Friday, May 23, 2014

adam torres

one of the characters on Degrassi is Adam Torres who is a transgender character. every day his reflection was someone he didn't know. finally his mom and step-dad allow him to transition into who he thinks he is. his mom still sees him as a girl. I think a lot of kids (not just trans kids) go through the "who am I? why am I hiding my true identity?" phase. it isn't uncommon since I went through that. Adam is loyal and sarcastic. he has other qualities that make him who he is and I'm glad we can look past him being transgender. what if we all looked past the main characteristic of us and focused on our positive qualities? wouldn't it be a better world if we did that? Adam is by far my favorite character on the show. one reason is because he is relatable. Adam tried hiding his FtM secret. in "my body is a cage" part 1 and 2 we see the struggle of being different for anything. I had a secret I wanted to be hidden. I was diabetic and struggling with it. it's not that weird having a secret people want to hide. Zoe Riveras is dyslexic and wanted to hide it. when we see Adam try to be his birth (and legal) name and gender Drew realized this is detrimental to Adam's health (mentally and physically). he self-harmed as his birth gender as a way of letting the anger out. Adam thought it would be easier if he went by that but he found strength to be who he truly is. when I found the strength to accept my diabetes and be who I am, from team handball. they were my friends and made sure they can help me. during the senior game I was playing badly and everyone made sure I happened to be my person who I am. I don't know if I am a "girly girl" or a "tomboy" because I know how to be girly but I also know how to give a dig, a noogie, a wet Willie and a wedgie. apparently, someone in my ASL class says those things are "important life skills".I have 3 brothers. that's probably why I know those things. I'm probably somewhere in the middle. Clare asked if Adam knew the difference between being transgender and a tomboy or lesbian as his reasons for not being a girl is "I hated wearing dresses and having long hair." he said he's known since he was 4 or 5 he was meant to be a boy. some people say people "just know" as their explanation for things and that's what Adam's explanation for that. one of my friends say, "I'm a cross between a girly girl and a tomboy." one of my coaches says I'm a girly girl and another says I'm a tomboy. that's why I asked my friends. I'm happy I happened to have those "important life skills".on thing is that I have those are cool. I love Adam since he's relatable. my friend did a project and mentioned a character on Degrassi and I happened to help her with it and I'm glad to be happy to help her. something I'm very happy about the Degrassi show is it has sensitive issue like the transgender thing. I'm very glad my friends were supportive.

Thursday, May 1, 2014


in august of 2013 I started college. I love it so much. it's so fun. my mom and step dad aren't helping me by putting pressure on me by saying I've got to get to 15 credits a semester per year in order to graduate within a 2 year time span. I'm trying to go as fast as I can. I've got some friends. people are so sweet to me. I've gotten good grades. I've been on several sports teams. one of my friends were supportive in me with whatever I do for sports. one person says I should cheer lead. I'm glad I should be a full time student and will cheer lead. maybe I can cheer lead and get a cheer leading scholarship to somewhere. my family isn't dependent on an athletic scholarship. although it would be amazing if I got a scholarship to somewhere on a cheer leading ride. I'm not a cheerleader but I'm glad I could if I wanted. I love high school and going to college. whenever I go back onto northwest territory is like I never left. people still recognize me. it's not as though I'm invisible but it's annoying. once when I went to go see the fall play I stuck myself in a row where I hoped no one would've noticed me but someone did. all during I got "caught" by everyone who recognized me. something that's fun in MC is that I can meet new people and enjoy being unknown for a little bit. I can join as many or as few clubs as I want. I can be who I want to be in MC. I joined the people's alliance last semester but stopped going since I'm not as into it. plus I'm not going since my friend's boyfriend isn't there to give the 2 of us a ride home. what's funny is I was "the ghost voice" for a second and a half talking about the club I joined. it was funny watching people looking around for "who the fuck is talking". the funniest second and a half of my life. I went back for a few football games and people again recognized me. one thing was that my friend and neighbor didn't realize I was back. I saw him do some silly things. my teachers and advisers saw me and we talked. once I had to sneak over to the Clarksburg side. I still cheered for the northwest team. I love hanging out with her. Laura I met on Facebook and I saw she played on the allied sports for Clarksburg. Northwest high school territory is where northwest high school is going to be. it's fun to be recognized. once when I raced over to a football game someone said, "there's Jackie." its like "okay I've thrown being anonymous out the window." I've always thought that was the mentality of people at NWHS. it was insane with college now. Tuesday I'm going to a game on NWHS allied softball game and people pleaded me to help them team. it was nice since I was graduated and people on the team were short 2-3 players. it was hilarious to see them try and beg me to play on the team again. one thing I like is how people begged me to play again. another thing is I loved seeing the team play. Sanket (or as his nickname 6-pack) was pitcher and was funny. His expression lit up when he realized I might be able to play again. everyone begged me to play. Although I'd have bruises and abrasions on my hands as well as sweated through my outfit that day. plus I had no physical on file and there is the thing that I graduated. I wonder why people on the team was so desperate to have a graduated player on the team. they must be so desperate for players that's why they had to beg a graduated player to play on the team. people shouldn't be that desperate they resort to that. my outfit I was afraid to sweat through was leggings, a camisole and a thin t-shirt. I had on proper shoes but I'd have sweated through it. I also didn't have anything I needed (a softball glove). like I said I'd have bruises and abrasions on my hands unless someone gave me a lefty glove. I can't believe people are going to these extremes to beg me to play instead of being a spectator. Sanket's expression turned into a "will you play today?" and partially excited expression. I was like "absolutely not." I was pulling out my bun and then I happened to have my hair down. Isaiah was like, "Jackie play catcher." I was all "absolutely not." mostly because I was laughing and wanted to see them play. when I went to go grab water the 1st time people were asking if I was going to leave. I was like, "no I'm going to grab water. I'm not leaving. no worries." people thought I was leaving. why would I stay for warm ups and half an inning, then leave? my mom is going to have me try and do stuff for MC. I understand I'll only have 1 shot in order to do this but I want to take my time and see how this goes. I guess I'm comparing me enjoying MC while I'm still here in MoCo and enjoying my HS until I leave when I do. one of the kids who I had a class last semester he was at MC for 5 years due to him retaking classes. some kids he went to high school are getting master's degree if they are going to college for that amount of time. I understand that having college for 5 years is a long time but having a college degree will help with getting a good job. a ton of people want bachelor's and masters degree in places. I didn't get into stuff until sophomore year in high school/ mom doesn't realize that. I didn't start going to stuff on my own accord (with out it being a class assignment) my sophomore year when I went to basketball game. Mom says I get discounts for stuff at MC since I'm a student. I understand that. one thing is I'm not sure I want to go and do stuff a Montgomery college if it's a commuter college. Mom says she understands how hard it is to be in that situation since her college was a commuter college (she lived near college). its not the same for me since all the kids I see do have some stuff but unlike me I have a letterman jacket that is for 1 school and I live near a rival school. its isolating since I don't drive. also since I'm not interested in the activities there. some people have jobs and then people aren't at school 24 hours. I'm not saying I can't get a job but I need to have a fun time.