Wednesday, April 29, 2015

i ate a bug club

when i was a senior in high school i joined the "i ate a bug club". i had to eat a chocolate covered cricket to get in. for what its worth its awesome. the kids went nuts over it.

Monday, April 27, 2015

random conversations

every day there is random conversations. there is 1 that stuck with me all these years: it was between me and a basketball player. he asked me about what time my game was and if he had a JV team. the reason that stuck was because of 2 reasons. 1) he never asked what my sport was. 2)he and i existed in a separate but parallel universe almost.

baltimore riots

We are going to publish the mayor's address so the riots have a place to destroy. #BaltimoreRiots; RT @ChefSwaygo: The authenticity in that young man’s face RT @Facezus: Bruh… #BaltimoreRiots; #BaltimoreRiots As a guy who grew up in Cherry Hill, WE NEED PEACE IN BALTIMORE. There's good reason to be... http://fb.me/2536PRvqV; Watching CNN. I don't think the Orioles are playing a home game tonight. #BaltimoreRiots; I am just going to assume the bank is in one of the "spaces" designated by Mayor Rawlings-Blake. #BaltimoreRiots; Obama: "my job here is done." #BaltimoreRiots; Riots & looting right outside my apartment in Baltimore- went into 7/11 to see if employees were ok #BaltimoreRiots; We love humor, but there's really nothing funny about what's happening in Baltimore - please tweet respectfully #BaltimoreRiots; I wish all sides were broadcast but the media will choose a side that is convenient and bring ratings #BaltimoreRiots; I will never understand smashing the hell out of your own town just to protest!! #BaltimoreRiots; Protesters protest. Crooks loot. There's a difference. #BaltimoreRiots; You don't speak out against violence... with more violence ! #baltimoreriots; If anyone in Baltimore who's rioting had a brain they would realize they're going to pay for the damage in taxes #BaltimoreRiots; When are people going to understand that rioting doesn't actually solve anything? You're just hurting yourselves more. #BaltimoreRiots; #BaltimoreRiots are what happens when 2nd Amendment civil rights are taken away from innocent civilians. Concealed carry keeps folks polite; The first bloodshed of the Civil War was during the #BaltimoreRiots. Obama's plan appears to be progressing well...; Just leaving this here. #BaltimoreRiots; There's a difference between a protest & riot! #BaltimoreRiots Whatever the point was gets lost in violence.; Why people still stereotype today. #BaltimoreRiots; #BaltimoreRiots doesn't bring shame to any individual race. Rather, the human race. A dark day for humanity. Hug your family..; Rioters now entering a Checks Cashed #BaltimoreRiots; Something has to change. #BaltimoreRiots; #BaltimoreRiots when did America become a third world country? Oh yes, I Remember ... 2008....; Nothing screams justice for civil rights like looting a CVS, burning out a cop car & terrorizing fans at an Orioles game. #BaltimoreRiots; While the #BaltimoreRiots rage on, there remains one safe place in the city of #Baltimore; So the people of Baltimore want to be treated better by cops so they assault them with bricks and riot? Makes no sense #BaltimoreRiots

best cure for boredom is

#TheBestCureForBoredomIs training your bear to juggle human heads.; Is this really trending? #TheBestCureForBoredomIs action. How could you ever be bored? This world is filled with so many opportunities.; Trying to deconstruct the mind of @SarahPalinUSA #TheBestCureForBoredomIs @MrTommyCampbell; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs https://youtu.be/ngElkyQ6Rhs (I watched 36 times on the plane); #TheBestCureForBoredomIs food and youtube. http://plshd.tv/s1ZL; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs Harry Potter.; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs becomin a vigilente; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs follow random joggers around in your car blasting "Eye Of The Tiger" with your windows down to encourage them.; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs Community.; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs to do some gardening; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs building bunk beds with your step brother and creating so much more room for activities.; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs realizing that I did not choose Pug Life... Pug Life Chose Me; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs firing up the grill for some #BBQ!; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs looking to see how many people added the letter E to the end of Boredom in the hashtag #TheBestCureForBoredomeIs; Now that this beautiful Spring weather has finally arrived, #TheBestCureForBoredomIs is gardening; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs making shapes with clouds...; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs What is this boredom thing you speak of. Can you eat it?; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs a grandchild; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs buttchugging while listening to #TalkingBody; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs learning to translate. My signs are great for any business. Who would like a quote?; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs attaching various weapons to small rodents and forcing them to fight in a coliseum against cats. #wheninRome; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs kitties; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs your girlfriend and boyfriend at the same time.; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs Move house while the kids are at school.; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs listening to music and play hashtags while getting interrupted with work.; #TheBestCureForBoredomIs to eat anything and everything until you're so full that you go into a food coma and must take a nap. No? just me?

nickname

my real name is Jacqueline. i go by Jackie, Jac(k) or JT depending on the situation. once during bocce ball an official said, "the jack is in play." the jack is a nickname for the palina or the target ball. my step-dad said, "it was Jac(k) throwing the jack." that's a weird way of remembering my nickname. my aunt is also named Jacquie. because she spells it a tad differently we don't spell our nicknames the same. I occasionally go by JT since I'm with another Jackie once or twice. that's what i ask my family to call me when my aunt Jacquie is around.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

glitter hair spray

i have 2 cans of glitter hair spray. its so cute. i usually mess up with hair dye. although i love the colors since its hard to spray dye my black hair

super soul sunday

Why surrounding yourself with positive people is "crucial" to your health http://huff.to/1DwzC26 #SuperSoulSunday; "When you are empty, there is love. When you are full of the ego, love disappears. Love and ego cannot exist together." #SuperSoulSunday; "We already have everything we need. There is no need for self-improvement." #startwhereyouare #supersoulsunday; Belief trumps genes .... Yassssss 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽 #SuperSoulSunday; Practicing pleasure more often energetically elevates your life. #SuperSoulSunday; In some cultures, the older you get, the more celebrated you are. #grannybaby #SuperSoulSunday; Catching up my #SuperSoulSunday on my DVR this show has been such a blessing to me!; Just finished watching #SuperSoulSunday. Thanks you @DrChrisNorthrup and @Oprah! So many gems to take away.; Believe in your dreams. Believe in your goals. Believe in yourself! #SuperSoulSunday #RecoveryWarriors; "Embrace the glorious mess that you are." -@GilbertLiz #SuperSoulSunday #SimplyLove http://huff.to/1DnYvg6; Love all animals. #SuperSoulSunday; That was a really great show and short! Thanks SuperSoulers for another great Sunday together! #SuperSoulSunday; Thank you for joining us! Have a great #SuperSoulSunday!; Be willing to own the pain, but then not make it a dwelling. @DrChrisNorthrup @Oprah #SuperSoulSunday; "If you stay in blame, that is shame based" Step out of it for a second, feel it, then ask to be guided & listen!" #SuperSoulSunday Bing; What keeps you ageless is how you deal with life challenges #SuperSoulSunday; Reject the notion that age causes a decrease in your value. #SuperSoulSunday; Powerful statement: Forgiveness is releasing yourself from self-entrapment. #SuperSoulSunday; Forgiveness is so important for our souls and bodies. Forgive for your well-being. #SuperSoulSunday @Oprah @DrChrisNorthrup; "You gotta feel it, to heal it" #SuperSoulSunday ☀️💛😊; My grandmother is 92.Her rituals of pleasure are Bible study & a crossword puzzle. She is joy rising #SuperSoulSunday

spaceballs

i love space balls. its a parody of star wars. i love space balls but hate star wars. i love the music from the movies but i hate everything else. i know the major plot lines of star wars but don't like it. i get all the jokes space balls makes since i know the basic plot lines.

fatten a movie

Fat Times at Ridgemont High #FattenAMovie; I Heart Mike Huckabees #FattenAMovie; Starcrunch Wars: The Scone Wars #FattenAMovie; Gluttony on the Bounty #FattenAMovie; Three coins in a chocolate fountain #FattenAMovie; Bridget Jones Dairy #FattenAMovie; A Lard Day's Night #FattenAMovie; She's Cholesterol That #FattenAMovie; Little Debbie And The Temple Of Doom #FattenAMovie; #FattenAMovie Love Handles Actually; Life of Pie #FattenAMovie; #FattenAMovie Dude wheres my carvery; The Cookie, The Beef, His Wife & Her Blubber #FattenAMovie; #FattenAMovie Puddington; #FattenAMovie Walk the Buffet Line; #FattenAMovie Gastric band of brothers; #fattenamovie Supperman; Fry Hard #FattenAMovie; Buffet the Vampire Slayer #FattenAMovie; Eat The Fockers #FattenAMovie #pbd; #FattenAMovie The Incredible Bulk; 10 things I ate about you #FattenAMovie; Shakespeare In Lard #FattenAMovie; Mo Butter Blues #FattenAMovie; My morbidly obese Greek wedding #FattenAMovie; #FattenAMovie Life of Lane Bryant; #fattenamovie Eat Pray Love Eat Again and Again; #fattenamovie Beauty and Obese; Dude, Where's My Carbs? #FattenAMovie; #fattenamovie Overweighting for Godot; #FattenAMovie Forrest Lump; #FattenAMovie O'bese where art thou

Saturday, April 25, 2015

mind games

I hate it when guys play mind games with a girl. they call you and tell you they like you and they don't call back. another example is a guy who I'm friendly with shows up at my graduation, claps as a way of congratulating me and then think I drop off the face of the universe for 6 months, despite being friends with my brother. why do guys do that?

Monday, April 20, 2015

hamming it up for the camera

my kids love me and when i have my camera on they make it seem so funny. it also seems like its chaos, which it is. many of the kids are in the background.

Zyan we've missed you

RT FOR A ZAYN SOLO MUST BE FOLLOWING ME OR I CAN'T ADD YOU x 2 MINUTES! #ZaynWeveMissedYou; *me at school* teacher:to solve for x you hav.. me:ma'am? teacher:yes? me: x is a kiss by the way ha it's not a mystery. #ZaynWeveMissedYou; I hope zayn never notices he still has the 1D in his username #ZaynWeveMissedYou; WHEN I FOUND OUT ZAYN TWEETED #ZaynWeveMissedYou; #ZaynWeveMissedYou this trend made my day! I'm sure he knows how much we love and support him omg I'm so happy; #ZaynWeveMissedYou it's trending; ZAYN GIRLS OR NOT, IM SO PROUD OF THOSE FANS WHO STAYED THROUGH HIS UPS AND DOWNS #ZaynWeveMissedYou; Im still hoping and praying that he comes back one day, and find his true happiness being on One Direction #ZaynWeveMissedYou; The fandom when zayn tweeted #ZaynWeveMissedYou; "Zayn finally came online" "He thanked the real fans" "X is a kiss by the way" #ZaynWeveMissedYou; "3/5 IN SUITS" "HARRY'S THIGH TATTOO" "LILO WRITING SONGS" "LOUIS' FOOTBALL MATCH" "ZAYN TWEETED" #ZaynWeveMissedYou; FAV if you love to zayn still #ZaynWeveMissedYou; Dear Diary Been days since Zayn tweeted. Today, he finally tweeted. I've missed him, Niall #ZaynWeveMissedYou; I'm so incredibly happy that zayns family has stuck by his side through all this just like us #ZaynWeveMissedYou; "ZAYN TWEETED TWICE" "ZAYN THANKED US" "ZAYN DIDN'T REMOVE THE 1D ON HIS NAME" fandom rn: #ZaynWeveMissedYou; TO ALL THE ZAYN GIRLS WHO STAYED AND DIDNT STOP SUPPORTING ZAYN #ZaynWeveMissedYou

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

daily thoughts in 4 words

no coffee no workee; #DailyThoughtsIn4Words "That would be great."; What day is it? #DailyThoughtsIn4Words; Time for drink yet? #DailyThoughtsIn4Words; i want a donut #DailyThoughtsIn4Words #Badnightchat; Is it Friday yet? #DailyThoughtsIn4Words; Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. Snacks. #DailyThoughtsIn4Words; "Dance like nobody's watching..." #DailyThoughtsIn4Words; Should start diet tomorrow!! #DailyThoughtsIn4Words; #DailyThoughtsIn4Words Never ever give up

Sunday, April 5, 2015

prom

the day of prom i was recovering from a blood sugar attack. everyone was excited to see Jevan (me and my BEST friend Evan) at prom together. the weeks prior everyone wanted to see us together (namely see if he would say yes to prom). they also wanted to know our colors. i had lunch with my step-father at a sushi place -Yo yogi's my favorite; we'd gotten my boutonniere for Evan minutes earlier. my other friend Emily given me a make over. she had me do all this stuff just for Jevan's prom night. my step-dad dropped off the boys (my brothers) and Emily. i promised Emily a detailed account the next day. i was riding in a "stretch van" which was just our mini van. I'd gotten into Jeff's car. Jeff is my step-dad. unfortunately, it was a low seat so i wasn't sure where we were. we walked up Evan's driveway (we'd parked on the street) so i was nervous. but not as nervous as he was. I'll get to that later in the story. so what I'd said when i walked in was, "where's Ev.... whoa." because i couldn't see him from my vantage point when walking into the house. i have to say, he looked hot we walked in. i gave him the boutonniere to Evan saying, por vous. (por vous means for you in french) his mom got out my courage and gave it to me. the parents (my mom, step-dad and Evan's) went to work on pinning it on him while i slid my thing on my wrist. we then took pictures. mom would NEVER have let me walk outta the house without pictures before prom. we then went to Sakura's, the restaurant Evan chose. we ordered. unfortunately, that's when my blood ran low. we got our drinks and i was like, "yay fake sugar." i decided i needed my pill. i reached for my purse. unfortunately, Evan did too. why? because as he puts it "he's a gentleman." right then a large group on NWHS kids came in. when they saw us some said hi and how pretty i looked. we had our dinners and then we talked with some of the kids from NWHS. the boys went cra cra over me. as Evan's dad put it "Evan was a lemming." when we left i turned my arm and did a 3 finger wave and said, "bye boys." again they went cra cra. we chilled at Evan's house for a bit. Evan and his parents did some stuff. i decided to check my phone for any messages. there were a few from mom. minor prom tips. Evan and his dad came back and i reported what Evan's mom was doing. Evan, his dad and i sat at the dining room table talking about the boutonniere and corsage combo. then Evan wants to sit next to me and got nervous to do so .... in his own house. Evan's mom got back and we went to prom. Jevan got into prom, got our pics taken and voted prom king and queen. after that we barely spent 3 songs together. we WERE there as friends. we danced 1 slow song together. twice we were told, "we were cute together." several times i was told how pretty i was. it was nice to see Evan happy. when they announced the king and queen was the slow song. i decided to walk around and when i saw Evan and the teachers i was like, "hide me." too bad they saw me and i did the walk of shame. after that song we danced solo. we ran into each other a few minutes before we were to get picked up. we danced a few songs later. at after prom we took silly pictures in a photo strip (the funny thing was that EVAN took up 99% of the space) and got a caricature together. he and I acted silly the night away. did i mention Evan was hot? he was. not many guys do in suits. he does. for some reason my mom suggested we (Evan and i) wear red and black to prom with our courage and boutonniere be a red rose. i had to have my nails (fingers and toes) be red. i opted to have a black design it. the boutonniere had fewer baby's breath on it than the corsage. because of my freakishly small wrist and hand it fit easily. Evan spent increasing amounts of time with me prior to prom. he argued that were team mates. that explained 97% of the time. what about the senior banquet?

the face on the milk carton series

I've decided to do a review of the milk carton series. its about a girl who sees herself on a missing person poster on a milk carton. the reason I'm writing this is because i was mistaken for a kidnapped kid.

Jesus pick up lines

Magdalene and I were just a fling... Unless you're into having a holy trinity. #JesusPickUpLines; #JesusPickUpLines C'mon baby, I'm hung like this; "girl you're 70% water but I can make you whine all night long" #JesusPickUpLines; Did you fall from heaven? I did... #JesusPickUpLines; Of course I can turn your water into wine. The real question is what vintage year? #JesusPickUpLines; Uncross those legs and I'll nail you hard #JesusPickUpLines; #JesusPickUpLines Do you pray here often?; I'm a Messiah in the streets and Satan in the sheets. #JesusPickUpLines; I'm pretty good at missionary #JesusPickUpLines; Lets play Carpenter. First we get hammered, then I nail you! #JesusPickUpLines; I'm always down for a second coming #JesusPickUpLines;You know, my father is the #1 best selling author of all time #JesusPickUpLines; "Let's get our nails done." #JesusPickUpLines; Moses isnt the only one whos gonna have a burning bush #JesusPickUpLines; I've been reading up the book of Numbers... But I can't seem to find yours. Mind helping a playa out? #JesusPickUpLines; Let me show you how large my crucifix is #JesusPickUpLines; If you're going to the bar, grab us two waters. Yes, water. Trust me babe. #JesusPickUpLines; Noticed you're wearing a cross. Funny story actually… #JesusPickUpLines; Oh, you're a virgin? So's my mom. #JesusPickUpLines; You're causing a res-erection in my pants #JesusPickUpLines; I got nailed, now it's your turn #JesusPickUpLines; Are you ready to accept the body of Christ? #JesusPickUpLines; #jesuspickuplines i'll show you something that doesn't take three days to rise; Are you a Jehovah's Witness? Cause I'm about to bend Jehovah and let you witness this dick. #JesusPickUpLines; My Dad's kind of a big deal. I turned water into wine. Been reading the Book of Numbers, but I can't seem to find yours. #JesusPickUpLines

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Ruin a movie with Hitler

The Secret Life Of Adolf Hitler. #RuinAMovieWithHitler; Big Night of the Long Knives #RuinAMovieWithHitler; #RuinAMovieWithHitler Finding Hitler; #RuinAMovieWithHitler The Hitler Games; Night at the Holocaust Museum RT @Popehat: National Socialism's Aryan House. #RuinAMovieWithHitler; #RuinAMovieWithHitler Adolf Hitler: A series of unfortunate events; Three wrongs don't make a Reich #RuinAMovieWithHitler; 'One Flew Over The Eagle's Nest.' #RuinAMovieWithHitler; Hitler hears a Jew #RuinAMovieWithHitler; Four weddings and 8 million funerals #RuinAMovieWithHitler; The Jew Games: Catching Fire #RuinAMovieWithHitler; #RuinAMovieWithHitler A Streetcar Named Hitler; The good, the bad and the nazi #RuinAMovieWithHitler; He's Just Not That Into Jews #RuinAMovieWithHitler; It's a Wonderful Reich #RuinAMovieWithHitler; The Grand Hitler Hotel #RuinAMovieWithHitler; I know what Jew Did Last Summer #RuinAMovieWithHitler; One Fuehrer Over the Cuckoo's Nest. #RuinAMovieWithHitler; Adolf Hitler And The Gas Chamber Of Secrets. #ruinamoviewithhitler; Close Encounters of the Third Reich #RuinAMovieWithHitler; #RuinAMovieWithHitler District Nein; Dude, Where's My Czechoslovakia? #RuinAMovieWithHitler; #RuinAMovieWithHitler Nein to Five; #RuinAMovieWithHitler Concentration Camp Rock; The Hitler wears prada #RuinAMovieWithHitler; Hitler's List. #RuinAMovieWithHitler; Hitler Hears a Jew #RuinAMovieWithHitler; #RuinAMovieWithHitler 10 things I hate about Jews; #RuinAMovieWithHitler Adolf Hitler and the Chamber of Gas; Honey, I shrunk the Jews #RuinAMovieWithHitler

Friday, April 3, 2015

my TRIP to CVS

i was going to CVS and there was some construction going on. i was running and wasn't paying attention so i tripped. i limped the rest of the way to CVS, got my meds and limped home. i had a scraped pair of feet. was i sore? you bet. was i gonna let that get in my way of doing stuff? hell no.

make a quote whiny

Call me Ishmael, but not when I'm texting, cause that'd be, like, so annoying #MakeAQuoteWhiny; Do you feel lucky, punk? 'Cause I sure don't. #MakeAQuoteWhiny; My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, and TOTALLY messed me up for life! Prepare to die. #MakeAQuoteWhiny; Go ahead make my day punk! Ow! You broke my nose! #MakeAQuoteWhiny; Health is the greatest gift Contentment the greatest wealth. Really Buddha? Let's see CrossFit make my student loan payment #MakeAQuoteWhiny; Let them eat cake! But can't they eat it somewhere else? #MakeAQuoteWhiny; #MakeAQuoteWhiny? why can't you just do it for me?; It's A Bird! It's A Plane! *splat* Nope! It's A Bird. #MakeAQuoteWhiny; If you like your Doctor, you can keep your Doctor, just not my Doctor! #MakeAQuoteWhiny; I have a particular set of skills. Honest, I do. Why don't you believe me? #MakeAQuoteWhiny; Why? whhhhhhyyyyy? Wire Hangers? srsly? You know how I feel about those..I am going to have a meltdown .#MakeAQuoteWhiny; #MakeAQuoteWhiny Damn the torpedoes! Damn them all! Why are they always headed towards us?; I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto. Nice map reading skills, Loser. #MakeAQuoteWhiny; Alright Mr. DeMille, I've been ready for my close-up for, like, a half an hour now. #MakeAQuoteWhiny; Frankly my dear I just can't even #MakeAQuoteWhiny; I feel the need...the need for speedy relief. #MakeAQuoteWhiny; Why haven't you called? #MakeAQuoteWhiny; I came. I saw. Can I go home now? #MakeAQuoteWhiny; As you wish, as usual #MakeAQuoteWhiny; Roses are red. I'm so blue. #MakeAQuoteWhiny; I came, I saw, aw, these people aren't worth conquering! #MakeAQuoteWhiny; You're gonna need a bigger boat, than this piece of crap #MakeAQuoteWhiny; Give a man a fish & you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish & he'll complain about never catching anything #MakeAQuoteWhiny; I want the TRUTH! "You Can't Handle the Truth.." Dude. seriously? I can handle it *pouts* #MakeAQuoteWhiny; Romeo...Romeo....Where fore art thou, Romeo? Seriously. I'm tired of looking. #MakeAQuoteWhiny; Ask not what you country can do for you, but what you can do for this headache you're giving me. #MakeAQuoteWhiny

easter egg

in the place i work we made Easter eggs. so cute

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

bad prank in 5 words

#BadPrankIn5Words I review things! Let's date!; Refills lube with hand sanitizer. #BadPrankIn5Words; Apply 'Religion Bill' to tweets #BadPrankIn5Words; Accused of Giving Patient 0rgasms #BadPrankIn5Words; Jokingly cancelling Skate and Surf #BadPrankIn5Words; #BadPrankIn5Words Got you the Legend Blues!; Mix M&M's In With Skittles #BadPrankIn5Words; Deliver an empty pizza box. #BadPrankIn5Words #AprilFools; Zayn is returning to 1D #BadPrankIn5Words; "There's no more wine left." #BadPrankIn5Words; "Got tickets, threw them away..." #BadPrankIn5Words; Replacing your weed with weeds. #BadPrankIn5Words; #BadPrankIn5Words Only it lasts 8 years...; "I'm going to public school." #BadPrankIn5Words #Homeschooled; No beach trip this year. #BadPrankIn5Words; We plead guilty your honor. #BadPrankIn5Words; Switch Cop's mace with Silly String. #BadPrankIn5Words; Fake barf at Bulimia convention #BadPrankIn5Words

injury

i got injured once after canoeing with the girl scouts. i blindly (i'm nearly blind w/o my eyeglasses) jumped off a ledge. i knew there were rocks but want sure where they were. i got to visit the ER. my scar on my leg looked like a cursive lowercase G. roughly a week after that i, along with my brothers, went off to china.

doctors appointments

i hate going to doctors appointments. i've been going to them recently mostly to get paid for volenteering at the place i work. i've been working my butt off for the past couple of months.