Friday, June 29, 2018

pick up accents

not sure that happens but sometimes i talk with either a Texas or Boston accent. the most likely explanation is because of my oral surgery i had as kid.


I love why I believe. They're very spiritually enhanced. I am hoping to go to the next 1 with my friends from the singles ward.

Thursday, June 28, 2018

game night

i LOVE game night. i want to go tomorrow. hopefully i can go.


scoliosis has been a huge part of my life. as has dancing and swimming. my back issues have had made me think about my weight, my ability to do certain things and making my life issues. i'm able to make it work since i'm able to do tons of things that others can't do.

dye my bangs blonde

i decided i wanted to dye my hair blonde. i also didn't want to lose an Asian feature (black hair) so i just dyed my bangs blonde. i actually tried dyeing my hair different colors but it didn't stick so it left me Blonde. the top was dark blonde and the tips were white blonde.

the rock quarry

i LOVE the rock quarry. it's 1 of my all time favorite places on earth. my family has been there several times. i love diving into the cold water and going on the high dive. my main concern is the top i wear. it's old (i bought it at a thrift store) and is falling off me. it's also a tube top.

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

why haven't been to the visitor's center

i haven't been to the visitor's center in a year or more. mainly since i'm unable to get there since i can't drive. i LOVE being there. the reason i loved it since i can see the temple. it's awesome and amazing.

new skirts

I've been getting new skirts and dresses for church. i'm OK with that. oddly my mom gets me newer skirts at TJ max.


i was in Sunday school and we were introducing ourselves and i started laughing when someone said my name. Daniel's like, "OK Jackie." then i started laughing and then everyone started cracking up. i said, "ok ok ok i'm going to be serious now....... hahahahahahaha"

Scoliosis and how it affects me

Scoliosis is curvature of the spine. I’ve got scoliosis and it bugs me. Scoliosis is something that runs in my family. With my mom and I both suffering it it’s bugging me since it hurts me during my weight loss and menstruation. When I wear lose clothes I’m happy. My weight has affected me to my scoliosis. Other people think it’s no big deal I’ve got scoliosis since I act like it’s nothing but it’s hard on me physically. My mom knows how I’m affected. She suffers as well but it’s not as painful.


so i shaved my legs. I've got a scar on my leg and I've got to be careful to not shave that scar since its there. i've also got acne on it. it's ok

met my friends

so i meet people in strange ways. i met 1 at game night, 1 on my way back to sacrament meeting, 1 at Sunday school. most I've never had feelings for. one i was attracted to since he was sweet and came up to me and introduced himself. that's bold.

One day in the winter

So one day back in the spring semester I was having a bad day: I had a hard time getting to school, my mom was keeping me in limbo about the grocery list, and my brother failed his driver’s test the 1st time and I had a hard time getting home. So I’d FINALLY gotten the grocery list and gave my mom some advice about dealing with bad days like this 1 (despite the fact I didn’t follow it as I was mentally tired). Anyways I’d gotten to Safeway (the closet grocery store in the area, after hearing a couple guys saying we hate NWHS) ready to be done with this hard day. I was getting my final things and ran into a few friends. I was happy since I’m like yay friends. I wanted to stay in that horrible mood but my nice personality came out with my friends. My mom and I were happy since she and I both had bad days.


my mom re gifts me a ton of stuff. earrings, bags and now a fit bit. not that i'm not appreciative of the stuff. i mean if it'll help me in some way or is a reward for doing something than sure i'll use them.


my mom re-gifted me a fit bit. love it since it's a watch. i can finally see the time without getting my glasses on. yay.

Murder of XXXTentacion

Jahseh Onfroy, an American hip hop artist, better known as XXXTentacion, was fatally shot on June 18, 2018 at the age of 20, in an apparent robbery at a motorcycle dealership in Deerfield Beach, Florida. The shooting occurred at 3:57 p.m. Eastern time when Onfroy was leaving the dealership. He was shot once in the neck and was in critical condition before being pronounced dead at 5:30 p.m EST after being rushed to Broward Health North. Events: On June 18, 2018, Onfroy went to the bank in an attempt to withdraw money before heading to RIVA Motorsports, an upscale seller of motorcycles and boats in Deerfield Beach, Florida. After withdrawing money from the bank, Onfroy was followed by a car allegedly containing Dedrick Williams and two other accomplices. At 3:30 p.m EDT, Onfroy arrived at RIVA Motorsports and entered inside with a friend. Two minutes later, Williams and another man allegedly left a brown SUV and followed Onfroy inside before buying the masks used during the robbery in RIVA Motorsports parts department. A half hour later, Onfroy left the dealership and entered his black BMW i8 and began to drive away from the dealership before a black SUV drove in front of Onfroy's car and two armed men left the vehicle, and demanded property from Onfroy, before a brief struggle after which Onfroy was shot in the neck. Witnesses told police the suspects took a Louis Vuitton bag from his vehicle and then fled. The shooting occurred in east of the city of Parkland where Onfroy was currently living. The Broward County Fire Department rushed him to the nearby Broward Health North. Onfroy was initially reported to be in critical condition following the shooting, but the Broward County Sheriff's Office later confirmed his death. Investigation: Shortly following the announcement of Onfroy's death, Broward County Sheriff's Office offered $3,000 bounty for any information leading to the arrest of any suspects. On June 20, 2018, the Broward County Sheriff's Office arrested 22-year-old Dedrick Devonshay Williams in connection with Onfroy's murder. Williams was driving in his silver 2004 Honda before a traffic stop occurred. Williams was detained in the car chase that followed. Williams was identified by what he was wearing on June 18, yellow sandals and a white tank top. He was also identified by employees who saw him when he entered RIVA Motorsports to buy a neoprene mask. Two more active warrants were issued after Williams' arrest. Legal proceedings: Williams was charged with first degree murder, along with grand theft auto and a probation violation and was denied bail. Aftermath: Following the announcement of Onfroy's murder, a makeshift memorial was quickly created by fans and local residents, consisting of lyrics from the artist and words of remembrance written in chalk stretching up to a hundred yards. The owner of Riva Motorsports, where Onfroy was killed, held a vigil on June 19, 2018. Hundreds gathered during the vigil and Broward County Sheriffs were forced to close the street. Shortly after, a walk commenced between Onfroy's fans in support of gun control. Onfroy's new house in Parkland, Florida was also memorialized by fans. Onfroy's team issued a statement saying a proper memorial service will be arranged soon. Internet personality Adam Grandmaison (better known as Adam22), the creator of the podcast No Jumper where Onfroy had his first professional interview, held a memorial in front of his BMX retail store OnSomeShit on Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles to a crowd of 300 people. The crowd eventually grew to over 1,000 and police in riot gear eventually appeared with police en route to disperse the crowd. According to reports, rubber bullets were shot and tear gas was used to disperse the crowd. Funeral: On June 24, 2018, an open-casket memorial was announced to be taking place on June 27, at the BB&T Center in Sunrise, Florida. Mobile phones and cameras would not be allowed at the event. Commercial impact: On June 19, the day after Onfroy's death, Billboard reported that Taylor Swift's Spotify single-day streaming record for "Look What You Made Me Do" was broken by Onfroy's track "Sad!", with 10.4 million streams compared to Swift's 10.1 million streams. This was followed by a 16-fold sales increase across all streaming and download platforms, including a 7000-fold sales increase in CDs on Onfroy's album ? was expected to return to the top five the week of his death following his murder, with 90,000 album-equivalent units sold, up from 19,000 the last week. In the week following Onfroy's murder, Onfroy's highest-charting single, "Sad!", went number one on the Billboard Hot 100, making Onfroy the first artist to top the Hot 100 posthumously in a lead role since The Notorious B.I.G., with "Mo Money Mo Problems", in 1997.

Monday, June 25, 2018


so my mom found me a ward in Kauai to go to. she thought, "here's a church Jackie can go to. oh wait it IS her church." small world. another thing that scared me was how sweet the people were. i mean everyone is super sweet but they were over the top.


so i made a video on the rappers who were shot and killed. ( i was wondering why so many rappers are dead.


so i transitioned to semi-vegetarianism about 18 months ago. i usually like vegetarian food. some times i eat vegan food as a way to keep my weight, blood sugar and joints in check. my favorite vegan food i make is vegan cookie dough.


So about a month and a half ago I had some elders over and they'd asked about my exams and I said, define exams. The reason I said, "define exams" is because at the college I go to depending on the teacher/ professor and the subject the exam could be different. Even the same subject can have different exams. Except for things like math and English exams as those are usually set (usually A test for math and a portfolio for English). The guys are sweethearts. They're just goofy sometimes


Sometimes when I was at the singles ward a sister missionary would come over and share a songbook with me. Another time she patted a seat next to her and the others. Good friend but ugh.

Sunday, June 24, 2018

typical white girl

i'm not a typical white girl. i love pumpkin spice stuff. i of course have stuff that i love it. i'm not blonde but i am an unusual typical white girl

long hair and running

so my hair is usually long. i once was about to run to my mom's car after the rock quarry was about to close. i'd undone the "airplane mode" in order to keep the battery from dying. i'd gotten a phone call and was running (rather wobbly) in flip flops, carrying my "purse" (fanny pack) on my shoulder and wet clothes in hand with my hand on my phone in my other talking with a friend. my hair slowed me down a little.

play with the kids

i "played" with kids during sacrament meeting. a couple kids needed a smile and 1 drew a picture. it was sweet. i kept them occupied.


I might be switching to the singles ward 100%. My mom wants me to go there since I’m into going to a ward with kids my own. My dad wanted me to go there since he doesn’t like to go somewhere early. I’m happy going there since I love being there, I’ve got tons of friends there and those kids are my own age. Not that there’s anything wrong with the ward my dad usually takes me to. I told everyone I might be fully transferring with a little sob emoji. I explained that the ward my dad usually takes me to have been my home ward for so long it’ll take a little getting used to. Everyone was super excited.

Saturday, June 23, 2018

Video Diaries

So I love making video diaries. I’ve been into making them for a while now and love making them. Sometimes it’s a struggle to get an idea of what I want to do for a video and others it’s pretty easy. Sometimes I’ll say what happened to me over the week. Other times it’ll be a video about the LDS church. Rarely will I do yoga moves. Now it’s being viewed more often. I haven’t got any newer followers and I’m not into my religion since many people are into it but I usually speak about it on my channel. A ton of people like the LDS videos since it’s a newer religion. The LDS videos are getting more popular since many people don’t understand it and are unfamiliar with it. The videos I usually make aren’t very long but now they’re getting longer. Also now sometimes I’m live streaming.

inspired by my example

So I’d mentioned being Mormon in dance class and then told people in church about it. Everyone wanted to hear about it but it wasn’t special since I’d mentioned I had a book of Mormon and was 1. I really didn’t go into great detail about it since wasn’t something I wanted to into great detail about and so I barely mentioned it. Some missionaries said everyone would be inspired by my example (whatever that means).

My old clothes

My old clothes are worn out. Now my old navy shirts are off the shoulder. My old skirts and dresses are too short despite me not getting taller since I was 16 years old. When I wear my older clothes I run the risk of showing my underwear or my bra strap. Of course since my mom hasn’t bought me newer clothes in years I wanted to go on a shopping spree.

1st day in the singles ward

so i was so scared but my anxiety completely disappeared once i calmed down. once i'd gotten to sacrament meeting (the singles ward has it's meetings in reverse so relief society and priesthood are 1st and Sacrament last) i was fine. i tried my hand at playing the piano but couldn't since i was really rusty. my 1st friend there sat with me.


so once on my way to an allied softball game at a rival high school i ran into someone i never thought i'd see again since my brother knew this person but hadn't seen him in a while and somehow he'd recognized me despite it being years and i'd dyed my hair blonde (streaked it excuse me) and had on different glasses. i was so shocked i'd needed someone to walk me to the gym where we were playing. i'd also texted my brother i ran into his old friend.

Friday, June 22, 2018

too much vegan food

i've got way too much vegan food. i'm into it since i'm trying to lose weight but it tires me out and i need extra vitamins.

YouTube videos

So I decided to make a channel since I was bored and needed it for homework. I of course decided to make my channel for fun after I made a number of YouTube videos for boredom. Now I’m hoping I could make some money off of it but it’s not working since I’m unable to make enough money and YouTube videos for it. Luckily I was able to make SOME money if I can get several videos to a thousand. It won’t be for a while since my videos aren’t very popular. One video is very close to having 1,000 views. It’s because it’s because I’ve shown too much skin while doing a yoga pose.


I've always loved leftovers. my family usually makes tons of food and then we have left overs for the next day.

vegan cookie dough

this is my favorite vegan treat. i love vegan food since i'm trying to lose weight. it's simple: mix chickpeas, vanilla extract, peanut butter and maple syrup in a blender or food processor and once smooth add chocolate chips.

Jimmy Wopo another dead rapper

Joseph Newton Chandler III

finally identified: Robert Ivan Nichols, alias Joseph Newton Chandler III was a formerly unidentified identity thief who committed suicide in Eastlake, Ohio, in July 2002. After his death, investigators were unable to locate his family and discovered that he had stolen the identity of an eight-year-old boy who was killed in a car crash in Texas in 1945. The lengths to which Nichols went to hide his identity led to speculation that he was a fugitive. In late 2016, U.S. Marshals announced that forensic genealogist Colleen Fitzpatrick had used Y-Chromosome genetic information to link the then-unidentified man to the surname "Nicholas" or "Nichols". On June 21, 2018, it was announced that he had been identified as Robert Ivan Nichols. Background- The real Joseph Chandler: Joseph Newton Chandler III, born in Buffalo, New York, was eight-years-old when he was killed in a traffic accident along with his parents in Texas on December 21, 1945. Reports differ on whether the accident took place in Sherman or Weatherford. Nichols' life and identity theft: Robert Nichols was born on 26 September 1926 in New Albany, Indiana to Silas and Alpha Nichols who had four boys. He joined the US Navy in World War II and served as a firefighter on the USS. Aaron Ward which was bombed by the Japanese in 1945 off Okinawa. He was wounded and awarded the Purple Heart. He burned his uniforms after the war. Nichols married Laverne Kort in 1947, they had three sons and Nichols worked for General Electric as a draftsman. In 1964, Nichols left his wife and sons and filed for divorce the same year. He moved to Dearborn, Michigan where he told his parents that he worked in the automobile industry. In March 1965 he wrote to his parents that he had moved to Richmond, California and he also sent a letter to his son Phil from Napa, California the same month. His family never heard from him again and they reported him missing in 1965. Nichols worked using his real name until 1976 according to the US Internal Revenue Service. Nichols stole Chandler's identity in September 1978 in Rapid City, South Dakota after applying for a Social Security card, and moved to the Cleveland area shortly after. In 1978 he worked for Edko Company, an engineering business in Cleveland and later worked as an electrical designer and draftsman for Lubrizol, a chemical company headquartered in Wickliffe, Ohio. The company laid him off in 1997. He had claimed to have a sister named "Mary Wilson"; however, the address he provided for her in Columbus, Ohio was fictitious. It was eventually revealed that Nichols was actually born at the same address in New Albany. Nichols was described as being a hermit who only left his home to go to work and eat. Co-workers have said he rarely talked to anyone and appeared to have few or no friends. He also took part in behavior perceived as eccentric, such as listening to white noise for hours, and once drove to an L.L. Bean store in Maine (a drive of at least ten hours and 700 miles/1,100 km) only to promptly turn around and drive back to Ohio after discovering that there were no spots available in the store's parking lot. Suicide: His body was discovered in his apartment on July 30, 2002. He was believed to have killed himself about a week earlier. He had committed suicide by shooting himself in the mouth with a .38-caliber Charter Arms revolver he had purchased a few months earlier. He had recently been diagnosed with colon cancer, which may have influenced his decision to commit suicide. He had $82,000 in his bank account and had listed his co-workers as emergency contacts. His identity theft was discovered when authorities could not find any relatives and discovered that the real Chandler had died decades prior. Authorities were unable to find any usable fingerprints to assist in identification and were only able to get a DNA sample after discovering he had visted a Lake County, Ohio hospital for colon cancer surgery in 2000. Identification: In 2014, at the request of the local police, Ohio US Marshall Peter Elliot began investigating the Chandler case. Using the DNA sample from the Lake County hospital, he checked it against national crime databases but found no matches. In 2016, he asked genetic genealogist Colleen Fitzpatrick to help. Initially, using Y-chromosome DNA analysis, she and fellow genealogist Margaret Press identified the surname as Nicholas or Nichols. In 2018, using autosomal DNA analysis and GEDmatch, an open-source personal genomics database, they pinpointed a family in New Albany, Indiana, one of whose sons, Robert Nichols, had been reported missing. A DNA test on Phil Nichols, Robert Nichols' son, confirmed that the body was indeed that of Robert Nichols. Theories: Authorities had belived that he was a fugitive of some kind. There were many theories as to what he may have been running from, none of which were confirmed. Some internet sleuths suggested that he might have been the Zodiac killer as he resembled police sketches of the Zodiac and had lived in California, where the Zodiac operated. Another theory was that he was Steven Campbell, an engineer from Cheyenne, Wyoming wanted for attempted murder. Authorities also considered that he mght have been a German soldier or Nazi official from the Second World War that had escaped to the United States. Personal details- Physical description: He was described as a white male aged 65 to 70 who was 5 feet 7 inches (1.70 m) tall and weighed 160 pounds (73 kg). He had graying brown hair and gray eyes. Rule-outs- The following people were eliminated as possible identities for the man: -John Barreto -Shirley Campbell -Ron Tammen Jr.

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Freaky dream

So when I woke up this morning I was thinking about mission call. Not sure why. I mean I want to go on a mission and am going (hopefully) and I'm not sure why I was dreaming about a mission call


Apparently, the next time I'm having my home teacher come with my visiting teachers for a lesson.

Sitting with people

So I'd mentioned "jumping" to the other side of my stuff back in the spring it was more ok. So I was sitting in a row with people I barely knew and when I turned my head a sister missionary patted the seat next to her so I hopped over to her.

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

scared off my brother

ok so once i was watching a scary video back in the spring and this was before day light savings time had kicked in and it was dark and when my brother came back and i screamed. when i realized who it was i'm like sorry Bobby.


When I mentioned that I used to do archery everyone was interested since they liked it. I’m like “why me?” Also when I mentioned I danced everyone wanted to see me dance and showed off my basketball skills.

Murder of Allison Baden-Clay

Allison June Baden-Clay (née Dickie) was an Australian woman whose body was discovered on 30 April 2012, ten days after she was reported missing by her husband Gerard. On 13 June 2012, Gerard was charged with murder and interfering with a corpse. On 15 July 2014, he was found guilty and given a life sentence. Gerard appealed the conviction and on 8 December 2015, it was downgraded to manslaughter. In August 2016, the High Court of Australia re-instated the murder conviction. Background: Gerard Robert Baden-Clay was born Gerard Clay in Bournemouth, England, on 9 September 1970. His family migrated to Rhodesia in 1980, where they changed their family name to "Baden-Clay" to associate the family with his father's grandfather, Lord Baden-Powell of Scouting fame. Gerard Baden-Clay would later use other pseudonyms in his increasingly secret fantasy life. The Baden-Clay family later migrated to Australia. Allison June Dickie married Gerard on 23 August 1997. Disappearance of Allison: At 7:30 am on Friday, 20 April 2012, Gerard reported Allison missing from their home at 593 Brookfield Road, Brookfield, Queensland. He claimed she went for a walk at 10 pm the night before and had not returned home. On 30 April, a woman's body was found by a canoeist at Kholo Creek, Anstead, about 13 kilometres (8.1 mi) from the Baden-Clay home in Brookfield. The following day, the body was confirmed to be Allison. Her funeral was held in Ipswich on 11 May. Trial and conviction of Gerard: On 13 June 2012, Gerard was formally interviewed at Indooroopilly police station and charged with Allison's murder and for interfering with her corpse. He maintained his innocence and said he would "be strenuously defending the charges". Gerard's bail application was denied on 22 June because Justice David Boddice said he posed a "significant flight risk". The trial began in the Brisbane Supreme Court on 10 June 2014. Gerard pleaded not guilty to the charges. On 15 July, he was found guilty of murdering Allison and disposing her body. He was given a life sentence with a non-parole period of fifteen years. Appeal of the conviction: On 7 August 2015, Gerard appealed his conviction. On 8 December, his conviction was downgraded to manslaughter. In an unusual move, the Queensland Director of Public Prosecutions appealed against the downgrade. On 31 August 2016, the High Court of Australia subsequently restored the original trial murder conviction. In February 2017, Allison's father was appointed the executor of her estate. It was ruled that Gerard Baden-Clay was not entitled to any benefits from her death. Legacy of Alison's murder: The Allison Baden-Clay Foundation was launched on 31 July 2015. Its aim is to "create a Queensland community that acknowledges the prevalence of domestic and family violence". In March 2018, the first annual scholarship in Allison's memory for an aspiring ballet dancer was announced by the Queensland premier, Annastacia Palaszczuk, who had known Allison as a child.

Mexican food

The next time I make food for my mom and I I'm making Mexican food. That's my mom's favorite type of food and since I've made my favorite type it's time for a change and fair

Tuesday, June 19, 2018


I’ve got bad gas since I’m vegetarian and it’s unfortunately making me gaseous. It’s mainly due to the fiber in the vegetarian and vegan things I eat. Once I ate cooked soy beans and then got horrible gas since the fiber in the soy beans was so high. I usually get gas and am ok since it’s not serious. Once I got the soybeans out of my system my bad gas went away. I usually have my bean and veggie burritos on a weekly basis and I love them. They’re healthy proteins, fill me up with fiber and help with my diabetes. The soy beans I added to a stir fry for easy vegan protein. I forgot they had the adverse effect of making me pass gas but at least the vegan protein it provided I liked since I was lacking it. When I said I wanted to list other vegan friendly proteins that we could eat I excluded tofu for 2 reasons: 1) we know it’s a protein and 2) many people assume it’s the main protein vegans and vegetarians eat. I included things such as: nuts (and its corresponding butters and milks), beans, dairy, eggs and grains (such as in oatmeal).

My favorite books

So I love reading. I like reading true crime books since I love criminal justice stuff. I LOVE reading a book on Gary Ridgway. It’s such a strong love of that book I can re-tell the story nearly verbatim. Interestingly I was able to mention it since we were talking about forgiveness. The reasons I love this book is because it’s super descriptive, something I love and it’s awesome.

My stance for LGBT marriage

When I 1st heard about gay marriage and gay people existed it was like, “ok.” I was like, “that’s not me and I think its OK.” Many people in this generation see LGBT marriage and being transgender as something that’s might not for us (meaning we aren’t gay but our friends and family might be and don’t want to hurt them). In the bible Matthew 7:1, 2 say “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” Sometimes it is quoted in harmony with John 8:7, where Jesus told the religious leaders (in connection with the adulterous woman) ‘let the one among you without sin cast the first stone.’ I don’t think it’s fair to say they’re right and they’re not if were looking at the same holy book (bible, Torah, Talmud, Quran) and we get different things from it. I’m not alone. More Muslims in America accept LGBT people and gay marriage than white evangelicals. Many younger Christians are on the Muslims and what I call “the correct side.”


I love the color. It’s a pretty color, goes well with my brown eyes and has pretty since it’s several shades. I have several things that are pretty and blue. I love my favorite blue studded car ear headband. I have blue nail polish and earrings. Someone liked my blue mouse flats and pretty blue dress. My glasses are purple-blue. I love the color even though it’s considered a “boy” color. My dad thinks my favorite color is pink, which is kind of true but I like blue. My love of blue is because I’m going thru a blue phase, despite being in my 20’s and am usually thought of being done with phases. When I got my blue cat ear headband I said look, cat ear headbands. It was nice and it’s studded. I think part of my love of blue is due to my attraction to a couple guys who wear blue.

visiting teachers and home teachers

I love them for the awesome things they give me. It’s annoying sometimes since my house is so far away and they won’t accept money (it’s about 45 minutes away in you include time from a house and to the farm so I’d offer them gas money at least). Once as a Christmas gift my visiting teacher dropped off a gift at my neighbor’s house. Luckily they gave the gift to me. Another time I’d met my other visiting teacher while trying to cool off (taking off my flannel for a minute). Both visiting teachers were there with a pair of elders. I’d gotten a blessing for my exams and then walked them to their cars. It was nice. So I was waiting for my visiting teacher to get her daughter, I think, and said his name and that’s how I met him. So on mother’s day I was approached by my home teacher and asked if I’d gotten a candy bar. I dug around in my bag and I said yes sir. When I formally met him he said he worked with young men and that if I needed anything to call him. I said yes sir.

Deanna Laney murders

The Deanna Laney murders were those, by Deanna Laney, of her two oldest sons, 8-year-old Joshua and 6-year-old Luke, by stoning. In a 2004 trial, she was found not guilty by reason of insanity. Details: Laney woke up one night in May 2003 and took Joshua to the yard of her home in New Chapel Hill, Texas where she lifted a huge rock over her head and brought it down with all her strength against his skull, killing him. She did the same to Luke. Later on, she tried to kill her youngest son, 14-month-old Aaron, in the same way. He survived, but suffered severe head injuries. During the investigation, Laney claimed God ordered her to bash in her sons' heads. She was a member of an Assemblies of God church, where she sang in the choir. A year earlier, she had told her fellow churchgoers that the world was coming to an end and that God had told her to get her house in order. Later on, she told a psychiatrist that she hoped she and Andrea Yates would end up working together as God's only witnesses at the end of the world. Five mental health experts were consulted in Laney's case: two each by the prosecution and defense, and one by the judge. All of them arrived at the conclusion that she suffered from psychotic delusions which made her unable to know right from wrong at the time of the killings. A Smith County court found her not guilty by reason of insanity. She was committed to Kerrville State Hospital for eight years until her release in May 2012. However, she is subject to a list of conditions, including that she have no unsupervised contact with minors and submit to regular drug tests to ensure that she takes required medication.

Monday, June 18, 2018

Why I like TJ kirk (and other YouTube atheists)

So whenever my brother sees me watching TJ kirk (or any atheist) on YouTube he immediately wants to argue with me. He doesn’t understand atheists have SOME good points such as: telling people about their atheism (or not), where to draw the line on tolerance for religious practices, praying when you’re being irrational as well as others. TJ kirk sometimes makes jokes about certain things (like saying he’s Mormon for an April fool’s day joke) as well making it seem silly to die because of going over a cliff due to buying the rights to a company (see Christians get an F or look up Jimmy Hesseldon). My brother doesn’t understand liberal theology and that we’re all going to be judged 1 day and it’s not our place to judge others (like for drinking, smoking, getting an abortion and LGBT marriage).

Having a door opened for me

Once I was walking around with a cup of hot coffee in 1 hand, my phone on my wrist, back pack on my leg and Bluetooth earphones blasting. I had 1 hand free but a guy came over to me and opened the door for me. I’d reached for it and he opened it for me. I walked over to the 2nd 1 (this building had 2 in orders to keep it clean and warm) and I reached to open it for me but he’d beat me to both. I’m like OK. I think the main reason was because my pants were too baggy and I looked uncomfortable.

Forensic science

I love forensic science because I love criminal justice and I was mistaken as a kidnapped kid (mistaken identity). A former friend got me into it. She thought I’d like this and I fell head over heels for it. I usually mention it when people are talking about forgiveness (usually I mention Gary Ridgway). I was mistaken as a kidnapped kid. Basically my dad’s friend “Joe” and his wife “Sarah” (I don’t actually know their names) called my house prior to July 1997 when my parents were out and a house cleaner was on the phone (and not cleaning the house) saying “Sarah” had given birth to “Joe’s” kid and somehow that got mistranslated to someone has me. “Joe” called back and cleared this all up. My dad apologized to the neighbor, whom he yelled at for letting “the people take me” and the house cleaner. He also promptly fired the house cleaner since she wasn’t doing her job. Even though my dad apologized she remained fired since she wasn’t doing her job. I own a few dozen forensic science books (some true crime and other fiction forensic science). There’s: forensic psychiatry, forensic pathology, forensic accounting, forensic astronomy, serology, use of DNA, CODIS, AFIS, and so many other things. I love forensic science. It’s 1 of the best subjects in the whole wide world. My love of forensic science is contagious as my little brother took it in high school. My whole family supports it as well since I love watching it and they’ll sometimes watch it with me.

joint pain

i'm losing weight and am feeling awesome. 1 unfortunate side effect of losing weight is i'm in TONS of pain. i'm using tons of pain killers to ease the pain. i have scoliosis which is a reason it's harder to lose weight (uneven legs and back pain). luckily i'm able to lose weight and feel a MILLION times better but right now i'm in tons of pain. until i lose the weight and get to my target weight i'll be in pain. luckily there are good days and bad days. on good days i don't need a ton of pain killers and bad days i do.

Saturday, June 16, 2018

why i believe

i love "why i believe" at the LDS visitors center. it's awesome visions of faith. i love them because the visitors center is awesome.

Boy in the Box (Philadelphia)

The "Boy in the Box" is the name given to an unidentified murder victim, 3 to 7 years old, whose naked, battered body was found in a cardboard box in the Fox Chase section of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, on February 25, 1957. He is also commonly called "America's Unknown Child." His identity has never been discovered, and the case remains open. I've seen a video about this: Discovery of the body: In February 1957, the boy's body, wrapped in a plaid blanket, was found in the woods off Susquehanna Road in Fox Chase, Philadelphia. The naked body was inside a cardboard box which had once contained a bassinet of the kind sold by J. C. Penney. The boy's hair had been recently cropped, possibly after death, as clumps of hair clung to the body. There were signs of severe malnourishment, as well as surgical scars on the ankle and groin, and an L-shaped scar under the chin. The body was first discovered by a young man who was checking his muskrat traps. Fearing that the police would confiscate his traps, he did not report what he had found. A few days later, a college student spotted a rabbit running into the underbrush. Knowing that there were animal traps in the area, he stopped his car to investigate and discovered the body. He too was reluctant to have any contact with the police, but he did report his find the following day. Investigation: The police received the report and opened an investigation on February 26, 1957. The dead boy's fingerprints were taken, and police at first were optimistic that he would soon be identified. However, no one ever came forward with any useful information. The case attracted massive media attention in Philadelphia and the Delaware Valley. The Philadelphia Inquirer pressed 400,000 flyers depicting the boy's likeness, which flooded the area, and were included with every gas bill in Philadelphia. The crime scene was combed over and over again by 270 police academy recruits, who discovered a child's blue corduroy cap, a child's scarf, and handkerchief; all clues that led nowhere. The police even went so far as to distribute a postmortem photograph of the boy fully dressed and in a seated position, as he may have looked in life, in the hopes it may lead to a clue. Despite the publicity and sporadic interest throughout the years, the boy's identity is still unknown. The case remains unsolved to this day. On March 21, 2016, the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children released a facial reconstruction of the victim and added him onto their database. Theories: Many tips and theories have been advanced in the case. Although most of these have been dismissed, two theories have generated considerable interest among the police and media, and they have been extensively investigated. The foster home: This theory concerns a foster home that was located approximately 1.5 miles (2.5 km) from the site of the body. In 1960, Remington Bristow, an employee of the medical examiner's office who doggedly pursued the case until his death in 1993, contacted a New Jersey psychic, who told him to look for a house that matched the foster home. When the psychic was brought to the Philadelphia discovery site, she led Bristow directly to the foster home. Upon attending an estate sale at the foster home, Bristow discovered a bassinet similar to the one sold at J. C. Penney. He also discovered blankets hanging on the clothes line that were similar to the one in which the boy's body had been wrapped. Bristow believed that the boy belonged to the stepdaughter of the man who ran the foster home, and that they disposed of his body so the stepdaughter would not be exposed as an unwed mother. He theorized that the boy's death had been an accident. Despite this circumstantial evidence, the police were not able to find any definite links between the Boy in the Box and the foster family. In 1998, Philadelphia police lieutenant Tom Augustine, who is in charge of the investigation, and several members of the Vidocq Society (a group of retired policemen and profilers), interviewed the foster father and the stepdaughter (whom he had married). The interview seemed to confirm that the family was not involved in the murder. The foster home investigation was closed. A DNA test showed that the stepdaughter was not the boy's mother. The woman known as "M": Another theory was brought forward in February 2002 by a woman identified only as "M." Police considered "M"'s story to be plausible but were troubled by her testimony, as she had a history of mental illness. "M" claimed that her abusive mother had "purchased" the unknown boy (whose name was Jonathan) from his birth parents in the summer of 1954. Subsequently, the boy was subjected to extreme physical and sexual abuse for two and a half years. One evening at dinner, the boy vomited up his meal of baked beans and was given a severe beating, with his head slammed against the floor until he was semiconscious. He was then given a bath, during which he died. These details matched information known only to the police, as the coroner had found that the boy's stomach contained the remains of baked beans and that his fingers were water-wrinkled. "M"'s mother then cut the boy's distinctive long hair (accounting for the unprofessional haircut which police noted in their initial investigation) in an effort to conceal his identity. "M"'s mother then forced "M" to assist her in dumping the boy's body in the Fox Chase area. "M" went on to say that as they were preparing to remove the boy's body from the trunk of a car, a passing male motorist pulled alongside to inquire whether they needed help. "M" was ordered to stand in front of the car's license plate to shield it from view while the mother convinced the would-be Good Samaritan that there was no problem. The man eventually drove off. This story corroborated confidential testimony given by a male witness in 1957, who said that the body had been placed in a box previously discarded at the scene. In spite of the outward plausibility of "M"'s confession, police were unable to verify her story. Neighbors who had access to "M"'s house during the stated time period denied that there had been a young boy living there and dismissed "M"'s claims as "ridiculous." Other theories: Forensic artist Frank Bender developed a theory that the victim may have been raised as a girl. The child's unprofessional haircut, which appeared to have been performed in haste, was the basis for the scenario, as well as the appearance of the eyebrows having been styled. Bender later released a sketch of the unidentified child with long hair, reflecting the strands found on the body. In 2016, two writers, one from Los Angeles, California (Jim Hoffmann) the other from New Jersey (Louis Romano) explained that they believed they had discovered a potential identity from Memphis, Tennessee and requested that DNA be compared between the family members and the child. The lead was originally discovered by a Philadelphia man (who introduced Romano and Hoffmann to each other) and then developed and presented, with the help of Hoffmann, to the Philadelphia Police Department and the Vidocq Society in early 2013. In December 2013, Romano became aware of the lead and agreed to help the man from Philadelphia and Hoffmann to personally obtain the DNA from this particular family member in January 2014 - which was sent quickly to the Philadelphia Police Department. Local authorities confirmed that they would investigate the lead, yet they stated that they would need to do more research on the circumstances surrounding the link to Memphis before comparing DNA. In October 2017 the PPD confirmed, through DNA (retrieved by the PPD through the Memphis PD), that the Memphis man and the Fox Chase boy found in the box, were not related. Burial: The Boy in the Box was originally buried in a potter's field. In 1998, his body was exhumed for the purpose of extracting DNA, which was obtained from enamel on a tooth.[10] He was reburied at Ivy Hill Cemetery in Cedarbrook, Philadelphia, which donated a large plot. The coffin, headstone, and funeral service were donated by the son of the man who had buried the boy in 1957. There was significant public attendance and media coverage at the reburial. The grave has a large headstone bearing the words "America's Unknown Child." City residents keep the grave decorated with flowers and stuffed animals. Recent media coverage: The story was profiled in the television series America's Most Wanted on October 3, 1998, and on July 12, 2008. The television series Cold Case, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit have all used fictionalized accounts of the Boy in the Box case. Reporter Mitch Blacher of NBC 10 Philadelphia aired an investigative piece on NBC 10 Investigators on March 2, 2016 entitled, "New Theory on Decades-Old 'Boy in the Box' Cold Case."

Friday, June 15, 2018

Elephants' graveyard

An elephants' graveyard (also written elephant graveyard or elephant's graveyard) is a mythical place where, according to legend, older elephants instinctively direct themselves when they reach a certain age. They would then die there alone, far from the group. i've heard about this in the lion king. Origin: Several theories are given about the myth's origin. One theory involves people finding groups of elephant skeletons together, or observing old elephants and skeletons in the same habitat. Others suggest the term may spring from group die-offs, such as one excavated in Saxony-Anhalt, which had 27 Palaeoloxodon antiquus skeletons. In that particular case, the tusks of the skeletons were missing, which indicated either hunters killed a group of elephants in one spot, or else opportunistic scavengers removed the tusks from a natural die-off. Other theories focus on elephant behaviour during lean times, suggesting starving elephants gather in places where finding food is easier, and subsequently die there. The myth was popularised in films such as Trader Horn and MGM's Tarzan movies, in which groups of greedy explorers attempt to locate the elephants' graveyard, on the fictional Mutia Escarpment, in search of its riches of ivory. Osamu Tezuka's Kimba the White Lion episode "A Friend in Deed" centred around it. More recently, the 1994 Disney animated film The Lion King; as well as the Broadway/West End musical adaptation; referred to the motif. In "Fearful Symmetry," an episode from The X-Files which revolves around a mysterious invisible elephant, a character refers to the mythical concept as fact. Prolific elephant hunter Walter "Karamojo" Bell discounted the idea of the elephant's graveyard, stating that bones and "tusks were still lying about in the bush where they had lain for years". Derivative meanings: -In geology, "elephants' graveyard" is an informal term for a hypothetical accumulation of "large blocks of country rock stoped from the roofs of batholiths". -In military settings, it is sometimes used as a slang term to describe postings or assignments for senior officers for whom there is no potential for further promotion. -In Spanish, the Spanish Senate is often criticised as a cementerio de elefantes where politicians who have lost their previous positions end up doing no productive work. -It is a term for the offices and a secretary provided to former high-ranking executives of large companies (at least in the United States), who have either retired or resigned. An executive who relinquishes or is relieved of authority becomes a consultant (special adviser) where they continue to receive a salary and an office under their contract but has little or no actual responsibilities, until their non-compete agreement expires.

The Licked Hand

The Licked Hand, known sometimes as The Doggy Lick or Humans Can Lick Too, is an urban legend popular among teenagers. Like many urban legends, it has several versions, and has been found in print as early as Feb 1982 - Story "Bedtime for Sam." by DB MArtin in ebdb books and was credited in two films. i've never heard of this until now. Plot: A young girl is home alone for the first time with only her dog for company. Listening to the news, she hears of a killer on the loose. Terrified, she locks all the doors and windows, but either the basement window or some other window in the house will not lock, and goes to bed, taking her dog to her room with her and letting it sleep under her bed. She wakes in the night to hear a dripping sound coming from the bathroom. The dripping noise frightens her, but she is too scared to get out of bed and find out what it is. To reassure herself, she reaches a hand toward the floor for the dog and is rewarded by a reassuring lick on her hand. She lies awake listening to the dripping sound. Each time she feels frightened, she reaches for the dog on the floor and feels a lick on her hand. Eventually she falls asleep. The next morning when she wakes, she goes to the bathroom for a drink of water only to find her dead, mutilated dog hanging in the shower with his blood slowly dripping onto the tiles. On the shower wall, written in the dog's blood, are the words "HUMANS CAN LICK, TOO." Other story variations feature a nearsighted old woman rather than a young girl. The fate of the dog also varies, from the dog simply being hanged to it being skinned, disemboweled, or otherwise mutilated. The message is sometimes written on the floor or on the bathroom mirror rather than on the wall. Some versions include the parents' return and their discovery of the killer hiding elsewhere in the house, frequently the basement, the girl's bedroom closet, or under her bed. In other versions the girl's parents arrive back in the morning and asked if their daughter had a good night. And when she told them that her dog had kept her calm by licking her hand, told her that the dog in question had been locked either in the basement or outside. Which leads to the question of who or what was licking the girls hand. Background: -There is a forerunner in the 1919 story "The Diary of Mr. Poynter" by M. R. James, where a young man absently strokes his dog (as he thinks) while reading an old manuscript account of the sinister death of a young student obsessed with his own hair. Of course, the creature crouching at his side is not the dog. -This legend was featured in the film Campfire Tales, story credited to DB Martin. -In an episode of Showtime's series The L Word, Alice tells a version of the story with her friends as they sit around a campfire. -The episode "Bedsit" from A Scare at Bedtime. -A variation of the story is featured in the film Urban Legends: Final Cut. -A version of the story is featured in Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. -The episode "Family Remains" of Supernatural features an alteration on this story in which a feral child licks the hand of a teenage girl who panics when she realizes that her dog is in the hallway. In this version she sees the dog alive and realizes it's not the pet licking her, although the dog is mutilated when the show's heroes attempt to help the family escape. -The legend is also used by Bloody Mary in the follow-up to Urban Legends Final Cut, entitled Urban Legends: Bloody Mary, as a way to murder one of the high school boys that she sees as guilty for her death. -The legend is referenced in John Dies at the End, where the main character goes to bed (intending to lure out a ghost) and wakes up to find his dog still licking his hand, until he realizes he can hear his dog lapping water from the toilet next door. -The story is partially told by Francis Boulle on a camping trip in an episode of Made in Chelsea (Series 6, Episode 4). -A variation of this story is told by one of the main characters in the premiere episode of The Enfield Haunting. -A variation of this story is written as the backstory for the character Reimi Sugimoto from Jump manga JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Part 4, Diamond Is Unbreakable by Hirohiko Araki.

Thursday, June 14, 2018

more missionary lessons

so i'd ran into a couple elders and they asked about our faith and i said yes and i was Mormon convert. they gave me their pass along card with their number on it. my mom agreed to them coming over.

My grandfather’s passing

Last December I nearly got a temple recommend but I got sidetracked by my exams, family stuff (vacation mostly), and the holidays and most unfortunately, my paternal grandfather’s passing. I had a hard time with it as did my brothers. I’d gotten a priesthood blessing the day before but it was hard seeing my grandpa there in the ER basically dead. Whenever I think about it I’m still sad over it. My brother and I visited him for the last time and he tried getting me to take his name to the temple and do a posthumous baptism for him. I said I had to ask my uncle for permission and it was rejected. Luckily my grandfather didn’t leave me quite after his death. On the way to the graveside service we passed the temple in Kensington.

Temple trip

I got invited to another temple trip. Fun but unlikely I can go.

Triple mocha frappe

So I got 1 today after being out in the heat all morning. I loved it but it was super sugary.

Wednesday, June 13, 2018


when i gave my friends gifts it was candles and the bishop i gave a tie.

long curly hair

I mentioned my hair being long. I love my hair being long since I’m a girl but it’s annoying since it’s long and curly. My long black curly hair is awesome but it’s also super annoying since I rarely brush it and now that I’m not in school I brush it once or twice a week.

Long crocheted skirt

I started doing it and I thought oh I can make it into a skirt and it’s long. I’ll have to wear leggings and pants underneath in order to make it modest. I’m about knee length since it’s very slow because I’m pretty busy. It’s easy and I’m able to do it since it since I love doing my art projects. I tried doing my knitting but I am able to crochet and it’s pretty. It needs to be floor length since I’m barely over 5’.

favorite vegan foods

my favorite vegan foods are: chocolate almond milk, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, rice and beans, vegan cookie dough and veggie burgers.

why i converted to mormonism

So I started fellowshipping with a church. After a year my mom asked if I wanted to be baptized but at that time I was like no thanks because of a new policy about LGBT marriage. Later that semester I started defending the faith. I was like ok fine let’s do this. I decided to be baptized. My family accepted it and is trying to help me in my faith. My mom tries having me watch things and my dad occasionally takes me to church.

Why I’m flexitarian

So I have a serious muscle disorder. My parents were trying to find a “cure” for it. They tried a muscle relaxant but decided against the instructions and only took as needed. About 18 months ago I tried flexitarianism and felt better. It helps with my muscle spasms and is feeling awesome. I occasionally need vitamins since I have energy issues. Now that my muscle spasms are in control I’m optimistic about my driver’s license. That was the main thing in the way of me legally obtaining a license.


My friend Valarie got me into drinking Starbucks drinks and ever since I’ve been hooked on Starbucks though a couple times I tried not going to Starbucks due to the calories, sugar and the money I was spending was out of control and ridiculous. I love pumpkin spice lattes, peppermint mocha and an occasional Frappuccino. The reasons are because it’s cheap, tasty and close by. I also love seasonal things such as pumpkin spice lattes in the fall, peppermint mocha in the winter and a Frappuccino in the warmer months since its cold. Right now we’re in the iced/ Frappuccino season since its super warm. In the fall it’s “pumpkin spice/ apple cider” season. I love getting them as often as I can since I love pumpkin spice things. In the winter it’s usually peppermint mocha season. My usually type is usually large. It’s also usually 1 unless its buy 1 get 1 free. My favorite type is also a large coffee. I also leave room for creme. Once a friend said she knew a guy she thinks is good for marriage for me. My parents said to go for coffee for it since its cheap and easy. He and I could’ve had had a nice conversation.


So I mentioned in dance class I was mormon and then a while later I'd mentioned it again and my classmates forgot I was mormon. Wow. Granted I'm a liberal low-key Mormon but I am 1


I got my new glasses. Everyone LOVES the picture of my new glasses and I'm like, "why? Its just a pair of glasses I need to SEE with." I have no make up on, I'm in a car and it's nothing special. I just have new glasses

Monday, June 11, 2018

Jerry Krause (missionary)

Jerry Krause is an American pilot who served for 22 years with Mission Aviation Fellowship as a missionary in Mali and the Democratic Republic of the Congo, after which he remained in Mali to work for the Sahel Aviation Service. On April 7, 2013, Krause's plane was reported missing off the coast of West Africa, near São Tomé. His disappearance has generated national press coverage, as well as a social media and Internet-based campaign to locate Jerry. Early Life: Jerry Krause was born in Waseca, Minnesota, to Richard and Clarice Krause. His wife Gina was born in Wabash, Indiana; they married in 1982. In 1996, the couple moved to Mali with their three children, to serve as missionaries with the Mission Aviation Fellowship (MAF). Their children grew up in Mali, later returning to the United States for college. After MAF pulled out of Mali in 2009, Jerry and Gina continued to live there, working for Bamako-based Sahel Aviation Service, a commercial air charter company that provides flight service throughout West Africa. Disappearance of Jerry: On April 7, 2013, Krause was in Johannesburg, South Africa, where his twin-engine Beechcraft 1900C 17-passenger airplane had finished undergoing maintenance and refurbishing. On his return trip, he landed in Ondangwa, Namibia to refuel. He departed from there at 10:20 am, intending to go to São Tomé, then Accra, Ghana, and arrive back in Bamako, Mali at 8:00 pm. Krause's last check-in with the control tower was at 4:13 pm. He may have been 20 minutes away from São Tomé International Airport when his plane disappeared. He was the only person on board. Investigation into Jerry's disappearence: According to the Krause family, São Tomé aviation officials did not follow proper protocol, and waited 24 hours before reporting the plane's disappearance. The family filed a missing persons report with the National Transportation Safety Board and the South African Civil Aviation Authority, after which military personnel joined the search. U.S. senators have also requested assistance from the State Department and Department of Defense. The fact that no plane wreckage has been found, led the family to believe that Krause was ambushed or kidnapped after being forced to land in hostile territory. They started an internet-based campaign to spread awareness of the situation and to aid in the search, and offered a $5,000 reward for information leading to Krause's discovery.

phone skills

i'm pretty good at the phone. my mom thinks because I've got Asperger Syndrome (i don't i just have straight up autism) i'm horrible at the phone. I've got phone anxiety, that's all.


i always laughed at Joey's parts. like once he was trying (really badly) to do sit ups and after Michelle and Stephanie helped him do 1 he said, "i'm done." also i LOVE this part between Joey and Jesse: Jesse "Joey phone for you." Joey "i'm busy." Jesse "it's your agent 3...2..1.."

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Back pain and weight

I've got scoliosis and weight issues. I'm also not alone. if someone has a bad back sometimes it'll be harder to maintain a "normal" weight. i'm also a semi-vegetarian but i love food too much so i still ate huge amounts. one way i am able to lose weight is going to weight watchers. it makes me accountable. i can still eat my flexitarian food i want i just need to account it. luckily i can make vegan and vegetarian food while accounting for it. my mom loves it. another thing i'm doing since its hot i drink at least 1 liter of water. it not only helps me weight it also fills me up. also it is easy to drink since i dance a lot and it'll help it.


my family and friends are supper supportive of me. likely because i care for everyone they want to reciprocate. my mom supports me in my faith. when i lost my grandfather i was dragged to the singles ward saying "i needed this". a friend wants to help me in my quest for less pain in my back. scoliosis is a 5 letter word when i'm hurt.

3 weeks straight

there are times i've got to go to 1 ward for several weeks in a row. mom says it's because i love church. more likely she wants me out of the house.


apparently my friends are "blessed" to know me. that's sweet. i know I've got a kind heart and all but wow blessed?

Saturday, June 9, 2018

diet change

since changing my diet my muscle disorder has become more manageable only now giving me bad menstrual cramps. back before i changed my diet i'd get full blown muscle spasms leaving me barely able to cope with daily life (school, church volunteering, etc.) and now i'm better.

selfie stick and video diaries

so while on vacation where a selfie stick was foisted upon me i was the unofficial photographer. my family openly mocked me but it broke so i'm like yay.

free coffee

i once got free coffee by getting someone a cup of coffee. i went to get it and took the escalator up. no way am i walking up stairs with scalding hot coffee in my hands.

Dear diary

One day Julie’s parents were looking for a nice present for Julie’s birthday soon. So one day they were in a store and they found an interesting looking diary. They thought it was a beautiful diary and a good present for her. The clerk asked for a modest price for the diary. When she got the diary on her birthday she loved it and decided to write in it later that day. Later on her birthday Julie decides to write in her diary for the 1st time. She loves it since she never had her own diary before. It was pretty, beautiful and something she could call her own since she didn’t have a ton of things. She wrote a long passage in her diary not thinking anyone but her mom might read it. The next time Julie decided to write in it again something strange happened. She read the diary and writing didn’t look like hers. Wondering she asked her mother if she’d read it and her mom said no. She showed her and it looked like someone else had written in her diary. The mom was creeped out but when the mom tried finding the store they purchased the book she couldn’t find it. Undeterred the mom said enjoy the book. Later on they got a strange knock at the door and it was the store clerk asking for the diary back. The parents said they paid for the thing fair and square. The store clerk said it was cursed. The mom thought about her daughter saying it looked like someone was “talking back” or writing in the diary after they had no idea who it was. The family also read the Harry Potter books and remembered Tom Riddle’s diary. The parent tried finding their daughter but when they found her she was “sucked” into her diary. The clerk reclaimed the book and “freed” the daughter. A few months later another family was looking for a Christmas present for their daughter. The store clerk asked for a modest price and purchased the diary. Another family has to go thru the same thing since they have the diary.

Disappearance of Jason Anthony Jolkowski

Jason Anthony Jolkowski was an American teenager who disappeared under mysterious circumstances on June 13, 2001 while walking towards his former high school to meet his coworker for a ride to work. Life before his disappearance: Jolkowski was born on 24 June 1981. At the time he disappeared, he was attending college part time while working at a local Fazoli's restaurant. His mother described him as “shy”, “a quiet boy” with only “a small handful of friends” and no girlfriend. Missing Status of Jason: On June 13, 2001, Jason Jolkowski called his workplace, Fazoli's, stating that he made arrangements for a coworker to pick him up for his shift at Omaha Benson High School, where Jolkowski had previously attended school, due to his car being at the auto mechanic's. The school was eight blocks from his home. He was last seen by a neighbor, who said he was taking out the trash at his home, presumably before walking to the school. Under an hour later, between 11:15 and 11:30 a.m., Jolkowski's co-worker had called his home stating that Jolkowski had failed to be at the high school for a ride to work. Jolkowski has not been seen or heard from since then. Shortly after his disappearance, the school's security cameras were checked, but none of them showed Jolkowski arriving at the school. Aftermath of Jason's disappearence: His mother and father created Project Jason in his honor to help families through a loved one’s disappearance. In 2005, after lobbying by his parents, "Jason's Law" was passed by Nebraska Legislature, providing for a statewide database on missing persons. Kelly Jolkowski, Jason's mother, later received a Volunteer for Victims award from U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder in 2010 and the Nebraska Governor’s Points of Light Award in 2014 in recognition of her work to support families of missing people.


so yesterday i was out for a walk with my pet Rosie and ran into a couple elders and they asked if i'd ever heard of the LDS church and i said i did as i was 1. that was hilarious.

Every time

So my dad nearly takes my brothers on vacay but for 1 reason or another they don't go. It's annoying

Friday, June 8, 2018

forced upon me

once my mom forced a selfie stick upon me. it was hilarious since i had to use it and everyone thought it was hilarious i was using it

Thursday, June 7, 2018


i love sweat pants. i just put a pair on since i'm going to be changed into my nice outfit for my family picture

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Met my new home teacher

The 1st time I had talked to my home teacher he said he worked with young men and of I needed anything to ask him.


The last time I had guests over I completely forgot to give them the stuff I begged for (I'd intended to give them the stuff since they were helping me with a blessing). Oops my bad.


I feel awkward if I'm available to help and do nothing. Even if it's small like: opening the door for someone.


my new home teacher's way of ministering to me making sure i got a candy bar from the service.

Sunday, June 3, 2018


i find it annoying when i'm trying to mind my own business and people come over to me and stare at me. like a couple weeks ago a few elders were happy i was at the singles ward after being MIA for a couple weeks. they're sweethearts

Walk around during a rain storm

I had to walk to Panera in my nice church shoes. It's ok except they were leather and now my pants, sockies and shoes are all messed up. I'm ok and my feet are a little dirty and my pants are a little wet but it was awesome so I can be able to walk in the rain and be a little kid again.

Saturday, June 2, 2018


1 bad side effect of my semi-vegetarianism is i'm not getting enough iron. my latest blood tests have show that i'm not getting enough iron in my body. when i 1st started the flexitarianism I've had heavy periods. i was better.


it seems like i'm avoiding my friends. i have a few reasons: 1) I've got a bad back and often get sidelined due to it; 2) my family isn't Mormon and therefore am unsure how to bring it up and 3) when i get into a habit it's hard to break.

can't believe

i still can't believe that my former place of volunteering was willing to offer me a place to work and give me a letter of recommendation for college credit.

Friday, June 1, 2018

a "novel" i'm working on

So I’ve made tons of friends several ways. I’ve made them: at church, hanging out living my daily life and being me. I’ve met them at college, Starbucks, dunkin donuts, at the library and all the other places I like “hanging out at.” Once I made a friend by sharing a cookie I’d bought. Coffee and cookies go amazingly together. The ways I make friends are impressive. I’ve had people sit with me at Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, and the library. I’m the eldest and only girl of 4 kids. I have 3 younger brothers. The eldest wasn’t 100% confident until he turned 19. I helped out as much as I could but then I had to have my brother “go it alone.” I’m 1 of 2 kids who are left handed. My baby (youngest) brother and I are left handed. The 2 “middle” brothers are right handed. My parents are right handed and so are my maternal family and my paternal aunt. My paternal uncle is left handed. My family had several health issues such as: scoliosis, type 2 diabetes, asthma, bad eye sight and I also suffer severe muscle spasms and uneven legs from my scoliosis. My brother Michael and dad have asthma. My muscle spasms are preventing me from driving. I’d have to be checked out to make sure I can drive. I’m half Chinese American. My dad’s parents immigrated here 60+ years ago as students and then had my dad to stay here. Weirdly my parents decided not to have my brothers do Chinese school. Interestingly someone thought I was a part of Chinese school despite me not understanding a whole lot of Chinese or looking a lot like an Asian person should be. When I mention something about Chinese people thought I’m a part of the Chinese ward but nope. I barely understand Chinese and was occasionally invited there because of the last name. I went to a Chinese Christmas party and could understand a little bit because of the English. I’m super nearsighted without my glasses. Once when I was out with a friend he asked me how blind I am without my glasses. He noticed I’m blind without my glasses. Not even sure how he knows I can’t see without my glasses but I’m guessing he rarely saw me without my glasses so I’m guessing he knows I’m super nearsighted. I can see basic shape of where someone was and I can see color of people: like their skin color, hair color, what color their clothes are but I can’t see their eye color and other small details like their tie (if they were wearing 1). I’m super nearsighted since I’m unable to see without my glasses. My eyes aren’t as good without my glasses but I can read and still see somewhat. I often forget how to clean my glasses. I’m unable to see without my glasses but since I forget to clean my glasses it doesn’t matter if I can see or not. Once a friend saw me and I forget to clean my glasses I wasn’t 100% able to see him. I cleaned my glasses and saw him. I suffer scoliosis. I’m occasionally in pain. I sometimes need tons of pain killers. Strong ones at that since it are REALLY painful. The bones in my ribs are uneven. My endocrinologist knows about my back and felt my back when I was at my last endocrinologist appointment. My scoliosis has affected me a lot. I usually tie my self-esteem and self-confidence to: is my back hurting? What can’t I do because of my back? Can I do the normal things I usually do with my back? My mom frequently comments on my hair calling it pretty. When I have my hair cut short it’s awesome. It’s ok when it’s longer but I love it short. I have dyed it twice. Whenever I dyed it’s becomes blonde. When it dyed my hair was black at the root and white blonde at the tip. I love my hair as long as it was. I have side bangs. Whenever I do something with my hair it’s usually interesting. From braiding it to purring it into a bun I love doing it. I have 3 brothers. They’re annoying but I usually mention them at church. My parents nearly gave me a sister until I had a 3rd brother. What’s hilarious is when I mention my brothers I never say my brother’s name. Also whenever I mention my family at church I usually mention my brothers 85% more than my parents and the rest of my family (uncles, cousins, aunts etc.). I find it funny when I mention my brother and say, “my brother, my brother, my brother, my brother, my brother, my brother, my brother, my brother, my mom, my dad, my aunt Jacquie.” It’s kind of funny how many times I mention my brothers but never say their names. I love reading. My favorite ones are forensic science stuff. I love reading about serial killers. My 2 serial killer books I have are written by Ann Rule, which I love. I have books on Gary Ridgway, Ted Bundy, Christine Paolila and others which are mostly fiction forensic science stuff. I also love reading pretty little liars and harry potter. They’re awesome. I occasionally read my LDS (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) stuff but I prefer the videos. Some of my hobbies include: reading, watching and making YouTube videos, knitting and crocheting, skateboarding and doing ASL. I also like playing on my computer, watching TV and being with my brothers and family. My mom’s not in favor of me skateboarding but I love it since it’s an intense work out. I also dance frequently. I love being athletic. My family isn’t into dancing as I am but luckily my back helps So I started college in the fall of 2013 as an ASL major. It was something I wanted to get into since my dad said I could use it to pay my way thru college but it became a major. I love ASL and can understand but I’m not fluent in these languages: Spanish, French, ASL, Chinese and Japanese. I’m fluent only in English since it’s my primary language. My grandpa used to joke if I was fluent in English I shouldn’t fail English in college. What I do out of class are making YouTube videos, watching YouTube videos, knitting and crocheting, studying, drinking coffee, being with my family, skateboarding and having fun. My friends some times are into the things I like. Sometimes I’m with Mormons but usually I’m not. Sometimes I’ll get coffee and study at the same time. Caffeine will help me study. Other things I like doing are: going to the library, reading and having sushi. So I joined about 2 years ago. I started fellowshipping 15 months prior. I once asked my dad if he wanted me to go to an LDS event and he said yes. I decided to go since I don’t go out much and he rarely asks me to go do stuff. It helped me with public speaking with me baring my testimony and giving a talk. It was awesome. I’ve made so many friends from the church. I’ve had so much fun with the parties and game nights and hanging out with other people. I’ve hung out with other people and gotten sushi and stuff I love. What’s interesting is that I got a blessing and then the next night I found out my grandfather was in the hospital. I’d gotten another 1 a few weeks ago for my anxiety (the last 2 have been for anxiety over exams) and I was grateful for them. Once I went to game night and laughed until I nearly puked. I was in the group picture. I had to go to another ward because of my mom being out of state. So a weekend after that the elders were happy I’m at the singles ward. The other day I went to the ward my dad takes me to and I was able to help out since I was there. It was nice to be of help. I usually tell them, “give me something to do unless you want me playing on my phone on my iTunes app store.” I opened the door several times, made sure it works and was happy to help out. My favorite foods are: curry, sushi, wraps, Chinese and tons of other things. I love tons of food. I am interesting since I don’t have a favorite food. Once I had a donut and coffee and kids were looking at me since they thought they wanted more food. They liked chocolate. I make food since I’m a flexitarian. I like food since I’m into Chinese food since I’m half Chinese and love it. My friends are into Chinese since they liked it. My friend and I went to Chinese food. He and I got sushi. After he and I had sushi breathes. I’d been pretty quiet since I was thinking about my grandpa. I tried making my friend eat with his left hand. That was funny since he nearly failed. I can as long as I concentrate and then it’ll get easier as I practice. Since I’m a flexitarian I’ve got to make my own stuff. My family doesn’t always make me food that fits into my diet plan. I’ve recently got into almond milk. I got dark chocolate almond milk. It’s awesome and very rarely can you mess up chocolate milk (even if its soy milk).I make tons of good food. Things I usually make are vegetarian and vegan because of my dietary restrictions due to my muscle spasms, which are now in control since my back is in better shape. I love vegetarian foods and my aunt says we can make experimented things so long as we don’t eat the whole experiment since it could be high in: calories, sugar, fat and not good things. I love making vegan cookie dough which is amazing since I love it; it falls into my dietary plan and is sweet. My grandpa passed away unexpectedly last December. He fell in the shower and he fell into a coma. My family was devastated. I had gotten a blessing the night before and I was still devastated. The day he passed away I was forced to go to church my mom saying “I needed this,” and then being forced to watch the Christmas devotional since I needed it as well. Though I was still crying afterwards I told my mom, “Thanks for making me do this.” The day before my grandfather passed away I’d argued with my brother about doing a posthumous baptism for my grandfather. I said absolutely not since I didn’t want to offend my family but then caved in saying, “I’d see.” As I expected when I asked my uncle, who was on the lawyer’s contact list so I figured he’d know best so I asked him. My uncle declined the offer for me to submit my grandfather’s name to the church’s genealogy and the posthumous baptism records. I don’t know how I knew they wouldn’t go for it but I guessed. Sometimes I scream since I’m usually loud. Once I screamed since I had the Holy Spirit with me leading me to read something I wasn’t expecting. My mom had done something in Florida for my grandfather and read the Lord’s Prayer. Later I read it in the book of Mormon I had on me. I didn’t tell my mom and haven’t to this day since I’m not sure how it’ll go down. That’s not the only time the Holy Spirit was with me. Once I was suggested not to get a henna tattoo because I’d get interrupted. 10 minutes later I was being dragged away because my brother called saying we were going out and to come home. So I’ve been able to do amazing dancing since I was a little kid. I’ve also got scoliosis and have hypermobility since I suffer scoliosis. It’s awesome. My mom doesn’t believe me when I say I’ve got hypermobility and can dance amazingly. Although a ton of people would believe me. What’s crazy is my family can’t see it. I’m flexible and can put my legs on counters nearly parallel with my hip. My friends have told me I’m so pretty and I’m not stupid (I’ve seen at least a couple people have crushes on me) but I’ve not had an official boyfriend. I’ve always assumed it’d because they’re stupid. Most of the time boys are dumb and rude. I don’t like them if they act like that. One thing is a few guys have acted chivalrous to me. Opening doors, paying for meals, helping me out with things are a few examples of doing so. Usually they’re super nice, since I’m friendly. My family is super protective of me. I occasionally do have the door opened. Once I had my hand about to open and this guy opened the door for me. A couple times guys and I ate out. Once he paid another we split. Listening to music calms me down a lot. My favorite type that calms me right down is hip hop. I love Airplanes by B.O.B. featuring Haylee Williams. I don’t mind other hip hop songs. I love dancing to it as well. It’s something that calms me down. Listening to the beat is awesome since I like music. Hip hop music has a special rhythm that I love and calms me down since I like listening to it. I’m technically left handed, although I use my right hand some times. I’m ambidextrous for texting, carrying things, using hand rails, opening doors, playing bocce and bowling. I’m right handed for throwing. I’m left handed for eating (usually) and writing. My purse I can carry on either shoulder since I’ve got a lump on my shoulder and it’s usually pretty easy to use on either shoulder. I love skateboarding. My family isn’t as supportive of me skateboarding since I’ve got uneven legs and I’ve got to try having my legs scrapped since I’m able to do it. Occasionally I’ve got to do my skateboarding and it’s nice to do for my weight management. I love it since I’m active, I love acting like a boy and am in sporty clothes so I can do it. Skateboarding is something I need to work on since I’ve got horrible balance. My mom isn’t super in favor of me skateboarding but since I’m able to do it if I practice and if I do it enough. I was once good enough at it I did it in flip flops (bad idea especially if you have foot issues). So I gave a talk in November. It was awesome since my family was there. Once I walked up everyone cheered. I was happy and should’ve said, “Do you feel the spirit in here?” It was awesome. When I finished I took a bow since I had to in order to finish. Everyone said “Great job” and tons of people were killing me with kindness when it came to finishing the talk. Many people were helping me: my mom, my aunt Jacquie (my mom’s sister and who I am named after) and 3 people from church including 1 from the bishopric. It was kind of torturous since my family didn’t WANT to be there but my mom dragged them all there. I love candy. I was “allergic” (mainly it’s a sensitivity) to chocolate. I love eating things like dots and Swedish fish since they’re vegan and don’t tend to trigger a reaction to it. A few weeks ago were mother’s day and I got a candy bar. My home teacher asked if I’d gotten 1. I yanked it out of my candy bar out of my bag. I am able to tolerate chocolate these days. I still have the reaction but it’s less severe. Once a mom of a returned missionary came up to me and introduced her son who had returned a few days prior. She said this was her son. I’d blankly stared at her until the chapter ended on the audio book I was reading (really I was listening to the book). I snapped out of it, met her son and nearly hung out with my friend. He got my number behind my back which freaked me out. It was flattering someone wanted my number and asked me out but could’ve warned me since I was completely blind sighted. I have my own YouTube channel. I usually blabber about whatever I want to talk about. Usually it’s about what I did during the week and anything interesting that happened to me during that time period. Sometimes it’ll be me while on vacation but usually it’s me at home. I usually have me in my videos. I only have my brother in 1 video since it was a clip at his bonfire party. It’s awesome since I had a party. I love painting my nails. My nails are 1 of the only 2 things that continue to grow. I usually paint them whenever I have time and especially if I have a special event: like a baptism or gave a talk. I told my mom, “I have to at least cut and wipe off the polish off my nails. They’re chipping and digging into the heels of my hands so…” My mom agreed and then told me to re-paint them since I was giving a talk and usually talk with my hands.

sheer clothes

I've got a ton of sheer clothes since i run hot. not always modest but still awesome.

fried rice

I've been into making Chinese food. my best dish is fried rice. I've agreed to make it for my mom since she and i are trying to eat healthier and so i make enough fried rice to share with her. my aunt says it's good to experiment so i'm trying several things.