they wanted. In February 1967, LaSalle Heights Inc. filed a $853,275 lawsuit against Quebec Natural Gas Corporation. 50th Anniversary Commemoration: The Borough of LaSalle organized a number of activities in 2015 to honour the victims' memory and convey to survivors that LaSalle residents will always remember the disaster: -All LaSalle churches were invited to commemorate the event as part of their Sunday service on March 1, marking the exact date of the 50th anniversary. -A resolution was adopted and a minute of silence observed during the Borough Council meeting on March 2, the day after the anniversary of the disaster. -The Borough granted financial assistance of $3,000 to the Société historique Cavelier-de-LaSalle, to write a monograph on the LaSalle Heights Disaster. -The Borough organized an exhibition on the tragedy, including photos from archives and newspaper articles. -LaSalle paid tribute to the victims by means of a commemorative designation at the very site of the explosion.