Monday, March 30, 2015

lies told on mondays

Yeah, of course I got laid at the weekend! #LiesToldOnMonday; I'm definitely gonna go to the gym right after work today. #LiesToldOnMonday; #LiesToldOnMonday starting today i won't eat any more twinkies i swear; #LiesToldOnMonday Of course I'll call you after work today. (mumbles " soon as I remember your name.."); I'll have that project finished and on your desk by Wednesday lunchtime! #LiesToldOnMonday; Tired? Noooo. * Pours 8th cup of coffee * #LiesToldOnMonday; #LiesToldOnMonday I really want to hear about your 1yr old's birthday party. Got more cake on her than in her, you say.; #LiesToldOnMonday "Good" Morning; Sunday services lasted until 3am and had open bar. Sorry but I'm a dedicated parish member. #LiesToldOnMonday; T.G.I.M. #LiesToldOnMonday; fine, and you? #LiesToldOnMonday; My new guy's so sweet. We fell asleep in each other's arms... #LiesToldOnMonday; #LiesToldOnMonday No, I don't use bathroom breaks to play hashtag games.; This will be my most productive week ever!!!! #LiesToldOnMonday; I love looking at your vacation pictures on Facebook. All 300 of them. #LiesToldOnMonday; That was some wild party! #LiesToldOnMonday; I regret nothing. #LiesToldOnMonday;

rejected nail polish ideas

Black Plague (available in matte) #RejectedNailPolishColors; Finger-through-toiletpaper Brown #RejectedNailPolishColors; Red Wedding #RejectedNailPolishColors; #RejectedNailPolishColors prolapse purple; Emo-Soul Black #RejectedNailPolishColors; 50 Shades Of Grey #RejectedNailPolishColors; #RejectedNailPolishColors Lannister Gold.; Starbucks Girl White #RejectedNailPolishColors; #RejectedNailPolishColors The Elmer the Elephant...; White Privelege #RejectedNailPolishColors; #RejectedNailPolishColors Indiana Bigot Red; It's that time of the month Red #RejectedNailPolishColors; Contusion Blue #RejectedNailPolishColors; #RejectedNailPolishColors I'm So Shallow I'm Clear; Nicotine Stain; No Tipping Please, I'm Rich; Plain Old Red; Medium Rare; Sudden Period #RejectedNailPolishColors; Freshly Printed Divorce Papers White #RejectedNailPolishColors; Stripper Pole Silver #RejectedNailPolishColors; Grad student tears #RejectedNailPolishColors; White Entitlement #RejectedNailPolishColors; Door-Slammed Purple #RejectedNailPolishColors; My Monthly Magenta #RejectedNailPolishColors; Neck Hickey Cover-up #RejectedNailPolishColors; Virgin Cherry Pop #RejectedNailPolishColors; Michael Jackson White #RejectedNailPolishColors

Monday, March 23, 2015

change a word ruin a quote

We gonna put our names on the sidewalk, call it the Walk of Fame! #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; "In a gentle way, you can shave the world." - Mahatma Gandhi #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote;Life is like a box of tampons #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; If you can't stand the meat, get out of the kitchen. #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; Don't judge a book by its movie. #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; Nothing is certain except for death and taxis #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote "To infinity, and BeyoncĂ©"; #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote "I tweet, therefore I am."; Give a man a kitten and you feed him for a day; teach a man to kitten and you feed him for a lifetime. #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; "If at first you don't succeed, try, try a gin." #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote I've always depended on the kindness of squirrels; I knew John Holmes. John Holmes was a friend of mine. You sir are no John Holmes. #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote "Keep your friends close....but your bacon closer"; I did not have Texmex with that woman... #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote "Say 'hello' to my vegan friend."; “You will never walk again, Bran,” the pale lips promised, “but you will twerk.” #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; "A mind needs memes as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; "The name's Bond. Ionic Bond" #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; And God said, "Let there be emojis!" #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; The way to a man's heart is through his prostate. Trust me. #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; "Speak softly, and carry a big selfie stick." #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; There is nothing to fear but 'robot-bees' itself #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; Psychopathy means never having to say you're sorry #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; "Use the gun, Luke." #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; "We accept the insulin we think we deserve" #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; One Direction to rule them all One Direction to find them One Direction to bring them all & in the darkness bind them #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; Where there's a will, there's an inheritance #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; "My Mama always said, 'Life was like a box of STDs; you never know what you're gonna get.'" #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; "Draw me like one of your Tinder girls." #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; 'You Miss 100% Of The Shots You Don't Order.' #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote #Cheers; Possession is nine-tenths of the exorcism #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different unicorns.” #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; "say hello to my little pony" #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; Good things come to those who lubricate. #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; With great breasts comes great responsibility. #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote 'See a penny, pick it up and all that day you'll have someone's piss on your hand'; "Four whores and seven years ago...." #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote 'The road to hell is paved with good adventures'; A man's best friend is his hand #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; I love the smell of Twitter in the morning ... #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; he names Bond. Covalent Bond. #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; The name's Bond. Savings Bond. #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; "With great power comes great bills". #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be Photoshop. #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; People in crack houses shouldn't throw stones #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; The city that never naps #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote 'A friend with weed is a friend indeed'; "I'll be black" #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; "Buns Forrest, Buns!" #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less Audi-ed... #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; We're gonna need a bigger toilet. #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote "What we've got here is a failure to consummate"; Love means never having to say you're sober. #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; When life gives you lemons, make lemon pasties. #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote Kanye feel the love tonight?; The quickest way to a mans heart is through this chest #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; It's not over til the fat lady strips #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; Objects in the mirror are grosser than they appear #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; "Life is like a box of condoms" - Forrest Gump #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote "If the glove don't fit, you must still consider the rest of the overwhelming evidence".; "Float like a butterfly, sting like a STD." #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; "Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only guns can do that."- MLK #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go on Twitter. #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; I will find you and I will feed you - Liam Neeson #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what would you do for a Klondike bar.; A gangbang is only as strong as it's weakest link #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote; You're a lizard Harry #ChangeAWordRuinAQuote

Friday, March 20, 2015

cubby face

my preschooler named Hunter has a chubby face. he's so cute. i especially like him with his cute smile. imagine his mouth filled with yogurt.

mother nature

will someone tell mother nature not to have all 4 seasons in 1 month? thanks; can someone tell mother nature to pick a temperature? That'd be great;Today is officially the First Day of #Spring! Could someone please wake up Mother Nature and let her know?;It's the first day of Spring! too bad Mother Nature hasn't gotten the memo yet; Mother nature didn't get the memo but at least we did. Happy #FirstDayOfSpring!; Mother Nature is like a girl trying to decide what to wear; Mother Nature needs to make up her mind and stop playin'; Mother Nature, you're on crack; I guess Mother Nature just wanted everyone to get home in time for some good College Basketball today; go home mother nature you're drunk; Mother Nature does not like baseball this year; I'm actually 100% sure that Mother Nature is drunk.; Warm cloudy weather makes is mother nature's way of confusing human beings.; My guest lecture on the signaling theory of education was canceled due to snow. Well played, Mother Nature.; 54 today, 59 tomorrow. Then Monday, 45 and snow. MAKE UP YOUR MIND UP MOTHER NATURE.; Mother Nature is all like "JK LOL, guys!" #firstdayofspring; First day of spring and it's going to snow 3 inches. Nice! Screw you MOTHER NATURE! (I wonder if she reads her indirects) it's too beautiful out for us to lose today even mother nature is rooting for us. Mother nature must hate baseball season; Mother Nature: hey, guys, it's springtime! Time for nice weather! Pennsylvania: nah; Why does Mother Nature hate Ohio so much??; Mother nature said whiteout for #WhiteTeam Mother Nature gave us a 63 degree day and a snow day all in the same week. Typical bipolar woman;First day of spring? Go home mother nature you're drunk.; Going to court to emancipate myself from mother nature.; Typical how only two hours after the eclipse we have totally clear cloudless skies, perfect for viewing an eclipse. gg mother nature; Listen mother nature if you're going to ruin the first day of spring with snow you could've at least given us a decent amount; Mother nature is kinda angry for what happened last night; Spring arrives today....can you please tell mother nature to stop sending us snow. Thanks! #riseandgrind #cowbellfriday; First day of spring. Don’t screw it up, Mother Nature.;Why is Mother Nature tryin to bully me today. When she knows damn well I'm trying to film a fashion video.; THANK YOU all for a fantastic #trailtime chat! Of course, now that we're excited for spring Mother Nature will bring us snow...; Mother Nature has been on our side this week and looks like our field is a go for opening weekend of IIAC play starting tomorrow vs Simpson!; the biggest fan of mother nature;I think a text from Mother Nature saying "you're not prego, hopefully I'll see ya next month" would be enough.. but instead we suffer #whyhere i'm gonna be a huffpost writer "Mega Man is the true villain. Dr. Wily is simply trying to return the Earth back to Mother Nature."; Instead of getting periods, can girls just get a text once a month from mother nature saying 'you're not pregnant have a nice day!'; Spring officially starts Friday. The same day we could see some snow flakes. Mother Nature is just being disrespectful.; Alright Mother Nature, you can't have gorgeous spring weather one day and then winter weather the other one... It's confusing.; Damn, it's like Mother Nature doesn't want baseball to start in New York; Shout out to Mother Nature for hooking us up with this beautiful weather. #blessed; Just when I thought the roads in Stephenville couldn't get worse Mother Nature is like let me throw a river in there too.; It's cool Mother Nature, I'm bipolar too.; sometimes I really wish mother nature was an actual person, because- let's face it- she's due for a beat down; How is Mother Nature about to play us like that it was just 70 degrees two days ago; Dear Mother Nature: You were a beautiful woman......Yesterday. Sincerely Josh; Instead of getting periods, can girls just get a text once a month from mother nature saying 'you're not pregnant have a nice day! see you next month'; gazing across the pond observing new life bursting forth so w/resurgence renewal Mother Nature shook off her fleece coat &smiled #MSpoetry; Mother Nature is such a tease #WeWantYesterdaysWeather; Hey if you're feelin frisky & fun, try a passion tea lemonade sweetened with peach. It tastes like Mother Nature put her balls in your mouth; S/O to Mother Nature for cleaning off the track herself so we didn't have to shovel it this year!; Mother Nature you get a high five today; Oh Mother Nature!! Close 'em!! Jeez woman!; Varsity Alert: in order to beat mother nature at her own game - we are changing game times for tomorrow vs. Byron. We will play at 4:30 away; Caught Mother Nature painting the world spring today! I hope things are turning green where you are. #blossoms; Springs right around the corner, so naturally my sinuses are all sorts of clogged. Damn you Mother Nature.; first time see nice nice Mother Nature ha ha; GET IT TOGETHER, Mother Nature. You have 4 days; okay Mother Nature just make every day feel like today and it'll all be okay; Mother Nature applies all her rules...all the time.; Blowing on a dandelion? Congratulations! You just got catfished by Mother Nature.; Mother Nature officially hates my hair, every time I blow dry it she cries… #moodycow; Starting to think Mother Nature is not a baseball fan; Mother Nature is hitting the pipe again; Dear Mother Nature, Please, please, please don't rain. It's time to play some baseball! Sincerely, EHS Baseball; Maintaining a feminine appearance in line w/ societal expectations is like painting the Golden Gate Bridge: a losing battle w/ Mother Nature; This is a real apple in an apple! Thank you Mother Nature; instead of periods, why cant mother nature just send us a text saying "yo girl, you're not pregnant. See you next month"; Honestly aside from mother nature's bad doings, the assembly was wonderful, another great success from ASB;"Dear Mother Nature, Can you stop being so bipolar? -Sincerely, Everyone in New Jersey"; it always rains on days i want to do things outside... and i never want to do things outside. I'm suing mother nature;

Thursday, March 19, 2015

1st day of HS 2011

my junior year was OK. my brother started HS that year. his 1st day went..... OK i think once i steered him in the right direction (literally). OK so he didn't know what to get, bus to go on (the bus thing is normal since there are changes). he didn't even know to go to the auditorium his 1st day. i found my homeroom and took off. unfortunately, my brother and 2 of his friends who are in the same grade as him followed me. i didn't hear or see them until i was close to my homeroom. that's normal since i had to dash off to homeroom. i told them where to go and then i ran off myself