Monday, June 29, 2015

warning

#Warning: When you're hopped up on anxiety, your body releases cortisol, which can lead to breakouts.; the RSPCA urge you to call 999 if you see a dog in a hot car. #dogs #heat #warning #summer; News: Tourists heading to Greece warned to take enough cash for emergencies: The Foreign Offi... http://bit.ly/1Ntj0O7 #travel #warning; Info: If ur #hair is #thinning or falling out, its time to heed your heads #warning that something is out of whack: http://twtly.com/ev8; I've never taken a warning label more seriously. #horror #warning; Please pray! Repent! Judgement is coming to our nation. This new ruling is against Gods will! This is wrong! #wakeup people #warning; I have plans every night this week & they all require extroversion. I'll try not to be grouchy, but if I am at least you know why. #Warning

Friday, June 26, 2015

urban outfitters be like

#UrbanOutfittersBeLike organic vegan life sustaining hydrogenated oxygen $99; #UrbanOutfittersBeLike elastic-fitted bracelet $85; Waiting for the day Urban Outfitters put out their ' Isis flag arabian print dress.' $200. #UrbanOutfittersBeLike; #UrbanOutfittersBeLike Luxury Authentic Ethnic Weed Grinder $42.00; #UrbanOutfittersBeLike hand held, potassium-rich edible with removable mario cart peel in shade cadmium gold. $49.50

Thursday, June 25, 2015

short girl problems

Me when I’m walking with my friends. #ShortGirlProblems; When little kids mistaken you as an 8th grader :) #shortgirlproblems; literally every time #shortgirlproblems; i did laundry last night. #shortgirlproblems; my dad thinks me doing laundry is hilarious.... #shortgirlproblems; Why is every maxi dress made for 6 feet tall women? #shortgirlproblems

Jack and Jack girls are confident

#JackAndJackGirlsAreConfident I will never ever lose hope that someday u guys will notice me♥ @JackJackJohnson @jackgilinsky iloveyoualways; #JackAndJackGirlsAreConfident I love my fandom; Loved seeing #JackAndJackGirlsAreConfident in our mentions :); #JackAndJackGirlsAreConfident idk I'm not cute so sorry for hurting your eyes *randomly tagged*; Round 2 Cause I enjoy making people laugh #JackAndJackGirlsAreConfident

waiting for lyle

Multitasking real job with #waitingforlyle.; I just stacked a newscast under the full knowledge we may blow it off if the Supreme Court issues big decisions. #waitingforlyle #WhatWeDo; My view: Two boxes makes it unlikely we get King or SSM. #waitingforlyle; his morning we're all #waitingforlyle. @SCOTUSblog

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

unpopular adult films

Her-pes #UnpopularAdultFilms; Charlie's Anals #UnpopularAdultFilms; #UnpopularAdultFilms Guess Who's Coming At Dinner; One Night Listening to Paris Hilton's Fake Voice #UnpopularAdultFilms; Lap Dances With Wolves #UnpopularAdultFilms

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

travel tuesday

#TravelTuesday Los Cabos, the best destination for you this #summer; it's #TravelTuesday! How do you find personalized travel activities recommendations based on what you like to do and your lifestyle?; In #Cancun our mangroves are full of fabulous wildlife, help us to protect it. #TravelTuesday; We're packing our bags with all things red, white and blue for #TravelTuesday!

make a movie aggravated

Eternal Sunburn of the Spotless Mind #MakeAMovieAggravated; 12 Angry Men Arrested For Aggravated Assault #MakeAMovieAggravated; Arthur! Would #MakeAMovieAggravated be when people in a theater talk constantly and use their cell phones? Oh. I missed that one too, eh?; "Ugh, I'm so aggravated. I'm The Godfather Part 2, btw" #MakeAMovieAggravated; 12 Aggravated Men #MakeAMovieAggravated; #MakeAMovieAggravated Finding Nemo a little too late.; #MakeAMovieAggravated Where the Hell is Nemo?; #MakeAMovieAggravated Game of FURIOUSLY ANGRY Thrones; Your Fault in our Stars #MakeAMovieAggravated

Sunday, June 21, 2015

rejected carnival sideshows

deadbeat dad #RejectedCarnivalSideshows; human alarm clock #RejectedCarnivalSideshows; #RejectedCarnivalSideshows Word Swallower; #RejectedCarnivalSideShows Harriest toes; wolf boy #RejectedCarnivalSideshows

Friday, June 19, 2015

Niall we love your voice

I ALWAYS AM BUSY WHEN A NIALL TREND STARTS DAMMIT #NiallWeLoveYourVoice; #NiallWeLoveYourVoice is currently trending!; "NIALL DOESN'T THINK HIS VOICE SOUNDS GOOD" Fandom like: #NiallWeLoveYourVoice; NIALL IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN SLAY HIS SOLOS EVEN WHEN HE'S NOT FEELING WELL #NiallWeLoveYourVoice

my dream dad is

#MyDreamDadIs Darth Vader not Anakin Skywalker. @midnight; #MyDreamDadIs Bill Murray.; Not passed out in a lazy boy with 7 beer bottles next to him #MyDreamDadIs; #MyDreamDadIs real, but he's from Canada, you probably wouldn't know him.; #MyDreamDadIs a combination of every male person i have ever had a crush on

national kiss day

Just for #NationalKissingDay, we're giving away 3 Raspberry Balmis! RT+FLW to enter! Winner chosen 22/6/15 #Win; It takes two triangles to tango #NationalKissingDay; Other words for 'kissing' are basiation, bussing, lip-work, osculation, smouching, and suaviation #nationalkissingday

Thursday, June 18, 2015

reply to a song

#ReplyToASong No, YOU give love a bad name.; How Deep Is Your Love. About 6 feet for two of the Bee Gees. #ReplyToASong; I tried to do it your way Ricky but now im Livin' La Vida Broka. #ReplyToASong; Jenny no longer lives here. She changed her number and has filed a restraining order against you. Go away. #ReplyToASong; You should go. No, wait, stay. No, go. Ah hell, I can't decide either. #ReplyToASong; #ReplyToASong you might think we're alone now, but I'm filming this.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

put chocolate in a song

I really really really really really really like chocolate #putchocolateinasong; I Love This Chocolate Bar #putchocolateinasong; Hershey Loves You #putchocolateinasong; #putchocolateinasong Rolo on the River; I like big cups and I cannot lie #PutChocolateInASong; #PutChocolateInASong Wake Me Up Before You Cocoa; #putchocolateinasong Chocolate Rain

explain paradise in 4 words

#ExplainParadiseIn4Words: A world without abuse.; #ExplainParadiseIn4Words Blocked by Alex Jones.; Baseball at Chase Field. #ExplainParadiseIn4Words; #ExplainParadiseIn4Words In Between Her Thighs; Cosmo drink and him #ExplainParadiseIn4Words; Chocolate, candy, no cavities #ExplainParadiseIn4Words; Playing Dungeons and Dragons #ExplainParadiseIn4Words; #ExplainParadiseIn4Words just potatoes every where; Equal Pay for Women #ExplainParadiseIn4Words; #ExplainParadiseIn4Words Spoilers are not allowed.

speed dating wells

#speeddatingwells oh the girl that dropped me off? Thats just a friend..but if she asks tell her youre my coworker; #Speeddatingwells I live with my baby mother. But we not together though.; #SpeedDatingWells I have a closet full of crocs and I love wearing fanny packs *pulls out batman valcro wallet*; #Speeddatingwells my phone don't get calls. You can text me though; #speeddatingwells my mom single so she gonna be livin wit me until further notice; I left my debit card at home and only brought $30 with me #speeddatingwells; #Speeddatingwells I'm allergic to condoms; #SpeedDatingWells i dont have a twitter

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

three words she wants to hear

#ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear lets get Chinese; #ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear take the Swegway; #ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear I. Have. Alcohol.; #ThreeWordsSheWantsToHear One Direction tickets

how to make a movie underwhelming

#MakeAMovieUnderwhelming Pam's Labyrinth; #MakeAMovieUnderwhelming Bring Me The Bed Of Alfredo Garcia; Throw Momma From The Rail Replacement Bus #MakeAMovieUnderwhelming; Euro Staycation #MakeAMovieUnderwhelming; The Hills Have Ice #MakeAMovieUnderwhelming; Star Trek II : The annoyance of Khan #MakeAMovieUnderwhelming

Monday, June 15, 2015

why they fire me

#WhyTheyFiredMe Because I missed my dinner shift to MC for #BruceBruce; I kept asking my co-workers what kind of underwear they were wearing... #WhyTheyFiredMe #SorryNotSorry; When diners asked me for recommendations, I referred them to the incredible deals on McDonald's Dollar Menu down the block. #WhyTheyFiredMe; Telling customers the secret sauce was so flavorful bc employees did not wash their hands #WhyTheyFiredMe; Cousin Oliver was my idea. #WhyTheyFiredMe; Apparently your not suppose to date the inmates. #WhyTheyFiredMe; #WhyTheyFiredMe My boss was named Marcia and my lack of restraint and endless supply of Brady Bunch jokes won out.; Kept referring to boss as What's His Face. #WhyTheyFiredMe; When someone asks "What kind of idiot do I look like," you're not supposed to give them a detailed description. #WhyTheyFiredMe; Kept trying to turn Donut Day into Show Us Your T--s Day #WhyTheyFiredMe; labeled all my food as "My Precious", then mimicked Gollum's behavior whenever someone got near the employee fridge #WhyTheyFiredMe

liam defense squad

Tyler probably deleted his tweet cause he was too afraid he would end up like this #liamdefensesquad; #liamdefensesquad HE IS MY WORLD. LOOK AT HIM, HOW BEAUTIFUL HE IS!; Me: hey tyler Tyler: what? Me: don't forget where you belong #liamdefensesquad

Friday, June 12, 2015

ask rachel

We in the bed like? A. BEEP BEEP B. TOOT TOOT C. Oooo Oooo #AskRachel; What's really in this tub a) ice cream b) left over rice #AskRachel; Finish this line: "I'm in love with the ______" A.) Coco B.) Slow mo C.) Photo D.) All of the above #AskRachel; In 2002 what type of shoes was Nelly stepping in? A. Er force 1z B. Air force ones C. His sketchers #AskRachel

national Ex day

#NationalExDay once you fall back thats when they wanna come back; What ex? #NationalExDay; So who came up with #NationalExDay fucc my Ex lol.....; Dear ex, stop stocking me #NationalExDay; #NationalExDay.. only got respect for one & he know who he is; #NationalExDay thanks for everything .I respect you and appreciate you for everything you did.

breakfast problems

Bacon or sausage? #breakfastproblems; Strawberry banana smoothie or banana chocolate smoothie??? #breakfastproblems #food #hungry; When u go make an omelette but just have to deal with the fact it's not going ur way & must have scrambled egg instead #breakfastproblems; Note to self...breakfast sausage will cook faster if you turn on the burner under the pan. Funny how that works #BreakfastProblems

Thursday, June 11, 2015

chocolate covered peanuts

I LOVE chocolate covered peanuts. they are to die for. than again most candy is nice. my brothers will rarely eat sugar free candies but sometimes they will.

worst childhood rumors

#WorstChildhoodRumors Every institution that's supposed to protect us is shoving us closer to predators because of gay feels; Sitting close to the TV will cause blindness. Lies. #WorstChildhoodRumors; #WorstChildhoodRumors if you swallow your bubble gum - it will stay in your stomach permanently; Sawdust made piles of sick at school null and void. #WorstChildhoodRumors

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

in the 90's i thought

#InThe90sIThought Blockbuster would be the king of entertainment for decades to come.; #InThe90sIThought channel 3 solved all of my problems... #Gamer; #InThe90sIThought these newborn babies won't grow up to be screeching Orwellian groupthink automatons; #InThe90sIThought taking care of a real pet was just as easy as my #tamagotchi.; #InThe90sIThought Black women would dominate rap music in the future. I was wrong. Because of sexism there can only be one BW at a time.; #InThe90sIThought cellphones couldn't get any better than this.

make a movie painful

The Shawshanked Redemption #MakeAMoviePainful; #MakeAMoviePainful Shingles, White Female;#MakeAMoviePainful Star Warts; Pms I love you #MakeAMoviePainful; Ironed Man #MakeAMoviePainful; Sleep deprived in Seattle #MakeAMoviePainful; Stephen King's ZIT #MakeAMoviePainful; Dazed And Concussed #MakeAMoviePainful; The Break Fist Club #MakeAMoviePainful; The Princess Diarrhea #MakeAMoviePainful; Honey I Passed a Kidney Stone #MakeAMoviePainful

Monday, June 8, 2015

a pizza me

when u realise a piece of me is close to number 5 in the charts #apizzame; @JacobWhitesides jacob me and my friends handed out fliers to promote a piece of me!! :) #apizzame; @JacobWhitesides SO CLOSE I NEED ONE MORE OUT OF ALL THESE #apizzame; @JacobWhitesides i literally have no friends #apizzame; SO CLOSE TO NUMBER 5 ON THE CHARTS, how close are you to 5 people?! #apizzame http://smarturl.it/APieceOfMe

coupons

we all use coupons on occasion. to get a good deal on food, furniture, renovation, mechanical thing or beauty product. we should all use the correctly and sensibly. i know you could buy things and donate them. sometimes you use them on yourself. one couponer used coupons improperly. she was warned not to do it but unfortunately, the FCC doesn't regulate shows. i've used them to on myself, some donate them for various charities. all i'm saying is use coupons corretly and properly.

Sunday, June 7, 2015

yoga pants ban

when I was in high school senior year there was a rumor about yoga pants being banned. of course that was untrue, many rumors are. who doesn't LOVE yoga pants? I sure do. I wore them once to a softball game since they were black an comfy. I like comfy.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

i hate you

how many of us have said the words, "i hate you"? i know i have. once when i put my hair in a pony tail my teacher gave me a card that says "talk while playing with your hair." in my head i was going, "i hate you." there were times i had said that to my parents, co-workers and other parishioners. some times the phrase "i hate you" is accompanied with, "why me?" once i was saying something like word barf (stuff that makes things worse) and someone said, "everyone has the 'it factor'."

i flipped out because

#IFlippedOutBecause Just stood up from my desk, & looking back at me was sleepy kitty (2 stories up) @HashtagShenani; #IFlippedOutBecause of Joe Biden's new look.; #IFlippedOutBecause my cruel, heartless, sadistic coworker did this to the candy bowl on my desk...; #IFlippedOutBecause too many idiots think that bad dogs are born, no they are made; #IFlippedOutBecause these weed prices are too high; #IFlippedOutBecause Pac-Man is pixelating EVERYTHING in his path. #PixelsMovie

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

bad team building activities

Cards Against Humanity #BadTeamBuildingActivities; #BadTeamBuildingActivities Power Circle Jerk; Make Roy Do Everything #BadTeamBuildingActivities; Playing "guess what color underwear I'm wearing" #BadTeamBuildingActivities; Sexual Harassment Reenactments #BadTeamBuildingActivities

Monday, June 1, 2015

sorry to bring it up but

#SorryToBringItUpBut It's called "June Gloom" because of all the graduation parties you have to go to.; #SorryToBringItUpBut I like it when it's up.; #SorryToBringItUpBut you could have had him, but you drafted him.; #SorryToBringItUpBut Apparently the flintstones were oiginally intended for adults

make a movie pregnant

"Ann Gestates For Al" - A movie about Al Pacino's surrogate baby mama #MakeAMoviePregnant; 21 Bump Street #MakeAMoviePregnant; Midwife Crisis #MakeAMoviePregnant; #MakeAMoviePregnant SpongeBob StretchPants; #MakeAMoviePregnant Water Retention World